PART VI B

THE MEANING OF LIFE

[Some time later.]

[The Cleaning Woman is still on her knees, cleaning up the remains
of Mr Creosote. The Maitre D lights up a cigarette in pensive
mood.]

Maitre D: You know, Maria, I sometimes wonder whether we'll ever
discover the meaning of it all working in a place like this.

Maria: [shrugs] Oh, I've worked in worse places... philosophically
speaking.

Maitre D: Really, Maria?

Maria: Yes... I used to work in the Academie Francaise
But it didn't do me any good at all...
And I once worked in the library in the Prado in Madrid,
But it didn't teach me nothing, I recall...
And the Library of Congress, you'd have thought would hold
some key...
But it didn't. And neither did the Bodleian Library.
In the British Museum I hoped to find some clue,
I worked there from 9 till 6 - read every volume through,
But it didn't teach me nothing about Life's mystery...
I just kept getting older, and it got more difficult to see.
Until eventually me eyes went and me arthritis got bad,
And so now I'm cleaning up in here - but I can't really be
sad,
Cause you see I feel that Life's a game
You sometimes win or lose,
And though I may be down right now
At least I don't work for Jews...

[The Maitre D pours the bucket over her head and turns to
the camera looking most upset.]

Maitre D: I'm so sorry... I had no idea we had a racist working
here... I apologise... most sincerely... I mean... where are
you going - I can explain... oh, quel dommage...

[The camera pans off the Maitre D and alights on Gaston,
smoking a cigarette.]

Gaston: As for me... if you want to know what I think... I'll show
you something... come with me...

Maitre D: [out of shot] I was saying that - hallo... hallo...

Gaston: Come on... this way.

[He nods to the camera and walks out of the restaurant
and the camera follows him.]

Voice of Maitre D: I can explain everything.

Gaston: Come on - don't be shy. Mind the stairs... All right. I
think this will help explain.

[He walks through the town.]

Gaston: Come along... Come along... Over here... Come on... Come
on... This way... Come on... Stay by me, uh? Nearly there now.

[Eventually Gaston comes over a hill and nods down to a
little thatched cottage nestling idyllically in a valley.
Smoke rises up from the chimney.]

You see that? That's where I was born. You know, one day, when
I was a little boy, my mother she took me on her knee and she
said: 'Gaston, my son. The world is a beautiful place. You
must go into it, and love everyone, not hate people. You must
try and make everyone happy, and bring peace and contentment
everywhere you go.' And so... I became a waiter...

[There is a rather long pause, while he looks a bit
self-deprecating and nods shyly at the live.]

Well... it's... it's not much of a philosophy, I know...
but... well... fuck you... I can live my own life in my own
way if I want to. Fuck off! Don't come following me!