Take one Skeleton. Tell him to lie down and wait a moment.
Take one Bathrobe, preferably not pink. Actually, why not pink.
Take twenty seven and a half cubic metres of soil.
Assure the Skeleton this won't take very long.
Take six cubic metres of compost and manure, mix with soil.
Bury bathrobe.
Add worms and bacteria.
Wait twelve years.
Tell the Skeleton to shut up.
Wait five years.
Tell the Skeleton shut its yap because you're really close to calling the glue
factory.
Revel in the silence.
Mmmmm.
Wait two more years.
Unearth Smelly Brown Bathrobe of Stickiness and Eww.
Put Bathrobe on Twitching Skeleton of Infinite Impatience.

BAM
Faster, nimbler and much less enthusiastic about lying down.