Captain Spanky has an illustrious pirating career behind him, being a retired terror of the shipping lanes of the old world. Throughout the years and with the support of his crew of very untrustworthy pirates, he has been in more swashbuckling adventures than 3. He has in fact been in four. As a result of this he has lost his a leg, an ear, an eye and his maiden raping equipment. Captain Spanky was the victim of a mutiny on his treasured ship, the S.S. Spam Purse, and soon after he fell to wandering aimlessley looting, pillaging and pretending to rape all he came accross. He tired of this however and soon felt directionless, and so joined Tiny Green Wrath in an attempt to fill the void that seemed to consume his soul. But being a true pirate he cannot give up his swashbuckling addiction, and so occasionaly attempts to swashbuckle regardless of the situation, whether he is running the ball, or arguing with hamster vendors.