<b><p align="left">Da fing wif trollz iz dat deyz bigga an' tuffa az wot da orkz iz an' dat meens deyz tuff az nailz! Howeva da trollz 'ave a 'ard time wif finkin' an' dat makez 'em 'ard ta coach. Da sekkrit uv coachin' da trollz iz 'avin' wun uv da ladz wot 'asn't anyfing betta wot 'ez sappost ter holla an' screem inta da trollz 'ead. Dat part iz wot any coach figgers, howeva da fing da ladz iz sappost ta screem at da troll izn't abawt da troll movin' sumwear an' hittin' fings. Da fing da troll iz sappost iz ta stand rite propa still an' konzentrat dead 'ard on avoidin' fallin' asleep or fallin' down or steepin' on da ball or wun uv da ladz or eatin' da gobbo or da fanz. Da eaziest job for da troll iz standin' still an' dat iz how da troll 'elps out da ladz da best cuz da troll izn't messin' up da plan uv da coach if da coach iz kountin' on da trollz standin' still an' da troll iz standin' still. Troll coachin' is revurse sickology cuz wen da troll iz important fer da plan 'ave it do nuffin' an' wen da troll izn't important fer da plan yer tell it ta bash da teef owt uv da nearzt git.</b>

<i>Excerpt from 'Da Big Book uv Coachin' by Assistant Coach Gorbad, Chapta IIIIIIIII - Coachin' Trollz. ISBN Numba: Pendin' (as uv yet unpablished)</i></p>