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Dear Nick,
While you were a promising linerat, much stronger than your peers, the injuries you've received are cause for concern. You being a bit slower isn't the worst part, your tendency to get hurt if someone pokes his finger against your chest is though. We want to thank you for your immense efforts and the audacity of staying alive so far. That's why team management is considering whether we want to keep you around for your qualities or promote you to the C.L.E.A.N.E.R.S. (Corps Linerat Extraction And Newbies' Excretion Removal Squad). Both excellent options of course!
Yours ruly,
Coach Badoek and staff.