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[R] All Elves Must Die
Boris Johnson
#15
Lineman
MA
7
ST
3
AG
4
AV
7
R
6
B
14
P
-1
F
0
G
5
Cp
0
In
0
Cs
1
Td
0
Mvp
0
GPP
2
XPP
0
SPP
2
Injuries
 
Skills
Boris Johnson was born in 1947 in Acrington Stanley in the back of a fishmongers. By the time he was seven years old he had already invented the sausage roll, the wagon wheel and the concept of a packed lunch. His report card regularly cited him to be an excellent student, proficient in knitting and ventriloquism. He suffers from a rare illness that makes his breath smell like Tuesdays. He currently lives in London where he rides around on a bike farting at tourists and hitting poor people with a rolled up copy of the Times. He is often described by the people of London as being a "Bumbling thunder clutz with all the personality and wit of a damp sprout thats been left in the rain". But then they are being nice.
Match performances
Date
Opponent
Comp
TD
Int
Cas
Mvp
Spp
2012-10-18
-
-
-
1
-
2