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Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.

Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.

David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, [some versions have 'Schopenhauer and Hegel']

And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.

Plato, they say, could stick it away--
Half a crate of whisky every day.

Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,

And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
'I drink, therefore I am.'

Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.

<span style="font-style: italic;">Composer: Eric Idle
Author: Eric Idle
First heard on Monty Python's Flying Circus
The Second Series (aired from Sep. 15, 1970 to Dec. 22, 1970)
Episode 22: How To Recognize Different Parts Of The Body.
Recorded 25 September 1970, Aired 24 November 1970 , Prod. #62027</span>
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Lineman
6 3 4 7
Block
  10 1 0 0 2 1 10/16 80k
(70)k
 
2
Lineman
6 3 4 7
Block
  9 0 2 0 0 1 11/16 80k
(70)k
 
3
Lineman
6 3 4 7
Dirty Player
  10 3 0 0 0 1 8/16 80k
(100)k
 
4
Lineman
6 3 4 7
Guard
  9 1 0 0 1 2 13/16 90k
(80)k
 
5
Lineman
6 3 4 7   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 60k
(50)k
 
7
Lineman
6 3 4 7
Guard
  10 1 2 0 0 1 12/16 90k
(80)k
 
8
Lineman
6 3 4 7   9 1 0 0 1 0 3/6 60k
(50)k
 
10
Blitzer
7 3 5 8
Block, Side Step
Dodge, +AG
  10 0 5 0 1 1 22/31 170k
(190)k
 
11
Thrower
6 3 4 7
Pass
Sure Hands, Dodge
  10 18 0 0 1 1 25/31 110k
(123)k
 
12
Blitzer
7 3 4 8
Block, Side Step
  1 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 110k
(130)k
 
13
Catcher
8 4 4 7
Catch, Nerves of Steel
+ST, Block
  8 2 3 0 0 1 16/31 170k
(205)k
 
16
Catcher
8 3 4 7
Catch, Nerves of Steel
Dodge
  4 0 5 0 0 0 15/16 120k
(143)k
 
12 players  
Coach: Waratah Re-Rolls (100k): 2  
Race: Elf Fan Factor: 12  
Current Team Value: 0k Assistant Coaches: 3  
Treasury: 0k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1520k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:10 (5/2/3) |TD Diff:8 (26 - 18) |Cas Diff:-3 (11/8/1 - 13/8/2)
Last Opponent: Immortals II