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Schlock Mercenary
Retired [R] Human

The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries:


1. Pillage, then burn.
2. A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.
3. An ordnance technician at a dead run outranks everybody.
4. Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.
5. Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.
6. If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.
7. If the food is good enough the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire.
8. Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.
9. Never turn your back on an enemy.
10. Sometimes the only way out is through. . . through the hull.
11. Everything is air-droppable at least once.
12. A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.
13. Do unto others.
14. "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?"
15. Only you can prevent friendly fire.
16. Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.
17. The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster.
18. If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear.
20. If you're not willing to shell your own position, you're not willing to win.
21. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.
22. If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody's done something wrong.
24. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun.
27. Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.
28. If the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able to get paid to bring ammunition home with you.
29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.
30. A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.
31. Only cheaters prosper.
34. If you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.
35. That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.
36. When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.
37. There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.'
38. Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients.
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Sergeant Schlock
Ogre
5 5 2 9
Bone-head, Loner, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Throw Team-Mate
Guard, Stand Firm
   20 0 0 0 6 1 17/ 180k
(140+40)k
  
2
Captain Tagon
Blitzer
7 3 3 8
Block
   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 90k
(90+0)k
  
3
Captain Andreyasn
Blitzer
7 3 3 8
Block
Mighty Blow, Juggernaut, Tackle
   20 0 4 0 10 2 42/ 150k
(90+60)k
  
4
Ennesby
Blitzer
7 3 3 8
Block
Mighty Blow, Tackle, Diving Tackle, Stand Firm
   20 0 2 0 17 3 55/ 180k
(90+90)k
  
5
Petey
Blitzer
7 4 3 8
Block
Mighty Blow, +ST
   13 0 3 0 3 1 20/ 160k
(90+70)k
  
6
Warrant officer Gunther Thurl
Lineman
6 3 3 8   4 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50+0)k
  
7
Ed Bunnigus
Lineman
6 3 3 8
Wrestle, Fend
   20 2 0 0 2 3 21/ 90k
(50+40)k
  
8
Commander Foxworthy
Lineman
5 3 3 8
Dirty Player
 -ma 18 0 1 0 2 0 7/ 70k
(50+20)k
  
9
Reverend Theo Fobius
Lineman
6 3 3 8
Wrestle
   18 1 1 0 1 1 11/ 70k
(50+20)k
  
10
Longshoreman Of The Apocalypse
Lineman
6 3 3 8
Dirty Player, Kick
   20 0 0 0 2 3 19/ 90k
(50+40)k
  
11
Lawyer Drone
Thrower
6 3 3 8
Pass, Sure Hands
Leader, Block, Accurate, Kick-Off Return
   20 8 10 0 1 3 55/ 150k
(70+80)k
  
12
Tailor
Catcher
8 2 3 7
Catch, Dodge
Block, Side Step
   13 1 7 0 1 1 29/ 100k
(60+40)k
  
13
Gav Bleuel
Catcher
8 2 3 7
Catch, Dodge
Block
   10 1 4 0 0 0 13/ 80k
(60+20)k
  
14
Legs
Lineman
6 3 3 8   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50+0)k
  
14 players  
Coach: Stonetroll Re-Rolls (100k): 3  
Race: Human Fan Factor: 11  
Current Team Value: 1840k (±640) Assistant Coaches: 1  
Treasury: 10k Cheerleaders: 1  
Team Value: 1840k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:20 (15/3/2) |TD Diff:27 (41 - 14) |Cas Diff:20 (27/18/8 - 23/8/2)
Last Opponent: Free Booters