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Shallow Grave Dwellers
Roster [L] Necromantic Horror

BUT I'M NOT DEAD YET!

A team devoted to the principal concept that BloodBowl is not for the living amongst us; It's pure discrimination that the majority of players have so called "bbblllloooooodddd" (!) in their veins and have "feeeeelliiiinngggsss" (!)


Recruited by a Necromancer, the ever famous Willfrig "Cold-Blood" Asphyx who trawls newly buried graves of the Empire, the team operates on a play-by-night basis as to not interfere with the lack of melanoma in the teams skin. This also means it doesn't interrupt with the teams sleep pattern


There was a chance that the SGD's were not going to be allowed to compete in the Dart Bowl 2nd round, due to flagrant breaches of rules and regulations in previous competitions.

In the inter-mural friendly leagues of Altdorf and Nuln, the teams method of choice for entering the pitch was burying themselves into their own touchdown zone before anyone entered the stadium and subsequently bursting out when their team name was called. This constant use of ruining the state of the pitch was filed as a complaint by the board members of the Pitch Inspectors Union, but their worries were belayed very quickly... when they were inducted into the team as the zombies.

In the first half of the semi-final in the Kislev Cup, against a fledgling Norse team, the opposition managers and the referees accused the SDG's of fielding too many zombies. This accusation was met with a simple expedient of Willfrig utilising his dark powers - hence, the birth of Pygmalion and Amalgam the flesh golems. The Norse managers still complained that all the zombies were still playing; however, Willfrig explained that Pygmalion and Amalgam were technically each ONE player. Additionally, there were very few people to argue with two great hulking figures of freshly compacted flesh.

In the penultimate league match of the Moot Meet, a Halfling team called "The Stoutheart Stunties" were winning 2-1. This was largely due to the overwhelming crowd support of halflings, all catalysed through their team mascot, Ripper the Rover. However, during a mysteriously long half time break, the SDG's were able to present a new team member, Ripper the werewolf. The Stoutheart Stunties and their fans were riled at the blatant infringement, but could do little to complain, as Ripper began to tear through the Stoutlands defense. The SDG's only managed to salvage a 2 - 2 draw, as even Rippers own team were unsure as to how to rein him in!


Even with all these suspicious violations and the resultant reactions, the SDG's are here to stay for the Dart Bowl. Let's see what they can do!


________________________________________________________________________________


In the first game for the SDG's, they faced The Uncastables; a surly looking bunch by their own standards! A new member to the SDG's joined the ranks mid-game as Ripper, enamored by the affections of Handsy the dwarf, saw weakness in his affection and tore him a new one. Willfrig casted his dark magic and Handsy joins the ranks. His ultimate goal is to be the ball carrier (Handsy... ball carrier... no?).

However, the red mist descended over The Uncastables and moments later, Ripper was put down. Willfrig has a backup plan however. Ripper was a lady werewolf. with babies....

A stellar performance by Peg legged Jim and Harry the Heartless saw the SDG's grind out a 1 - 0 win. Next up, The more exotic tastes of the Scarlet Harlots.

______________________________________________________________________________


The second game (Against the Scarlet Harlots, a team that did the miraculous job of creating more bones in an undead team...) for the SDG's resulted in a stellar performance for a player who did not feature strongly in the first game; Derek the DoubleJointed really made a strong effort in the game, becoming the linchpin behind everything the SDG's positive movement forward up the pitch. In a post match interview, Derek has stated that he should have been on the pitch in Rippers position when she died. He now is paying recompense by looking after the pups and deciding which one will make the cut.

Other notable mentions was the performance of Derek Daffodil, who continues his bloody run and keeps the lead of the most bloodthirsty member of the team. Coach Willfrig is planning to make him a Flesh Golem (or at least, his arms)

Further note should go to the ghouls, PegLegged Jim and Harry the Heartless.

Next up, in an almost antithetic move; the Miss Ogre Beauty Pageant, whose beauty runs skin deep. Willfrig reckons these girls have got a LOT of skin.

_______________________________________________________________________________


In the third game of the Dart Bowl, the SDG's felt a bit apprehensive facing the sheer might of the Miss Ogre Beauty Pageant. This fact was slightly belayed when Amalgam stepped up in the first half and cracked a punch in Heathers ample chest. The driving force, once again, behind this game was the pair of Harry the Heartless and Peg Legged Jim, leading the offensive drive and tying up the Snotling fury.

Two interesting developments from this game; Harry The Heartless faced down Antoine the snotling deep in the M.O.B.P's half, and refused to damage him. Willgrig thinks that Harry is getting his emotions back.

As a sad loss, Derek the Double Jointed snuffed it to a mighty Ogre smash, as recompense for the loss of Heather. The Ogre ladies spotted which creature on the SDG's looked the least dead.


In pre-match news, Willfrig has chosen which creature shall replace Ripper. Bala, her son, has been fed on a diet of greenskins. Next two games. Goblins and Orcs.

________________________________________________________________________________

In the fourth match of the Dart Bowl, the SDG's, with new member Bala in tow, they arrived at the pitch facing down the Misty Mountain Marauders. The SDG's wondered why they were facing down Pint sized Orcs, but then realised on further inspection (and the notable two "Bigguns") they were facing Goblins.


However, The SDG's complacency was short lived when they saw a menagerie of metal, spikes and weapons.

HOWEVER, The team realised this was false yet again, as Willfrig stated "They are goblins. you can stand on them."


The first half was a bloody affair, with green skin flying all over the place with goblins responding in kind.

Notable performances go to Derek Daffodil, the most ruthless zombie in the Dart Bowl. His ability to crash into other players is renowned. Peg Legged Jim performed in a stellar fashion, being the driving force behind the team. An emerging star never the less.

It is with sad regret, that Harry the Heartless snuffed it in the game and PegLegged Jim wept a solitary tear; if it had been the other way around, Harry would have just laughed.

Flesh Golem Pygmalion took a knock around the neck and his reflexes were amazing. However, Willfrig was still hanging onto the corpse of Derek the DoubleJointed, as Dereks final request was to be buried in the circus graveyard. Willfrig took the broken body of Pygmalion and used his necromancy to fuse the body of Pygmalion to Dereks agile corpse. Low and Behold, Gormenghast was born!

Next up, the final game against the Orphaned Orcs.

________________________________________________________________________________

In the final game of the Dart Bowl league, Willfrig was running out of ideas. He had used underhanded tactics, luck, skill (only rarely though) and in some cases, hurling bare-faced insults that weren't true. This was because The SDG's came up against a well polished, well maintained potential winners of the league, The Orphaned Orcs.

Sure, they were an unloved bunch at birth, but many saw the Orcs as hot favourites to win the league.

How curious it was that Willfrig saw his team perched on the top of the table prior to the game, and being able to spend an inordinate amount of money, due to the Orcs sheer strength and weight over the SDG's.

He enlisted the help of star player Hack Enslash; an odd choice, the spectators thought. With nearly 300,000 to spend, he could have had his pick of most ringers, but he went for Hack Enslash as he also recruited the help of an extra Wight to bolster his teams blocking ability.



The game grinded out to a goal-less affair, as it was all Willfrig and the SDG's required to ensure a clear points difference in victory.


Most notable of notable performances go to Bala, the pup of Ripper. His keen eye, speed and determination along the wings saw some progress on the wings, but with key positional players tied up (as Willfrig would have expected from such a well-tuned Orc team) he was often surrounded by zombies.

Hack Enslash the celebrity managed to deliver a keen-eyed blow to a Black Orc. There's not much else to say on that, Willfrig and the rest of the team enjoyed seeing it.

Other notable performances of the game go to Derek Daffodil, for his prowess... at pushing people into the spectators, and Charlie Chrysanthemum, receiving the final audience and team favourite MVP award of the season.

and with that, comes the SDG's final game in the Dart Bowl, proving that one doesn't need a brain, melanoma, a liver, a heart, and many other vital organs, to play the great, great sport of Bloodbowl.


From all of us at Six Feet Under Reviewing, Farewell.

______________________________________________________________________________________________
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Gormengast
Flesh Golem
4 4 2 9
Regeneration, Stand Firm, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 110k
(110+0)k
  
2
Handsy
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
   5 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 40k
(40+0)k
  
3
Peg Legged Jim
Wight Blitzer
6 3 3 8
Block, Regeneration
Mighty Blow, Tackle
   5 1 4 0 4 0 21/31 130k
(90+40)k
  
4
Vladimir the Nimble
Ghoul Runner
7 3 3 7
Dodge
   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 70k
(70+0)k
  
5
Bernard Beauregard
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
   5 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 40k
(40+0)k
  
6
Charlie Chrysanthemum
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
   5 0 0 0 0 1 5/6 40k
(40+0)k
  
7
Larry Lily
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
   5 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 40k
(40+0)k
  
8
Derek Daffodil
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
Block, Dauntless
 m 5 0 0 0 3 2 16/31 80k
(0)k
  
9
Robert Rose
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
   5 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 40k
(40+0)k
  
10
Amalgam
Flesh Golem
4 4 2 9
Regeneration, Stand Firm, Thick Skull
   5 0 0 0 1 0 2/6 110k
(110+0)k
  
11
Chris Crocus
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
   5 0 0 0 1 0 2/6 40k
(40+0)k
  
12
Bala
Werewolf
9 3 3 8
Claw, Frenzy, Regeneration
+MA
   2 1 1 0 1 0 6/16 150k
(120+30)k
  
11 players (+1 player missing next game)  
Coach: TJB Re-Rolls (140k): 2  
Race: Necromantic Horror Fan Factor: 8  
Current Team Value: 1040k Assistant Coaches: 1  
Treasury: 0k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1120k Apothecary: No  

Games Played:5 (4/1/0) |TD Diff:8 (8 - 0) |Cas Diff:5 (11/1/2 - 1/3/5)
Last Opponent: Orphaned Orcs