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In its infancy, the Eternal Gemstone Tour trundled along through Brettonia. The fans were happy with the almighty undead Cryptic Humours. They were happy with the bloodthirsty and reckless Craghammers. They were even happy with the shambolic antics of the Warp Thirteens (Bio page incomplete).
But head coach Stonefist was not happy. As a young Dwarf lad, he'd spent plenty of time in Altdorf (mainly inside its brothels and taverns). He missed walking along the river Reik. He missed the School of Engineers firing their cannons throughout the day. He missed the devout Sigmar worshippers. He missed the Colleges of Magic and their orders: Amber through Amethyst, and all the rest.
So as the Malachite Tour came to an end, he dispatched his scouts and he assembled his financiers. 'We're starting a human team,' Stonefist told them.
'We can't do that!' One of his gnomish accountant's squeaked. 'The blitzers cost a royal fortune! It won't be like when one of our norsemen die. They're a silver coin per dozen and we can just resurrect the corpse and stick it on the Cryptic LoS. These humans, they'll die in droves and be expensive to replace.'
'Elzebar,' Stonefist growled. 'Hold your tongue or I'll send you out to practice blocking with Muncher.' Then even the Stonefist himself averted his eyes. This one was a big sell, he knew it. 'And another thing. We're joining the Human League.'
All of them piped up then: 'What?!' Thori, a Dwarf money man, was the first to speak next: 'Stonefist, we'll get obliterated in the B division. We'll need hundreds of players. We just don't have the coin for this kind of endeavour. It'll ruin us!'
Stonefist looked around at his staff and grinned. His undead Dwarf eyes glittered. Stroking his long braided beard, he said: 'We're going to win that Human League and I want one of my gemstones set into that trophy.'
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| Record: 3 Wins, 2 Draws, 5 Defeats | | TD Difference: 0 (8-8) | | Casualty Difference: -2 (7/11/1 - 14/6/1) | | Summary: The Reikland Ruin, hailing from Altdorf, make their debut in the Eternal Gemstone tour's second leg in Western Bretonnia. They visit Bordeleaux, Mousillon, and Artois and play for the likes of Earl Burden the Wild, Ganelon, Evroul and Mallobaude in their first ten games. Each game will count towards a sprint in the Human League Conference. | Tour Summary:- Their debut. A 2-0 win over a Norse outfit. The Ruin cause two SIs. Blitzer Jonas Raven gets one of these casulties and nets a TD. Blitzer Dirk Warlock will sit the next game out through injury.
- The Ruin put in an unbelievable performance against Dorfs and win it 3-0 in very sunny weather. With only a triforce of Blitzers available, the Cryptic Tour fans were a little worried about the Dorf Deathroller lining up - but the Dorfs just didn't seem to turn up. Blitzer Herman Rascal gets into the Dorf offence before they can get set up, and gets himself a TD with help from fellow Blitzer (and last game's MVP-winner) Jonas Raven. Lineman Helmet Runekiller fouls and Badly Hurts Dorf Blocker Thukan Elfbane, which gets an almighty cheer from the crowd (and keeps the rerolls coming). Ogre Günther eventually drags down the Dorf ball carrier. An absolutely insane 6+ pass (remember: very sunny weather) from lineman Johan Saber leads to a last turn 2-0 lead for the Ruin. Blitzer Wolfram Godhunt gets the score. In the second half, the Dorfs are a little more awake. They get a perfect D on the kickoff, but blitzer Herman Rascal responds by 1-die block BH Bluebeard Ninelives, bring him down to eight lives. The Ruin wait patiently for an opening and stand strong against a host of blocks. Wolfram gets his second TD to seal the deal. He levels for mighty blow (fitting given his early-game blitz-and-score play) and fellow blitzer Herman levels up for guard. Merc lineman Franz-Albert Grimlight steals the MVP, so we have to hire him.
- A game v Underworld of 34-31 blocks in our favour where we ended up with 4 BH (including Ogre Günther), 1 Killed and managed to BH only one. This, in tandem with a rude opposing coach complaining of our "luck", made for a pretty miserable game for the Ruin. If Stonefist weren't already wanted for murder in three seperate countries, there might have been blood in one of the dugouts after this game tonight. Still, the Underworld scum only manage a 1-1 draw. 2-spp lineman Helmet Runekiller gives his life trying to screen our ball carrier early in the game, which was necessary after a sprightly blitz-and-catch Underworld play on our offense. Guard Blitzer Herman Rascal takes the MVP, which is deserved for a change after he stands tall all game even when there are precious few of the Reikland Ruin remaining.
- We walk off after three casualties (1 serious) in the first turn and a -1 ST injury in the second. 'This was a cheesy Amazon team made by a Coach angry with CLAWPOMB,' Coach Stonefist said. 'I'm interested in money. After that, I'm interested in player saftey - which runs in tandem with my interest in money. If this lad and his team are going to fight the cancer of CLAWPOMB with the cancer of low TV cheesy Amazons, he can find another team to kick around. I've got to think of the bigger picture. Any of the fans don't like that, they can shove it up their arses'. Lineman Johan Saber (responsible for that insane 6+ pass) is retired with - ST. Siegfried Storm will MNG.
- A late score here for the Chaos Dwarves results in a close 0-1 defeat. That's three games without a win. Blitzer Dirk Warlock will sit out through injury again, but the apo did save him from a career-ending injury. Mighty Blow Blitzer Wolfram Godhunt has an incredible game. He causes a casulty hatrick, two of them MNG injuries. Unbelievably, Franz-Albert Grimlight is awarded the MVP instead (that's 2 games from 2). He gets doubles and takes guard.
- The Ruin lose their third game on the trot against an incredibly strong Khemri outfit. It finishes 2-0. In fairness, the other side were heavily favoured. Even a wizard couldn't produce the magic Reikland desperately needed. Thrower Jurgen Jackal skills up for +1 AG and unconventional Blitzer Jonas Raven takes sidestep.
- Four games without a TD and four straight losses after this 1-0 loss to Dwarfs. Even a kill and SI from 3 casulties (two from MB Blitzer Wolfram Godhunt and one casualty from Ogre Günther) can't take the focus from the Ruin's appalling offense. POMB Blitzer Wolfram Godhunt is apo-saved from death.
- The Ruin break their scoring duck but slump to a fifth straight defeat. It finishes 2-1 against this fellow Human League Conference team. Reikland managed to SI two players, including a Catcher star player, but they just can't do enough to break out of their funk. Sidestepping Blitzer Jonas Raven grabs two casulties and a TD for a 7-point game. Head Coach Stonefist decides to mix things up a little and hires catcher Helmut Honourgrail to help out on offense.
- Boring scoreless draw here against a skilled and favoured Undead team. The pouring rain prevents either side from scoring in a game marred by terrible conditions. POMB Blitzer Wolfram Godhunt does manage to serious injure a zombie in a game little worthy of mention. The wizard is used to prevent our opponents from scoring.
- Fortune favours the brave? Or those who persevere? Reikland take on a heavily favoured Orc outfit and eventually win 1-0. The wizard helps them convert the TD and a healthy dose of fortune and clutch defending helps them keep a clean sheet. Ogre Günther has a standout performance. Defending against a Black Orc Block by fracturing his opponent's skull and getting in the right place to prevent the TD. A TD and an MVP for Dirk Warlock, who for a change decided not to spend most of the game in the KO box, gets the TD and the MVP. He finally skills up (after ten games) and takes Guard. The Ruin will be glad the end of the tour finally breaks a seven game winless streak but will be hoping for a much better run as the Tour rolls into Northern Brettonia.
| Topaz Trophy Winner:
POMB Blitzer Wolfram Godhunt takes the award at the end of this tour for putting in 3 touchdowns and 8 casualties. He grabbed himself an MVP and was apo-saved from death in our 2-1 defeat at the hands of a rival Human League Conference team. | Our Ruined Players:
- Lineman Helmut Runekiller gave his life in a 1-1 draw with an Underworld team. He was well known for fouling and BHing a Dorf Blocker in the Ruin's second game.
- Lineman Johan Saber took a -1 STR injury injury in Reikland's walk off against a despicable Zon Cheese team. He was well known for making an insane 6+ pass in Reikland's triumphant 3-0 win over Dorfs.
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Halfing Vampirized
[B] Human
