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**Season X of the NWFL marked the initiation of the St. Paul Apostles into the league. And that hurt, a lot. There were some highlights; a coin flip win over a non-responding coach, killing Kirsak an AG4 Throw-Ra from the Priest Kings, and getting their first non-loss of the season in the final match. Looking forward to the Season XI Preseason and the continued malignant growth of the Apostles. **Season XI was looking promising heading into the second half with a wildcard/divisional playoff birth within reach. Then elves happened and everything went to rebuild mode. Porous the XIII gets himself killed on the cusp of his 4th skill which of course earns him MVP. Failure of the rest of the team to do anything meaningful results in a 0-3 loss with 0 SPP gained. This game shall never be forgotten nor spoken of again. Nothing against Emanukio, who played a great game and was fun to chat with, I just hope his team dies a slow and painful death. **Season XII saw the putrid surge of the Apostles continue as they claimed their first division title. This was quickly followed by their first playoff defeat as the post season experience of the Butte Kickers was in full effect against the starry eyed Apostles. Next up is attempting to figure out the Salary Cap (Editors Note: already done and pretty sure I f'd it up) and begin the waiting process for season XIII **Season XIII was a step back for the Apostles as they saw their Division Title fall into the hands of arch nemesis and rumored sheepophile OTS and his Butte Kickers. With their eyes set on making things right the Apostles took the field as a wild card and played like ass. Not just ass, but 40+ hours without going to the bathroom after drinking 30+ cheap beers and eating nothing but eggs and rancid chicken. I'm disappointed in myself as a coach and my team for not doing what they should be doing and hurting their opponents. Of course, if I learned even the basics of positioning and reroll management, perhaps we'd be in better shape. That's it, I'm firing myself as coach. So long idiot, hopefully the new coach hired in the offseason isn't a complete meat sack. **Season XIV will probably go down as a success. A wildcard seed resulted in the teams first playoff victory in an overtime match against the Hogtown Hoodoo. That was followed up with a grueling 22 turn match against the Sharks that ended 0-1. So, yay we made the playoffs, and yay we won our 1st playoff match, but the team is at a point now where if there isn't a deep playoff run then the disappointment is too damn high!(c)thoralf The offseason trimming saw the retirement of Herod the Heady to make way for the next generation of slobbering frenzied Pestigors. Also the loss of 2 beloved rerolls which will hopefully be recovered in the preseason. Season XV, time to get serious **Season XV was a tale of 2 seasons. Regular season(Yay!) and the Playoffs(FFS!). A dominant season resulted in a #1 seed in the NFC and a first round bye. On the way, El Poop the III finally realized how to develop into a proper roadblock and seized the chance to become a centerpiece for the team. Of course none of that matters when once again you sh*t the f*cking bed like a mother*cking dipsh*t mutherf*cker in the playoffs. F*ck! Apparently nothing has been learned about the difference between regular season BB and playoff BB. If the Apostles are good enough to make the playoffs in season XVI you can be damn sure the coach will be taking copious amounts of mind enhancing drugs prior, during, and after the games. And alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. **Season XVI and the corner was turned. The Apostles came together prior to the season in one of those cheesy team building exercises and forged a new team motto: "Repent or we'll f*cking kill you!" While I wasn't sure of how well received this new battle cry would be within the league (think of the children!) the players seemed very pleased with themselves so who am I to argue? Turns out that on one hand it was very ineffective (zero opposing coaches chose to repent), but on the other it was very effective (We f*cking killed them)! The Apostles rode this wave through the playoffs and into the Superior Bowl where a very tough match awaited them in the form of the defending Champion Jelly Fingers. As expected licker chose not to repent, but the Apostles failed to f*cking kill him as well and so the season ended with a 1-2 OT loss. Heads held high though as the game was played well on both sides and could have gone either way. Of course, being that close to the Championship only further encourages the Apostles in their return in Season XVII. "Repent or we'll f*cking kill you II, Electric Nurgle-oo" |
Player | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Skills | Inj | G | Cp | Td | It | Cs | Mvp | SPP | Cost | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 |
Bloater
|
4 | 4 | 2 | 9 | Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearance, Nurgle's Rot, Regeneration Block, Mighty Blow, Jump Up, Claw, Tackle, Guard |
  | 90 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 71 | 7 | Legend 180 |
240k
(110+130)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
2 |
Bloater
|
4 | 5 | 2 | 9 | Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearance, Nurgle's Rot, Regeneration +ST, Block, Tentacles |
  | 17 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 6 | 36/51 | 200k
(110+90)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
3 |
Bloater
|
4 | 4 | 2 | 9 | Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearance, Nurgle's Rot, Regeneration Block, Guard |
  | 8 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 17/31 | 150k
(110+40)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
5 |
Pestigor
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Horns, Nurgle's Rot, Regeneration Block, Guard |
  | 14 | 2 | 5 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 29/31 | 120k
(80+40)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
6 |
Pestigor
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Horns, Nurgle's Rot, Regeneration |
  | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 80k
(80+0)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
7 |
Pestigor
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Horns, Nurgle's Rot, Regeneration Block, Tackle, Mighty Blow, Claw, Frenzy |
  | 34 | 1 | 10 | 0 | 23 | 4 | 97/176 | 180k
(80+100)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
9 |
Pestigor
|
7 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Horns, Nurgle's Rot, Regeneration +MA, Block |
  | 11 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 19/31 | 130k
(80+50)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
10 |
Rotter
|
5 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Decay, Nurgle's Rot |
  | 10 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 40k
(40+0)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
11 |
Rotter
|
5 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Decay, Nurgle's Rot |
  | 11 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 40k
(40+0)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
13 |
Rotspawn
|
4 | 5 | 1 | 9 | Disturbing Presence, Foul Appearance, Loner, Mighty Blow, Nurgle's Rot, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Tentacles Block, Stand Firm, Dodge, Guard, Break Tackle |
  | 66 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 16 | 11 | 90/176 | 260k
(140+120)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
16 |
Rotter
|
5 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Decay, Nurgle's Rot Dirty Player |
  | 24 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 1 | 11/16 | 60k
(40+20)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
11 players | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Games Played: | 131 (65/29/37) | | | TD Diff: | 45 (154 - 109) | | | Cas Diff: | 141 (222/127/33 - 96/88/57) |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Last Opponent: Butte Kickers |