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Deliverymen
P [L] Khainite Assassins

Imagine your ideal workplace...

Do you receive a good salary? Is it free from physical, verbal, and sexual harassment? Do you have a nice chunk of paid vacation days as well as paid sick days? DO you enjoy what you do? Is it free of monotony and repetitive menial tasks?

Is your boss kind and understanding? Do you like your coworkers, heck, are you friends with your coworkers OUTSIDE of work? On that note, do you have a life outside of work? IS any overtime you do both optional and compensated at a higher rate?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you've clearly never worked for UPS. DO you know what UPS stands for? WRONG. You fool, of course you don't. You said United Parcel Service didn't you. Incorrect you ignorant troglodyte. It stands for Unpaid Postage Slavers. IT isn't a company, but a forced labour camp operating in the shadows. It's a front for the Illuminati and part of their first steps toward their goal of creating a New World Order. The (unpaid, forced) labourers who work for it receive no pay, no benefits, and no days off. They're worked to their deaths. How does one get "recruited" I hear you ask. Easy, all you have to do is speak out against the Illuminati, make jokes about the Illuminati, go against their plans for the NWO (knowingly or otherwise), or be black.

After years of working for UPS (Unpaid Postal Slavers) these deliverymen have finally had enough! No more letters and packages for this lot, they've decided to expediently deliver knives to throats and backs instead! Unfortunately for the average citizens, year of brainwashing coupled with (literal) soul draining forced labour has robbed these men of their wits and are now essentially mindless murder machines with one purpose. Eliminate everyone associated with the Illuminati. But because they have no way of identifying members from non-members, and no way to know who's lying and who isn't, they've decided the best course of action is to just kill everyone. Including their own team members, once they're finished with the rest of the world. (You never know if one of them is actually an Illuminati mole working undercover to further the plans for the NWO!)

Time to GO POSTAL!
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Postman Pat
Shadow Blade
7 3 4 8
Dodge, Shadowing, Stab
Block, Mighty Blow, Side Step, Tackle
   17 4 10 0 6 3 61/76 200k
(110+90)k
  
2
The Milk Man
Shadow Blade
7 3 4 8
Dodge, Shadowing, Stab
Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Strip Ball
   17 2 11 0 6 2 57/76 200k
(110+90)k
  
3
Truck Driver Tim
Assassin
6 3 4 7
Shadowing, Stab
Block, Dodge
   16 3 3 0 1 1 19/31 120k
(80+40)k
  
4
Delivery Dannyboy
Assassin
6 3 4 7
Shadowing, Stab
   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 80k
(80+0)k
  
5
Letter Opener Larry
Assassin
7 3 4 7
Shadowing, Stab
+MA, Dodge, Block
   17 4 6 0 0 3 37/51 150k
(80+70)k
  
6
Stabbin' Steve
Assassin
6 3 4 7
Shadowing, Stab
Block, Dodge
   15 3 1 0 0 2 16/31 120k
(80+40)k
  
7
Underpaid Eugune
Neophyte
6 3 4 7   14 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 60k
(60+0)k
  
8
Insufficient Stamps Illiam
Neophyte
5 3 4 7
Wrestle, Dodge
 -ma 16 1 0 0 5 1 16/31 100k
(60+40)k
  
9
Longer Hauler Lutherer
Neophyte
6 3 4 7   4 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 60k
(60+0)k
  
10
Postal Paul
Neophyte
6 3 5 7
+AG, Dodge, Block
   17 10 7 1 1 2 45/51 140k
(60+80)k
  
11
Drop Off David
Neophyte
6 3 4 7   6 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 60k
(60+0)k
  
12
A. Mason Prime
Neophyte
6 3 4 7
Kick
   11 0 0 0 1 1 7/16 80k
(60+20)k
  
13
The Postmaster General
Executioner
6 3 4 8
Chainsaw, Secret Weapon
Block
   8 0 0 0 1 1 7/16 90k
(70+20)k
  
13 players  
Coach: McLovin Re-Rolls (100k): 3  
Race: Khainite Assassins Fan Factor: 7  
Current Team Value: 1730k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 90k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1730k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:17 (11/3/3) |TD Diff:16 (38 - 22) |Cas Diff:2 (19/11/9 - 20/10/7)
Last Opponent: Shpirit Disturbers