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[R] Snotling
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TEAM BIO No, you’re not hallucinating. Those are Snotlings. A team of Snotlings. Sure, they have a Pump Wagon, and sure there are loads of them, but, you know, they’re Snotlings. They make Goblins look fierce and Halflings seem thoroughly athletic by comparison. Snotlings are the smallest, weakest and most dim-witted of the green-skinned races. They are not very intelligent and behave like extremely enthusiastic and uncontrollable puppies or like crazed 5 year old football hooligans who love Blood Bowl so much, they are willing to die for their team whether as a player or a fan. These vicious little gits have achieved notoriety for their sheer stupidity and their foul habits, and to this day ‘Snotling fondler’ is an insult coined throughout the Old World. Normally they are only good for fetching and carrying for other Goblins or Orcs and occasionally as a snack, but they are little use for any real work. Snotlings are notorious for being the worst Blood Bowl players that Nuffle could have envisioned, and after decades of letting down other races they have banded together to form their own teams and let each other, and their coaches, down instead. It was a Gnoblar coach called Bezer who first decided to set up a Snotling Blood Bowl team after he failed to secure work with any other race due to his small size, at least he could boss around tiny snotlings! He travelled to the Badlands and found a tribe of snotlings who he quickly forced into servitude with the help of some balloons with angry faces drawn on them which when popped scared the snotlings who hailed Bezer as a giant snotling and a wizard. The balloon was dubbed the Bogeyman and became the team mascot. As such the Badland Bogeys were born and they were so successful that some players sometimes even survived a match... Many see the Bogeys as a joke team but when their Pump Wagons and Trolls do the work they can cause some serious havoc. Snotlings are aware that the other races mock their prowess at Blood Bowl but they don't really care because: "Dey gets crumped jus' as bad as we duz - an' dey gots furder ta fall!" TROPHY ROOM Just a collection of dusty wooden spoons... for now... FECK ALL TEAM & PLAYER RECORDS Team founded on: Pump Wagons built: Longest Win Streak: 2 Longest Undefeated Streak: Longest Losing Streak: Longest streak without a win: 5 Biggest Win: 2-0 Biggest Loss: 0-2 Concession Wins: 2 Most Cas Caused in a game: Highest SPP Player: Longest Killing Streak: Best Snot: Most fouls: Most Blocks: Most Cas: Most passes: Most interceptions: Best rusher: Badland Bogeys were the first ever Snotling team to be formed and they also played the first ever NAF sanctioned snotling game in history. "Oi! Stop runnin' away, yer snivellin' panzies, we like goin' fast and crumpin' stuff!" AIMS On the teams founding on: {date}, Coach Bezer scribbled down a list of aims he wanted the Bogeys to achieve: 1) "Snot so bad" - Win a game - DONE Game 6 2) "I kid you snot" - Keep a Clean Sheet - DONE Game 6 3) "Snot guilty" - Kill a player with a foul 4) "Pick on someone your own size!" - Get a snotling cas - DONE Game 7 5) "Bad cold going round... - Play every race 6) "Pandemic!" - Beat every race 7) "Just like we practiced" - Score a 1TTD 8) "Nosepicker" - Have a troll eat his own snot! 9) "Big smelly elf" - Score a Troll TD 10) "Bigger they are, the harder they fall" - Kill a Star Player 11) "Unsnottable!" - Win 2 games in a row - DONE game 6-7 12) "Last but Snot least" - Outcas an opponent in a match 13) "Time to be snotty" - Score a TD at all! - DONE Game 2 14) "Splat" - Kill a player with a Pump Wagon 15) "Snot cool" - Fungus Bomber kills ball carrier 16) "You shall snot pass!" - Get 10 Completion on a snot 17) "The wheels on the Pump Wagon go..." - Play 100 Games 18) "Hitch your Pump Wagon to a shooting star" - Win 100 Games 19) "Bogeyman" - Get a player to 500 Spp 20) "Snot Guilty by reason of Insanity" - Successfully Argue the Call - DONE Game 7 21) "Playing with the Big Boys" - Beat all stunty teams (Fling, Gobbo, Ogre) 22) "Grudge Match" - Beat a Dorf team 23) "Viva la Revolushun!!!" - Beat an Orc team 24) "Bogey Side" - Gain a shut out victory - DONE Game 7 25) "Just another dead stunty" - Kill a dwarf 26) "Usurper" - Sit on the Throne of Blood 27) "Snot Monster" - Gain a Legend (Any) 28) "Snot the hero we deserve" - Gain a Legend Snotling 29) "Snot possible!?" - Win a Minor 30) "The End Times are here..." Win a Major 31) "Giant Snots!" - Reach 2000 TV 32) "Playing with ourselves" - Beat another snotling team - DONE Game 9 33) "Snot fair" - Have an apo fail a dead player - DONE Game 2 34) "Goon" - have a snotling kill an opponent on a block - DONE Game 12 35) "Snot possible" - Sack a ball carrier with a -3d "Werr da best. Fink diffrent do ya? Come an' av a go den, ya runty little wimps!" PLAYERS Share some of your special, really good, really bad, awfully terrible players here... ORIGINALS PRIZE SNOTS Thank you to the following - Awarded for services to the Bogeys! 1) 2) 3)  Christer - Awarded for running this wonderful site!4) LEGENDS None... GOON SQUAD Any Snot that causes a kill on a block becomes a Goon. Skimmy Dankmush Sputum Boilbrain NAME LIST If you would like to add one please contact me. Pump Wagons: Death Mulcher Meat Grinder Cuddle Monster Flesh Mincer Blood Splatta Bone Cruncher Skull Cracker Body Breaker Splat Wagon Trolls: Warts Snoteater Farts Danksmell Sharts Fishgut Burk Wartyhide Lurk Pukefarts Zurk Foulbile Mucusbrain Sludgesucker Foulspew Snots: Smeggy Marshjuice Sputum Boilbrain Trashcar Daggerplague Skimmy Dankmusk Zip the Snotling Kryl Furburner Yyrl Hyrll Grool Sodmuncher Krud Scumbucket Bogi Dungbreath Snoti Snotson Grit Smelly Klobber Sticklegs Zend Sickstench Faq Earcleaner Jab Pipesblow Zit Scrotebag Pump Wagonguy Fungus Sporebottom Grubby Mushbrain Nabling Wartnose Snog Squiglover Stibnogg Bigmullet Teeny Tiny Tim Yuk Squelchmess Gaz Badgas Dork Pukestains Dimmy the Git Dex Twinkletoes Snort Pickleskin Naffy Snotbubble Grak Runnynose Lucky Grox Beatlebutt Splat Bigbones Grim Eyeprodder Spike Nailhard Nash Groinbiter Dunk Slimejuice Mush Spoilwart Grif Uberwally Fenk Sourbag Pip Snacksalt Konverz Wellgudshoe (sponsorship reasons) Splugert the Squishy "Yous is all weak scum that deserve ta get stomped." STAFF Coach and Owner - Bezer A former star linegnoblar for the Ogre team Smashmouth Allstarz. While there he created the Runt Punt technique and pioneered the Runt Punter positional which is now common across all Ogre sides. However, a bust leg forced him into early retirement and he was let go by the Allstarz. Knowing he wanted to go into coaching he tried everywhere to find work but due to him being a small gnoblar no one took him seriously and so he took it upon himself to find a team that would take him seriously! As such he traveled down to the Badlands, beat up some snots and formed the Bogeys. Bezer, and his famously big nose, back in his playing days before an injury forced him into coaching. Assistant Coach - Burk Lardarse A former Ogre Blocker who worked with Bezer at the Allstarz. Following an horrific injury he was forced to give up blood bowl and so followed the plucky gnoblar south when he was offered employment and became Bezer's enforcer of an assistant coach. He might not be able to compete against Ogres but he can still squash snots! Mascot - The Bogeyman A balloon with an angry face drawn on it is what Bezer used to take over the snotling tribe who feared its loud popping noise. They saw Bezer as a giant snotling who did not fear the Bogeyman and he taught them how to overcome it and so now it has become the team mascot and is held aloft every game. Fans also bring their own balloons and Da Bad Yeer Blimp is based on the Bogeyman. He is popped after a loss and is patched back together and filled with Snot 'gas'. Apothecary - Dokk Fixit Chief Engineer - Brum Madspanna Builder of Pump Wagons and unstable crowd stands... Cheerleaders - the Snot Squad Mooners The Snot Squad Mooners 'act' simply consists of running around drunk and nude, mooning everyone before streaking onto the pitch and getting splatted by an opposing blitzer and ending up as a literal streak on the turf. Runtherders Runtherders are former players who have retired and whom Bezer has seen worthy enough of not being fed to the squigs. They are instead given gainful employment. At the end of a match a huge horn is blown and 'runtherders' are sent out to capture fans. They round up those who have fallen unconscious in the melee to escape and those who have just had too much to drink. These unlucky snots are then press-ganged into joining the team as replacements for the poor sods they watched, and cheered, getting wiped out. Clean up crew Bezer has a hobby of collecting pet Squigs and so they are used as trash cans at the stadium and also act as disposers of injured and dead snotlings. Nosepickers Grub Chef - Max Hotpot  Bezer paid out big bucks for Max knowing that offering grub and alcohol would draw in the snotling crowds. Max makes do with what is around: corpses, squig manure, troll vomit, psychodelic shrooms and sometimes just plain normal dirt... Wizard - Volkbert Strub A disgraced wizard who in an attempt to flee justice irreversible turned himself into a frog. *GULP* UNIFORM Logo: Helmet: Uniform: Light Orange top, Rusty scrap armour, lime green shorts, white socks, Black 'Konverz Allstarz' sneakers STADIUM The Bogeys play at Snotsberry Farm. It is essentially nothing more than a poorly maintained muddy field in the middle of nowhere which was used as a dumping ground for numerous Orc tribes which Bezer bought with his life savings. There are two hastily constructed and wonky looking stands, made of Orc rubbish, at each side of the pitch which hold an insane amount of snotling fans on matchdays. Facilities are lacking but a sponsorship deal with the catering company NosePickers Grub means delicacies such as Squig burgers, Snotdogs, Troll Mucus Pie and Madcap Fungus Beer are all sold on site. Dung throwing and streaking continue to be a problem... When playing away the team and their fans form a convoy of Pump Wagons and assorted trailers reminiscent of Mad Max Fury Road! The convoy is miles long carrying thousands of snotlings to the opposing stadium with horns and drums blaring and unspeakable amounts of detritus left in its wake. Da Bad Yeer Blimp flies above Snotsberry Farm and has become synonymous with the Bogeys. TIMELINE 18 April 2520 - Team Founded April - August 2520 - Pre-Season recruitment, training, stadium and pump wagon building 29 August 2520 - Team Registered and NAF sanctioned 29 August 2520 - First game "Pump 'arder boyz and 'old on tight! Dis fing goes well fast! SQUISH SQUASH SQUISH!" FAMOUS MATCHES none... "I’z gonna smash anyfing wot gets in my way, nuffin kan stop me!" GRAVEYARD Empty.. But it will soon fill up! Number of dead snots: Number of retired: Pump Wagons turned to scrap: Opponents Killed: They swarmed like vermin... My head hurts. Where is my wallet? AND MY KIDNEY!?" HOW TO HELP These are things for the bio that I'm after, if you have any or make any I would appreciate it and you get a snot named after you :) I'm also open to suggestions on players names, fluff and storyline. * Any Snotling blood bowl artwork (Mooning, injured, doctor, inside ball etc) * Any Snotling player Icons (Snotling doctor, fouler, engineer runtherders a snotling inside a ball and if possible a couple of mooning snots and cheerleaders is needed!) * Gnoblar coach artwork and player icon (based on the 'look out gnoblar') * A drawing of the stadium/fans * Trophies and Awards icons (Wooden Spoon, Snot Cup) * Icons for a snotling wagon convoy with dust cloud behind * Diagram of uniform * Club logo as a circle badge * Anything else snotling related you fancy! "OI STOP EATIN' ALL DA LADZ! Snotz is bad fer yer tummy gutz..." *** Did you know... *** That the heaviest Snotling to play professional Blood Bowl was two-foot tall Sputum Boilbrain, who weighed in at an astonishing 115 lbs. He was also one of the worst ever Blood Bowl players as he was too heavy to be thrown far, too slow to be any use on his feet and too fat to live. He fainted the first time he ran to catch the ball while training, and is remembered as a “Stoopid, useless git.” *** That Zip the Snotling wanted to play Blood Bowl so much that he consented to be sewn inside a football. At an opportune moment Zip was hurled down the field by a troll. He pushed his legs free and scampered into the End Zone. Sadly the Touchdown was disallowed, it being ruled that a player must be holding the football, rather than being held in it, to score a touchdown. *** The famous "Bogeys!" chant of the Badland Bogeys involves each stand of the stadium shouting 'Bogeys' in turns and progressively getting louder each time until one stand faints and loses. Inspired by the snotling Ooligan Dikendom. *** The Bogeys run a sophisticated doping regime with every player having to give a urine test before a game. If the urine doesn't burn through the glass beaker the players are disciplined for not acting 'in the spirit of the game'. *** Coach Bezer has always been an outspoken opponent of WAR (Wizard Assistant Referee) which was brought in to stop last-turn fouling. The system itself allows for the Wizard Assistant Ref, through a crystal ball, to replay instances of the game and to assist the referee on the field in making correct calls. At a recent press conference Bezer said: "WAR? What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Why are we trying to stamp out what is a fundamental part of the game... the stamping part." As such WAR is not in operation at Snotsberry Farm Stadium and the Bogeys refuse to play if it is used... Pansy Elves should just learn to suck it up. *** The Badland Bogeys were the first ever Snotling team to be formed and they also played the first ever NAF sanctioned snotling game in history. *** Bio template by Balle2000. Helmet template by ArrestedDevelopment. Art by Knut_Rockie. Team Logo designed by Happy_Amateur |
New Team Page Beta
| Player | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Skills | Inj | G | Cp | Td | It | Cs | Mvp | SPP | Cost | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| 1 |
Pump Wagon
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4 | 5 | 1 | 9 | Dirty Player, Juggernaut, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Secret Weapon, Stand Firm Break Tackle |
6 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 9/16 | 130k
(110+20)k |
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| 2 |
Pump Wagon
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4 | 5 | 1 | 9 | Dirty Player, Juggernaut, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Secret Weapon, Stand Firm Break Tackle |
12 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 7/16 | 130k
(110+20)k |
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| 3 |
Troll
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4 | 5 | 1 | 9 | Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate |
2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 110k
(110+0)k |
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| 4 |
Troll
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4 | 5 | 1 | 9 | Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate Block, Guard, Break Tackle |
19 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 20 | 0 | 40/51 | 180k
(110+70)k |
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| 5 |
Fungus Flinga
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Bombardier, Dodge, Right Stuff, Secret Weapon, Side Step, Stunty Hail Mary Pass |
19 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 7/16 | 50k
(30+20)k |
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| 6 |
Fungus Flinga
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Bombardier, Dodge, Right Stuff, Secret Weapon, Side Step, Stunty Hail Mary Pass |
18 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 9/16 | 50k
(30+20)k |
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| 7 |
Fun-hoppa
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6 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Dodge, Leap, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Very Long Legs |
1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5/6 | 20k
(20+0)k |
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| 8 |
Fun-hoppa
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6 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Dodge, Leap, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Very Long Legs Diving Tackle |
17 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 8/16 | 40k
(20+20)k |
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| 9 |
Stilty Runna
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6 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Sprint, Stunty Diving Tackle, Block, Sure Feet |
19 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 2 | 3 | 34/51 | 90k
(20+70)k |
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| 10 |
Stilty Runna
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6 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Sprint, Stunty |
4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 5/6 | 20k
(20+0)k |
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| 11 |
Snotling
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Disposable, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Swarming, Titchy |
19 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 20k
(20+0)k |
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| 12 |
Snotling
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Disposable, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Swarming, Titchy Dirty Player |
4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 8/16 | 50k
(20+30)k |
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| 13 |
Snotling
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Disposable, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Swarming, Titchy Catch |
12 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 10/16 | 40k
(20+20)k |
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| 14 |
Snotling
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Disposable, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Swarming, Titchy |
18 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2/6 | 20k
(20+0)k |
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| 15 |
Snotling
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Disposable, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Swarming, Titchy Catch |
19 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 8/16 | 40k
(20+20)k |
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| 16 |
Snotling
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Disposable, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Swarming, Titchy |
7 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 20k
(20+0)k |
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| 17 |
Journeyman Snotling
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Disposable, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Swarming, Titchy Loner |
1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 20k
(20+0)k |
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| 18 |
Journeyman Snotling
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Disposable, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Swarming, Titchy Loner |
1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 20k
(20+0)k |
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| 19 |
Journeyman Snotling
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Disposable, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Swarming, Titchy Loner |
1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 20k
(20+0)k |
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| 20 |
Journeyman Snotling
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Disposable, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Swarming, Titchy Loner |
1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 20k
(20+0)k |
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| 21 |
Journeyman Snotling
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5 | 1 | 3 | 5 | Disposable, Dodge, Right Stuff, Side Step, Stunty, Swarming, Titchy Loner |
1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 20k
(20+0)k |
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| 16 players | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Games Played: | 19 (7/5/7) | | | TD Diff: | 1 (18 - 17) | | | Cas Diff: | -24 (34/15/3 - 59/14/3) |
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| Last Opponent: Flutie Flakes | |||||||