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Past Players of Um, G'Olden Go Fer Its!
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 15 | Temporary Placeholder | Blitzer | 2 | 0 | Block | d |
| 15 | Peter "Chemistry" Agre | Blitzer | 15 | 15 | Block, Fend, Guard | n, -st |
| 3 | Travis "MVP" Taylor | Catcher | 2 | 0 | Catch, Dodge | d |
| 8 | Nancy "Balbricker" Parsons | Human Lineman | 2 | 0 | d | |
| 2 | Sharon "Govenor" Sayles' Ghost | Catcher | 15 | 11 | Catch, Dodge, Wrestle | -pa, -av, -ma, m, d |
| 8 | Nancy "Balbricker" Parsons | Human Lineman | 3 | 0 | d | |
| 3 | Sharon "Governor" Sayle's Ghost | Catcher | 3 | 7 | Catch, Dodge, Kick | d |
| 3 | Sharon "Govenor" Sayles' Ghost | Catcher | 8 | 7 | Catch, Dodge, Pro, Dirty Player | m, d |
| 7 | Bob "Blowing" Dylan | Human Lineman | 6 | 0 | d | |
| 14 | Victor "Power" Pellot | Blitzer | 41 | 54 | Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Stand Firm | |
| 10 | Rocket "Rocky" the Flying Squirrel | Halfling Hopeful | 37 | 10 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Sprint, Sneaky Git | n, m, m |
| 13 | Bullwinkle J. Moose | Ogre | 38 | 105 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Loner, Throw Team-mate, Block, Guard, Pro, Stand Firm, Grab | m, -av, n, n |
| 4 | John "NBFL" Madden | Catcher | 30 | 22 | Catch, Dodge, Wrestle, Dauntless, Side Step | m |
| 16 | Todd Bouman | Thrower | 19 | 29 | Sure Hands, Pass, Kick, Wrestle, On the Ball, Leader | n |
| 15 | Fred "Nerf" Cox | Blitzer | 31 | 32 | Block, Dodge, Guard, Break Tackle | |
| 12 | Winona "Beetlejuice" Ryder | Blitzer | 18 | 8 | Block, Dodge, Guard | m, m |
| 11 | Gary "The Policeman" Larsen | Blitzer | 31 | 37 | Block, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut, Guard | d |
| 9 | Naawakamigookwe | Human Lineman | 30 | 3 | Wrestle | m, m, n |
| 8 | Ann "Was Here" Bancroft | Human Lineman | 18 | 2 | Wrestle | m, m |
| 7 | Bob "Blowing" Dylan | Human Lineman | 6 | 2 | Wrestle | d |
| 6 | "Coach" Herb Brooks | Human Lineman | 39 | 6 | Dirty Player | m |
| 5 | Lindsey "Downhill" Vonn's Ghost | Catcher | 20 | 84 | Catch, Dodge, +AG, Side Step, Block, +MA, Leap | |
| 2 | Sharon "Govenor" Sayles' Ghost | Catcher | 7 | 0 | Catch, Dodge | -av |