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Past Players of Trans-Fat Crisco Porky Diners
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 8 | Lorenzo Joesai | Human Lineman | 1 | 0 | ||
| 8 | Micah Neowyld | Blitzer | 1 | 0 | Block | d |
| 9 | Reid Chant | Human Lineman | 3 | 0 | ||
| 8 | Khloe Olath | Blitzer | 1 | 0 | Block | -ma |
| 7 | Brody Betsy | Ogre | 6 | 3 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Loner, Throw Team-mate, Brawler | m |
| 7 | Braxton Baxter | Ogre | 2 | 0 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Loner, Throw Team-mate | d |
| 11 | Ruth Nyota | Halfling Hopeful | 9 | 3 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Defensive | n, d |
| 7 | Jeremiah Brinn | Human Lineman | 3 | 0 | n, d | |
| 6 | Lindsey 'Downhill' Vonn's Ghost [UmGO] | Blitzer | 0 | 0 | Block | |
| 10 | Harrison Bari | Blitzer | 1 | 0 | Block | |
| 10 | Santiago Willa | Blitzer | 2 | 0 | Block | -ag, n |
| 10 | Kevin Wocca | Blitzer | 6 | 0 | Block | d |
| 12 | Melissa Malki | Human Lineman | 25 | 11 | Wrestle, Block | n, m, n |
| 11 | Conner Lanfear [EnM] | Halfling Hopeful | 15 | 30 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Dirty Player, Sneaky Git, Safe Pair of Hands | m, -pa, d |
| 12 | Melanie Douger | Human Lineman | 1 | 0 | ||
| 12 | Asher Xealen | Human Lineman | 1 | 0 | ||
| 5 | Eleanor Kalan | Blitzer | 4 | 0 | Block | |
| 12 | Ivy Willican | Catcher | 1 | 0 | Catch, Dodge | |
| 12 | Alexis Cruni | Human Lineman | 2 | 0 | ||
| 10 | Raegan Aerden | Blitzer | 12 | 5 | Block, Mighty Blow | -av |
| 5 | Chloe Juktar | Blitzer | 4 | 2 | Block | -pa, -ag |
| 12 | Ivan Ogardus | Human Lineman | 1 | 0 | ||
| 5 | Brynn Dermit | Thrower | 3 | 0 | Sure Hands, Pass | |
| 2 | Isaiah Tethran | Human Lineman | 32 | 25 | Wrestle, Pro, Strip Ball, Tackle | m, m, m, n, n, -st |
| 16 | Gabriela Jabbert | Human Lineman | 37 | 15 | Wrestle, Kick | m, m, -pa, m, -st |
| 12 | Gene Okerlund [UmGO] | Blitzer | 4 | 13 | Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Guard, Juggernaut | d |
| 9 | Fred Taylor [FU] | Blitzer | 36 | 64 | Block, Tackle, +ST, Pro, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut, Frenzy | d |
| 16 | Hailey Cobbman | Blitzer | 13 | 15 | Block, Guard, Dauntless | n |
| 13 | Martin Cobbder | Catcher | 50 | 21 | Catch, Dodge, Sneaky Git, Dirty Player, Pro | m, -pa, -av, n, n, -ag |
| 15 | Kerjon Arlen | Halfling Hopeful | 42 | 14 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Wrestle, +MA, Catch, Sprint | |
| 4 | Richard 'Dick' Bong | Catcher | 0 | 0 | Catch, Dodge | |
| 13 | Juan Cyrus | Catcher | 0 | 1 | Catch, Dodge, Diving Catch | |
| 12 | Jason Daikini | Human Lineman | 8 | 7 | Wrestle | m, -st |
| 11 | Leonardo Stadegrio | Human Lineman | 23 | 21 | Wrestle, Strip Ball, Block | -pa, n, m, -av, m |
| 10 | Karter Efnie | Blitzer | 19 | 24 | Block, Guard, Strip Ball, Grab, Multiple Block | -ag, d |
| 9 | Hudson Azimir | Blitzer | 12 | 12 | Block, Guard, Wrestle | m, m, -ag |
| 8 | Griffin Staban | Ogre | 43 | 22 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Loner, Throw Team-mate, Guard, Block, Stand Firm, Grab | m, m, n, d |
| 7 | Zane Faravinn | Human Lineman | 38 | 20 | Wrestle, Pro, Fend | m, n, m, m, n, d |
| 6 | Fred the Rock [KAMU] | Human Lineman | 39 | 21 | Guard, Mighty Blow, Grab, Block, Shadowing | -pa, n |
| 5 | Theodore Mene | Catcher | 14 | 13 | Catch, Dodge, Guard, Block, Kick | d |
| 4 | Sir William Marshall [UNAM] | Blitzer | 0 | 0 | Block, Mighty Blow, Dodge, Dauntless, Guard, Pro | -st |
| 2 | Justin Rogers [TCU] | Thrower | 14 | 20 | Sure Hands, Pass, Cannoneer, Cloud Burster, Hail Mary Pass, +AG, +PA, Strip Ball | -ma |