| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
9 | The producers of Gilligan's Island | Pygmy | 4 | 3 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
5 | Michael Jackson III | Eagle Warrior | 5 | 27 | Dodge, Leap, Right Stuff, Stunty, Dodge, Side Step | d |
7 | Tammy Fay V | Pygmy | 1 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
16 | Madonna IV | Pygmy | 7 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, n |
8 | Jimmy | Pygmy | 6 | 5 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
16 | Madonna III | Pygmy | 2 | 5 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
6 | Pee-Wee Herman II | Eagle Warrior | 4 | 11 | Dodge, Leap, Right Stuff, Stunty, Block | d |
10 | People who kick dogs III | Pygmy | 3 | 5 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -ag |
16 | Madonna II | Pygmy | 1 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -ma |
14 | Rush II | Pygmy | 3 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
15 | Yani | Pygmy | 13 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
14 | Rush | Pygmy | 3 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, n |
7 | Tammy Fay IV | Pygmy | 8 | 5 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -ma |
7 | Tammy Fay III | Pygmy | 1 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, n |
9 | Dr. Laura II | Pygmy | 9 | 10 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | d |
10 | Henry 8th | Pygmy | 4 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -st |
12 | Pee Wee Herman | Pygmy | 3 | 7 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | m, n |
15 | People who kick dogs II | Pygmy | 3 | 5 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -av |
13 | Oliver North II | Pygmy | 5 | 5 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
7 | Tammy Fay II | Pygmy | 2 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
8 | Mike Tyson | Pygmy | 9 | 5 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
9 | Dr. Laura | Pygmy | 2 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
10 | Tammy Fay | Pygmy | 2 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, n |
5 | Michael Jackson II | Eagle Warrior | 15 | 32 | Dodge, Leap, Right Stuff, Stunty, +AG, Block, Pass | n |
16 | Madonna | Pygmy | 8 | 2 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -ma |
12 | People who kick dogs | Pygmy | 6 | 7 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | n |
13 | Oliver North | Pygmy | 6 | 0 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
14 | Dick Cheney | Pygmy | 7 | 5 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
15 | Robert S. Miller | Pygmy | 5 | 11 | Shadowing, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | d |
6 | Pee-Wee Herman | Eagle Warrior | 11 | 41 | Dodge, Leap, Right Stuff, Stunty, +MA, Dodge, Side Step | m, n |
3 | Joan Crawford | Jaguar Warrior | 6 | 11 | Shadowing, Sprint, Claw, Right Stuff, Stunty, +MA | n |
5 | Michael Jackson | Eagle Warrior | 1 | 0 | Dodge, Leap, Right Stuff, Stunty | n |
1 | Bill Clinton | Kroxigor | 21 | 63 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Prehensile Tail, Bone-head, Loner, Block, Tackle, Multiple Block, +MA | m, n |