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Past Players of Secret Agent Cows
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | Son of Moo Doo the Witch Doctor | Chaos Halfling | 2 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 12 | Betsy Moo | Chaos Halfling | 1 | 3 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, n |
| 8 | Moo Doo the Witch Doctor | Chaos Halfling | 5 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -av |
| 10 | Barbie Q | Chaos Halfling | 2 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -av |
| 8 | Hunter O'beef | Chaos Halfling | 3 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -av |
| 11 | Taco Bel Grande | Chaos Halfling | 9 | 12 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | d |
| 13 | Black Angus | Chaos Halfling | 2 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 13 | Udder Madness | Chaos Halfling | 1 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 12 | Colonel Sanders | Chaos Halfling | 9 | 11 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | d |
| 13 | Moogarita | Chaos Halfling | 3 | 3 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 9 | Texas Pete | Chaos Halfling | 17 | 9 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | d |
| 12 | Fudd Ruckers | Chaos Halfling | 2 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -ag |
| 9 | Veal Cutlets | Chaos Halfling | 2 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, -av |
| 15 | Moo Man Cho | Chaos Halfling | 14 | 10 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | d |
| 14 | Robert Kabob | Chaos Halfling | 11 | 7 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 10 | Ronald McDonald | Chaos Halfling | 10 | 8 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, +ST | d |
| 7 | Omaha Steaks | Chaos Halfling | 5 | 5 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 7 | Big Mac | Chaos Halfling | 1 | 2 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 9 | Richard Rawhide | Chaos Halfling | 5 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, n |
| 10 | Chuck Roast | Chaos Halfling | 3 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, n |
| 15 | Meadow Grazing | Chaos Halfling | 8 | 2 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 11 | Henry Holstein | Chaos Halfling | 18 | 9 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | -av |
| 10 | Steer Tamer | Chaos Halfling | 5 | 11 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | m, -av |
| 9 | Chuck Wagon | Chaos Halfling | 5 | 5 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | -st, m |
| 7 | Bar B. Que | Chaos Halfling | 6 | 2 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, n |
| 15 | Biff Cutlets | Chaos Halfling | 4 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 14 | Chip Beef | Chaos Halfling | 12 | 21 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, +MA, Diving Tackle | d |
| 13 | Porter House | Chaos Halfling | 17 | 11 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | d |
| 12 | Agent Moo | Chaos Halfling | 18 | 23 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, +AG, Diving Tackle | d |
| 11 | Helmut Holstein | Chaos Halfling | 6 | 11 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle | d |
| 10 | Abacus Bouillon | Chaos Halfling | 4 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | n |
| 9 | Moo Jit Su | Chaos Halfling | 5 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 8 | Vienna Saucy | Chaos Halfling | 27 | 6 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, +ST | d |
| 7 | Max Suede | Chaos Halfling | 5 | 3 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, n |
| 6 | Sir Loin | Chaos Halfling | 32 | 26 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Block, Diving Tackle | -ma, d |
| 5 | Angus Black | Chaos Halfling | 21 | 16 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Diving Tackle, Side Step | -st, m, -av |
| 3 | Moo Ryker | Carver | 2 | 0 | Chainsaw, Dodge, Right Stuff, Secret Weapon | d |
| 2 | Filippe Mignon | Chaos Spawn | 9 | 10 | Frenzy, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Horns, Always Hungry, Loner, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate, Wild Animal, Block | d |
| 1 | Cudd | Chaos Spawn | 23 | 64 | Frenzy, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Horns, Always Hungry, Loner, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate, Wild Animal, Block, Claw, Tackle, Multiple Block | d |