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Past Players of Smashmouth Spankers
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Garry Go-Down | Black Orc Blocker | 2 | 0 | n | |
| 9 | Pasta Bolognese | Goblin | 12 | 5 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | n |
| 9 | Indy Always Injured | Lineman | 3 | 0 | d | |
| 7 | Useless Ursula | Black Orc Blocker | 7 | 3 | m, n | |
| 13 | Wanking Willie | Black Orc Blocker | 7 | 2 | n | |
| 3 | Barry Balldropper | Blitzer | 5 | 2 | Block | m, -av |
| 15 | Ridiculous Randy | Black Orc Blocker | 10 | 6 | Block | n |
| 16 | Third-string Thong | Thrower | 26 | 39 | Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate, Safe Throw, Dump Off | n |
| 1 | Smelly Simon | Black Orc Blocker | 34 | 31 | Dodge, Block, Stand Firm | n |
| 5 | Loser Lars | Blitzer | 18 | 24 | Block, Guard, Mighty Blow | -ma, m |
| 9 | Dog Fodder | Goblin | 18 | 12 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Side Step | d |
| 3 | Talentless Tracy | Blitzer | 18 | 42 | Block, Tackle, Mighty Blow, +AG | n |
| 11 | 579362 | Lineman | 50 | 47 | Block, Dodge, +AG | d |
| 12 | Stupid Simon | Black Orc Blocker | 30 | 25 | Block, Guard | -ma, d |
| 14 | Ugly Ursula | Black Orc Blocker | 28 | 47 | Block, Guard, Mighty Blow | m, n |
| 6 | Frank Fumble | Blitzer | 20 | 30 | Block, Mighty Blow, Guard | -ma, m, -ma |
| 9 | Ridiculous Richie | Lineman | 6 | 5 | -st | |
| 4 | Prince Pathetic | Blitzer | 35 | 42 | Block, +MA, Guard, Strip Ball | -ma |
| 7 | Troll fodder | Goblin | 15 | 5 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | -av, n, m, n |
| 13 | Backup Benny | Thrower | 34 | 84 | Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate, Safe Throw, Strong Arm, Block, Dump Off | n |
| 16 | Idiot Eli | Black Orc Blocker | 15 | 7 | Block | -av, n |
| 2 | Prince Pathetic | Blitzer | 9 | 32 | Block, Mighty Blow, Pro, Guard | m, n |
| 6 | Ridiculous Richie | Lineman | 12 | 6 | Dodge | d |
| 11 | Die Dennis | Goblin | 13 | 9 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Side Step | n, d |
| 10 | Flimsy Frank | Goblin | 9 | 3 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, -ma |
| 10 | Flimsy Frank | Goblin | 1 | 5 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 16 | Flying Flynn | Thrower | 5 | 1 | Pass, Sure Hands | n, m |
| 5 | Charming Charlie | Blitzer | 34 | 45 | Block, Mighty Blow, Guard, Tackle | m, n |
| 14 | Laughable Lawrence | Black Orc Blocker | 21 | 13 | Block | n |
| 7 | Ridiculous Richie | Lineman | 15 | 5 | d | |
| 7 | Ridiculous Richie | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 9 | Eatable Eric | Goblin | 16 | 3 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | n |
| 9 | Eatable Eric | Goblin | 5 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 9 | Eatable Eric | Goblin | 1 | 0 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | m, n |
| 4 | Miss Madass | Blitzer | 37 | 57 | Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, +ST, Frenzy | d |
| 8 | Handsome Hugh | Troll | 85 | 91 | Mighty Blow, Regenerate, Really Stupid, Throw Team Mate, Always Hungry, Big Guy, Piling On, +ST, Guard, Multiple Block, Break Tackle | n |
| 5 | Charming Charlie | Blitzer | 20 | 20 | Block, Guard, +MA | m, n |
| 14 | Eatable Eric | Goblin | 6 | 10 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Catch | m, n |
| 1 | Derek Dork | Thrower | 43 | 91 | Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate, Safe Throw, +MA, Block, Strong Arm | n, -st |
| 9 | Fast Frank | Goblin | 7 | 10 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 3 | Kill Me Karl | Blitzer | 58 | 127 | Block, +MA, Strip Ball, Mighty Blow, Guard, Shadowing, Pro | -ma, n |
| 1 | Whimpy Wendy | Thrower | 4 | 12 | Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate | n |
| 6 | Mister Excellent Hands | Blitzer | 38 | 44 | Block, +MA, Mighty Blow, Strip Ball | n, m, n |
| 12 | Handsome Hugh | Troll | 20 | 43 | Mighty Blow, Regenerate, Really Stupid, Throw Team Mate, Always Hungry, Big Guy, Piling On, Guard, Multiple Block | n |
| 11 | Snotty Sam | Goblin | 15 | 20 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, Catch, Leap | n |
| 3 | Idiot Elisha | Blitzer | 9 | 1 | Block | n |
| 16 | Sgt. Smelly | Black Orc Blocker | 46 | 34 | Block, Frenzy, Mighty Blow | n, d |
| 6 | Mister Fantastic Hands | Blitzer | 10 | 12 | Block, Catch | -av, d |
| 15 | Bone-Head Brian | Black Orc Blocker | 96 | 100 | Block, Guard, Mighty Blow, Pro, Tackle | n |
| 6 | Mister Brilliant Hands | Blitzer | 4 | 4 | Block | d |
| 14 | Laughable Larry | Lineman | 21 | 0 | ||
| 13 | Rapid Rocker | Goblin | 58 | 39 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff, +ST, Catch, Diving Tackle | d |
| 12 | Woopty-Wendy | Goblin | 10 | 3 | Dodge, Stunty, Right Stuff | d |
| 11 | Idiot Elisha | Lineman | 12 | 0 | ||
| 10 | Ugly Uncle Ben | Lineman | 26 | 13 | Block | d |
| 9 | Kill-Me Karl | Lineman | 22 | 3 | ||
| 8 | Moron Marty | Lineman | 36 | 15 | Block | |
| 7 | Ridiculous Richie | Lineman | 47 | 50 | +MA, +MA, Dodge | m, -ma |
| 6 | Stupid Sam | Lineman | 2 | 0 | d | |
| 5 | Harry Hail-Mary | Thrower | 29 | 68 | Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate, Strong Arm, Safe Throw, +MA | n, n |
| 4 | Grethe Get-Away | Blitzer | 38 | 25 | Block, Guard, Mighty Blow | n |
| 3 | Luny Larsen | Blitzer | 11 | 7 | Block, Guard | d |
| 2 | Fat Freddie | Black Orc Blocker | 62 | 33 | Block, +ST, Mighty Blow | n |
| 1 | Big Belly Benny | Black Orc Blocker | 24 | 17 | Block, Dodge | d |