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Past Players of Satan's School Socks
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | Joey Joe Joe | Chaos Warrior | 5 | 2 | d | |
| 9 | Steam Boat Itchie | Ogre | 5 | 4 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, Big Guy | d |
| 6 | James Bond | Chaos Warrior | 18 | 7 | Block | d |
| 5 | Lovejoy | Beastman | 13 | 5 | Horns | m, n |
| 15 | Jimbo | Beastman | 15 | 6 | Horns, Block | m, n |
| 5 | Auto | Beastman | 9 | 7 | Horns, Razor Sharp Claws | d |
| 15 | Snake | Beastman | 5 | 0 | Horns | d |
| 14 | Groundskeeper Willie | Beastman | 8 | 0 | Horns | m, n |
| 14 | Chief Wiggam | Beastman | 1 | 0 | Horns | d |
| 6 | Nelson Muntz | Ogre | 22 | 22 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, Big Guy, Block, Guard | m, n |
| 3 | Jimbo Jones | Beastman | 4 | 2 | Horns | d |
| 12 | Milhouse | Beastman | 12 | 4 | Horns | m, n |
| 7 | Yoda | Beastman | 1 | 0 | Horns | d |
| 9 | Jaffar | Chaos Warrior | 33 | 36 | Block, Mighty Blow, Break Tackle | -ag, n |
| 3 | Spotty | Beastman | 6 | 5 | Horns | d |
| 6 | Bananna Man | Beastman | 5 | 0 | Horns | -av |
| 11 | House | Chaos Warrior | 46 | 39 | Block, Guard, Mighty Blow | d |
| 10 | Truck | Chaos Warrior | 37 | 77 | Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Strip Ball, Pass Block | |
| 9 | Bus | Chaos Warrior | 2 | 0 | d | |
| 7 | Bobby | Beastman | 3 | 0 | Horns | -av, m |
| 6 | Hippy | Beastman | 1 | 0 | Horns | d |
| 5 | Cannon | Beastman | 20 | 10 | Horns, Claw | n, d |
| 4 | Bertie | Beastman | 15 | 19 | Horns, Block, Mighty Blow | d |
| 3 | Bulldog | Beastman | 2 | 0 | Horns | m, n |
| 2 | Balrog | Beastman | 36 | 58 | Horns, +AG, +MA, Block, Pro | n |
| 1 | Hawkeye | Beastman | 34 | 30 | Horns, Block, Mighty Blow | -av |