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Past Players of Pogonophobics United
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | Rasputin | Runner | 11 | 27 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, +AG, Block | n |
| 5 | Brian Blessed | Troll Slayer | 9 | 6 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Stand Firm | |
| 1 | Fidel Castro | Runner | 18 | 31 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, Block, Pass, +MA | m, -ag |
| 6 | Charles Darwin | Troll Slayer | 11 | 7 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Mighty Blow | d |
| 6 | Charles Darwin | Troll Slayer | 2 | 0 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy | d |
| 3 | Father Christmas | Blitzer | 18 | 16 | Block, Thick Skull, Strip Ball, Frenzy | |
| 11 | Richard Branson | Longbeard | 10 | 14 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard | d |
| 9 | Che Guevara | Longbeard | 18 | 6 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Stand Firm | d |
| 8 | Earnest Hemingway | Longbeard | 18 | 14 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard | d |
| 7 | Sigmund Freud | Longbeard | 36 | 74 | Block, Thick Skull, Tackle, Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm, Pro | |
| 6 | Vincent Van Gogh | Troll Slayer | 11 | 20 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Mighty Blow, Kick | m, -av |
| 4 | Confucius | Blitzer | 27 | 30 | Block, Thick Skull, Strip Ball, Tackle | |
| 3 | Abraham Lincoln | Blitzer | 8 | 4 | Block, Thick Skull | m, -st |
| 2 | Karl Marx | Runner | 18 | 45 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, +MA, Block, Pass | d |
| 5 | Brian Blessed | Troll Slayer | 17 | 30 | Block, Thick Skull, Dauntless, Frenzy, Stand Firm, Mighty Blow | m, -st |
| 1 | Fidel Castro | Runner | 16 | 36 | Sure Hands, Thick Skull, Dodge, Block, Pass | m, n |