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Past Players of Insert Stupid Name Here
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | Last Ditch | Lineman | 2 | 6 | d | |
| 3 | Meat | Catcher | 2 | 1 | Catch, Dodge | m, n |
| 6 | Jorge Getson | Lineman | 5 | 0 | m, n | |
| 3 | Goober | Blitzer | 3 | 3 | Block | m, n |
| 7 | Judas' Rabbi | Lineman | 4 | 3 | d | |
| 11 | Klotch | Ogre | 2 | 5 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone Head, Throw Team Mate, Big Guy | d |
| 15 | Warlookie | Lineman | 15 | 6 | +ST | n |
| 6 | Kid Rocko | Thrower | 12 | 23 | Pass, Sure Hands, Block, Accurate | d |
| 12 | Hands Malone | Catcher | 6 | 3 | Catch, Dodge | -av, -ma |
| 11 | Doogie | Lineman | 10 | 7 | Guard | d |
| 9 | Waaaaaaah! | Lineman | 16 | 8 | Guard | d |
| 7 | Crybaby | Lineman | 12 | 2 | n | |
| 8 | Squirt | Lineman | 16 | 8 | Dirty Player | n |
| 6 | Geek | Lineman | 4 | 3 | d | |
| 5 | "The Fumbler" | Thrower | 22 | 26 | Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate, Block | n |
| 4 | Benchwarmer Johnson | Blitzer | 17 | 12 | Block, +MA | m, n |
| 3 | Injured Guy | Blitzer | 16 | 10 | Block, Guard | n |