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Past Players of Un Topo!! HAAAAA!!
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 7 | Ma Che Voi? | Lineman | 5 | 5 | d | |
| 9 | Se Scatto Me Stiro | Gutter Runner | 7 | 22 | Dodge, Very Long Legs, Sprint | n |
| 16 | Cattivo? Chi? Io? III | Rat Ogre | 9 | 10 | Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Prehensile Tail, Big Guy, Wild Animal, Piling On | |
| 2 | Matusaichisòio? | Lineman | 6 | 1 | d | |
| 15 | Passampòstapalla III | Thrower | 12 | 32 | Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate, Block, Hail Mary Pass | |
| 14 | Faristoco II | Thrower | 18 | 37 | Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate, Block, Strong Arm | n |
| 7 | Malosaichisòio? | Lineman | 12 | 8 | Block | n, d |
| 1 | Certo Certo! | Gutter Runner | 15 | 56 | Dodge, Block, Catch, Diving Catch, Sure Feet | |
| 9 | Passampòstapalla II | Thrower | 4 | 10 | Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate | n |
| 13 | Spodicus II | Storm Vermin | 8 | 2 | Block | d |
| 1 | Faristocc | Rat Ogre | 3 | 2 | Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Prehensile Tail, Big Guy, Wild Animal | d |
| 12 | Paraliticus III | Storm Vermin | 25 | 13 | Block, Tackle | n |
| 2 | Pontecana II | Lineman | 17 | 12 | Block | d |
| 12 | Paraliticus II | Storm Vermin | 9 | 2 | Block | d |
| 1 | Cattivo? Chi? io? | Rat Ogre | 15 | 16 | Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Prehensile Tail, Big Guy, Wild Animal, Block, Piling On | n, n |
| 14 | Faristocco | Thrower | 23 | 32 | Pass, Sure Hands, Block, Strong Arm, Accurate | -ma, d |
| 13 | Spodico | Storm Vermin | 18 | 13 | Block, Tackle | n, d |
| 12 | Paraliticus | Storm Vermin | 7 | 2 | Block | d |
| 11 | Cori mpò pure tu! | Gutter Runner | 35 | 276 | Dodge, Block, +MA, Sprint, Sure Feet, Catch, Leap, Side Step | n, n, n |
| 10 | Cori Forest Cori! | Gutter Runner | 52 | 154 | Dodge, Block, Catch, Very Long Legs, Sure Feet, Sprint, Leap | -ma |
| 9 | Passampòstapalla | Thrower | 29 | 90 | Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate, Block, Strong Arm, Safe Throw, +MA | n, -ma, n |
| 8 | Noenuncetengo! | Lineman | 33 | 58 | Foul Appearance, Block, Strip Ball, Tackle | -av, n |
| 7 | Matusaichisoio? | Lineman | 28 | 14 | Block | -av, m, n |
| 6 | Hocus Topus | Lineman | 16 | 17 | Block, Kick | d |
| 5 | Ambè, Faristocco!! | Lineman | 12 | 21 | Block, Claw | d |
| 4 | Cell'hocotte! | Lineman | 32 | 24 | Block, Tackle | n, m, n |
| 3 | Conchill'hai? | Lineman | 47 | 53 | Foul Appearance, Block, Tackle, Strip Ball | d |
| 2 | Pontecana | Lineman | 14 | 16 | Foul Appearance | d |
| 1 | Cattivo? Chi? Io? | Rat Ogre | 9 | 24 | Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Prehensile Tail, Big Guy, Wild Animal, Block, Piling On | -av, m, n |