| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
7 | Glorious | Lineman | 7 | 0 | | n |
15 | The Queen | Lineman | 8 | 12 | Block | d |
8 | Dark Vador | Catcher | 3 | 0 | Catch, Dodge | d |
1 | Death Star | Wardancer | 15 | 26 | Leap, Block, Dodge, Tackle, Side Step | n |
4 | La Plume De Ma Tante | Thrower | 6 | 18 | Pass, Sure Hands, Accurate | d |
5 | Darth Vader and Penne Al Arrabiata | Treeman | 23 | 28 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Take Root, Throw Team Mate, Big Guy, Stand Firm, Block, Guard | d |
16 | Charlton Heston and a monkey with a gun | Catcher | 13 | 33 | Catch, Dodge, Sprint, Pass Block, Sure Feet | n |
15 | A Mass Murdering Fuckhead | Lineman | 13 | 2 | | n |
12 | Une Pauvre Casette | Catcher | 18 | 33 | Catch, Dodge, Sure Feet, Sprint, Nerves of Steel | -st, -ag |
5 | Mrs. Badcrumble | Lineman | 6 | 5 | | d |
11 | Granny Smith | Lineman | 42 | 35 | Block, Dauntless, Dodge | n |
10 | Frumpy Queens | Lineman | 27 | 10 | Block | d |
9 | The French | Lineman | 22 | 34 | Block, Dodge, Tackle | d |
8 | Sean Connery | Lineman | 12 | 5 | | d |
7 | Mr. Dog | Lineman | 31 | 29 | Block, Dodge | -ag, n, d |
6 | A Drilling Cat | Lineman | 20 | 10 | Block | d |
4 | Geoff Vader | Thrower | 26 | 53 | Pass, Accurate, Sure Hands, Dump Off, Block | n, d |
5 | Mrs. Badcrumble | Lineman | 3 | 0 | | d |
2 | God | Wardancer | 23 | 51 | Leap, Block, Dodge, Side Step, Tackle, +AG, Sprint | -ma, d |
1 | Jesus | Wardancer | 28 | 57 | Leap, Block, Dodge, +MA, Side Step, Tackle, Sprint | d |