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Past Players of Staches Are Cool
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 5 | Ramon | Catcher | 2 | 0 | Block, Catch | m, n |
| 4 | Luke | Blitzer | 10 | 29 | Block, Jump Up, Frenzy, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm | d |
| 4 | Cecil | Blitzer | 3 | 8 | Block, Jump Up, Frenzy, Mighty Blow | -st |
| 8 | Dude | Minotaur | 16 | 17 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Frenzy, Horns, Throw Team Mate, Always Hungry, Big Guy, Wild Animal, +AG, Break Tackle | n, m, n |
| 10 | Jimmy | Lineman | 16 | 5 | Block | n |
| 9 | Alfred | Lineman | 14 | 9 | Block, Dodge | d |
| 3 | Roger | Blitzer | 12 | 17 | Block, Jump Up, Frenzy, Stand Firm, Guard | d |
| 2 | Maurice | Blitzer | 12 | 11 | Block, Jump Up, Frenzy, Tackle | d |