| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
2 | The Man Who Contradicts People | Wardancer | 7 | 28 | Leap, Block, Dodge, Tackle, Strip Ball | -av, d |
8 | A Doctor Whose Patients Are Stabbed By His Nurse | Catcher | 18 | 65 | Catch, Dodge, Block, Side Step, Shadowing, Pass Block | m, n |
3 | A Naked Man | Wardancer | 4 | 1 | Leap, Block, Dodge | n |
3 | Mr. Neutron | Wardancer | 6 | 13 | Leap, Block, Dodge, Tackle | d |
7 | Inspector Flying Fox Of The Yard | Catcher | 45 | 126 | Catch, Dodge, Block, Side Step, Pass Block, Shadowing, Leap, Tackle | n |
6 | Mr. Attila The Hun | Catcher | 25 | 79 | Catch, Dodge, Dauntless, Block, Side Step, Multiple Block, Leap | n, n |
4 | A Man With A Tape Recorder Up His Brother's Nose | Thrower | 43 | 80 | Pass, Accurate, Safe Throw, +ST, Block, Tackle | -ag, d |
3 | The Man Who Finishes Other People's Sentences | Wardancer | 7 | 31 | Leap, Block, Dodge, +AG, Jump Up, +AG | n, m, -st |
7 | Seduced Milkman | Lineman | 1 | 0 | | d |
8 | Homicidal Barber | Lineman | 24 | 3 | | d |
11 | Bicycle Repair Man | Lineman | 33 | 43 | Block, Dodge, Side Step | n, d |
10 | A Man With Two Noses | Lineman | 32 | 44 | Dodge, Block, +MA | d |
13 | Arthur 'Two-Sheds' Jackson | Lineman | 51 | 47 | Guard, Block, Side Step | d |
15 | Mr. Smoke-Too-Much | Lineman | 22 | 12 | Block | d |
16 | The Man Who Speaks In Anagrams | Lineman | 48 | 41 | Guard, Leader, Block | m, -st |
2 | The Man Who Makes People Laugh Uncontrollably | Wardancer | 33 | 76 | Leap, Block, Dodge, Tackle, Strip Ball, +MA, +MA, Side Step | -ag, -ma |