Past Players of Hair Ball Express
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
17 | David Clumsystone | Lineman | 1 | 0 | | d |
3 | Speedy Gonzrattez | Gutter Runner | 1 | 8 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger | d |
18 | Ulric Vilewing | Lineman | 1 | 0 | | d |
6 | Osmond Deepfield | Lineman | 5 | 7 | Block | d |
3 | Gutter Crap | Gutter Runner | 5 | 18 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger, Sure Feet | d |
2 | Sylvester Clearstone | Lineman | 9 | 10 | Wrestle | m, m, d |
1 | Speedy Gonzratez | Gutter Runner | 6 | 3 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger | m, n |
13 | Fwower Fwank | Thrower | 7 | 9 | Sure Hands, Pass, Dump-Off | d |
3 | Lenny | Gutter Runner | 8 | 8 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger, Block | -ag |
14 | Steeeviee | Blitzer | 9 | 9 | Block, Tackle | -ma, d |
13 | Chelseee | Thrower | 6 | 12 | Sure Hands, Pass, Dump-Off | d |
11 | Run Ratty Run | Gutter Runner | 1 | 3 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger | d |
10 | Willie | Lineman | 10 | 3 | | -ma, -ma, m |
9 | Bob | Lineman | 21 | 21 | Block, Kick | -ma, d |
8 | Norman | Lineman | 14 | 16 | Block, Tackle | m, d |
6 | Reg | Lineman | 14 | 21 | Block, Tackle | m, -av, d |
5 | Lenny | Lineman | 3 | 0 | | -av |
3 | Rat Runner | Gutter Runner | 7 | 27 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger, +AG, +MA | d |
2 | Runner Rodent | Gutter Runner | 16 | 27 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger, Side Step, +MA | -ma, -ma |
1 | Speedy Gonzratez | Gutter Runner | 12 | 6 | Dodge, Weeping Dagger, Side Step | m, m, n, m |