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Past Players of Masters of Irony
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 17 | Ulric Grottyspike | Lineman | 1 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | d |
| 8 | Stephen Colbert | Lineman | 2 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | m, d |
| 3 | Bill Cosby | Blitzer | 3 | 12 | Diving Tackle, Jump Up, Leap, Very Long Legs, Block | d |
| 9 | Chong | Lineman | 3 | 5 | Leap, Very Long Legs | m, -av |
| 8 | Cheech | Lineman | 4 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | -ma |
| 8 | Cheech | Lineman | 10 | 12 | Leap, Very Long Legs, Wrestle | d |
| 9 | Chong | Lineman | 12 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | -av |
| 8 | Cheech | Lineman | 2 | 0 | Leap, Very Long Legs | d |
| 7 | Billy Crystal | Lineman | 12 | 5 | Leap, Very Long Legs | -ma, m, m, m |
| 6 | Alan King | Lineman | 17 | 16 | Leap, Very Long Legs, Wrestle, Strip Ball | d |
| 3 | Bill Cosby | Blitzer | 16 | 6 | Diving Tackle, Jump Up, Leap, Very Long Legs, +MA | d |
| 2 | Albert Brooks | Blitzer | 10 | 15 | Diving Tackle, Jump Up, Leap, Very Long Legs, Block | m, d |