| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries |
14 | Your twin brother that died and you never speak off | Thrower | 2 | 14 | Sure Hands, Pass, Strong Arm | |
7 | Grandma's Zombie Goast | Ogre | 5 | 53 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone-head, Loner, Throw Team-Mate, Guard, Grab, Break Tackle, Stand Firm | |
14 | Your twin brother that died and you never speak off | Thrower | 2 | 16 | Sure Hands, Pass, Accurate, Block | |
7 | The ever-looming Presence of your dead Grandmother | Ogre | 5 | 53 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone-head, Loner, Throw Team-Mate, Guard, Grab, Break Tackle, Stand Firm | |
11 | Your Pedophile Pastor | Lineman | 15 | 31 | Dirty Player, Wrestle, +AG | |
9 | Cross Dressing Stepdad | Lineman | 2 | 2 | | d |
10 | PTSD Suffering Uncle | Lineman | 20 | 35 | Kick, Wrestle, Strip Ball | |
8 | Casually Bigot Grandfather | Lineman | 6 | 17 | Guard, Wrestle | d |
8 | Casually Bigot Grandfather | Thrower | 0 | 0 | Sure Hands, Pass | |
8 | Your canadian girlfriend | Lineman | 1 | 7 | Block | |
10 | Grandma's Ghost | Lineman | 6 | 18 | Wrestle, Strip Ball | |
8 | Your canadian girlfriend | Lineman | 1 | 6 | Block | |
10 | Grandma's Ghost | Lineman | 1 | 6 | Block | |
8 | Your canadian girlfriend | Lineman | 1 | 6 | Block | |
8 | Grandma's Ghost | Lineman | 2 | 17 | Block, Tackle | |
10 | Your canadian girlfriend | Lineman | 3 | 16 | Block, Tackle | |
9 | The best Friend that you arent allowed to play with anymore | Catcher | 14 | 44 | Catch, Dodge, +AG, Block, Leap | d |
8 | Grandma's Ghost | Lineman | 4 | 17 | Block, Strip Ball | |
1 | Uncle you liked but is in jail now | Ogre | 1 | 6 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone-head, Loner, Throw Team-Mate, Guard | |
10 | The best Friend that you arent allowed to play with anymore | Catcher | 7 | 32 | Catch, Dodge, +MA, Wrestle, Sprint | |
9 | Grandma's Ghost | Lineman | 7 | 16 | Wrestle, Strip Ball | |
1 | That uncle you actually like | Ogre | 9 | 17 | Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Bone-head, Loner, Throw Team-Mate, Guard, +AG | |
11 | Casually Bigot Grandfather | Lineman | 21 | 33 | Kick, Block, +MA | |
10 | Teenage Pregnant Sister | Lineman | 4 | 0 | | d |
9 | Super Senile Grandmother | Lineman | 4 | 0 | | d |
4 | That cousin you admired but ended up in jail | Blitzer | 4 | 5 | Block | -av |
8 | That aunt that molested you at grandma's birthday | Lineman | 10 | 18 | Wrestle, Strip Ball | |
6 | Younger Brother who is locked in the basement | Catcher | 24 | 37 | Catch, Dodge, +MA, +MA, Block | d |
7 | Your twin brother that died and you never speak off | Thrower | 31 | 81 | Sure Hands, Pass, Accurate, Strong Arm, Leader, Block, Safe Throw | -av |