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Past Players of Four Minutes of Your Life
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Screw you and your fancy hat | Wight Blitzer | 5 | 19 | Block, Regeneration, +AG, +MA | -ag |
| 3 | Snoogy Boogums | Mummy | 10 | 20 | Mighty Blow, Regeneration, Grab, Break Tackle | d |
| 1 | Robert Hotwing | Zombie | 9 | 10 | Regeneration, Dirty Player | d |
| 6 | Filetón | Zombie | 1 | 0 | Regeneration | |
| 13 | Fonzie | Zombie | 21 | 20 | Regeneration, Dirty Player, Wrestle | n, m, d |
| 5 | Slompy | Mummy | 6 | 12 | Mighty Blow, Regeneration, Guard | d |
| 6 | Nah gimme gimme gimme | Wight Blitzer | 11 | 14 | Block, Regeneration, Mighty Blow | d |
| 3 | In your face | Ghoul Runner | 15 | 37 | Dodge, Block, Sure Hands, Side Step | d |
| 4 | Barbie | Zombie | 24 | 10 | Regeneration, Guard | d |
| 14 | Kurt Darkblade | Zombie | 40 | 18 | Regeneration, Dirty Player, Wrestle | -av |
| 6 | Mr Spanky | Zombie | 4 | 0 | Regeneration | |
| 13 | Oranje Nassau III | Zombie | 16 | 18 | Regeneration, Guard, Block | -ma, d |
| 6 | BottomThrottler | Zombie | 5 | 0 | Regeneration | m, n |
| 5 | Stink Fat Apple | Mummy | 22 | 38 | Mighty Blow, Regeneration, Juggernaut, Guard, Grab | d |
| 4 | PooOG | Zombie | 15 | 0 | Regeneration | d |
| 11 | Muoro | Zombie | 16 | 2 | Regeneration | m, d |
| 15 | Ernst von Stetten | Zombie | 26 | 9 | Regeneration, Wrestle | d |
| 8 | Rowan Atkinson V | Zombie | 15 | 7 | Regeneration, Dirty Player | d |
| 14 | Chalking up wins | Skeleton | 9 | 0 | Thick Skull, Regeneration | |
| 12 | Adding up numbers | Mummy | 2 | 0 | Mighty Blow, Regeneration | |
| 8 | McGrew | Zombie | 1 | 0 | Regeneration | m |
| 14 | Nibbling Nobs | Skeleton | 3 | 0 | Thick Skull, Regeneration | n |
| 1 | Smoking sausages! | Wight Blitzer | 47 | 131 | Block, Regeneration, Dodge, Sure Hands, Tackle, Mighty Blow, Guard | m, r |
| 15 | Toughening leather | Zombie | 16 | 2 | Regeneration | -av |
| 15 | Tracing lines | Skeleton | 4 | 0 | Thick Skull, Regeneration | -ma |
| 14 | Nailing nails | Skeleton | 13 | 7 | Thick Skull, Regeneration, Shadowing | m, m, n |
| 13 | Untying shoelaces | Skeleton | 26 | 19 | Thick Skull, Regeneration, Dirty Player, Wrestle | |
| 12 | Chopping carrots | Skeleton | 18 | 3 | Thick Skull, Regeneration | -ag |
| 11 | Asking for water | Skeleton | 23 | 21 | Thick Skull, Regeneration, Dirty Player, Wrestle | m, d |
| 10 | Sighing heavily | Skeleton | 25 | 7 | Thick Skull, Regeneration, Dirty Player | m, m |
| 9 | Imagining clouds | Skeleton | 25 | 9 | Thick Skull, Regeneration, Dirty Player | m, m |
| 8 | Nailing wood | Skeleton | 18 | 17 | Thick Skull, Regeneration, Dirty Player, Kick | d |
| 7 | Angling for fish | Skeleton | 25 | 21 | Thick Skull, Regeneration, Dirty Player, Kick | -ma, d |
| 6 | Milking a cow | Skeleton | 27 | 12 | Thick Skull, Regeneration, Dirty Player | |
| 5 | Lighting a fire | Skeleton | 26 | 9 | Thick Skull, Regeneration, Sneaky Git | |
| 4 | Leaving town | Skeleton | 26 | 17 | Thick Skull, Regeneration, Dirty Player, Wrestle | |
| 3 | Assisting in theatre | Wight Blitzer | 44 | 136 | Block, Regeneration, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut, Jump Up, Tackle, +MA | d |
| 2 | Making lunch | Mummy | 55 | 105 | Mighty Blow, Regeneration, Block, Juggernaut, Guard, Break Tackle, Dodge | m, n, r |
| 1 | Smoking | Mummy | 7 | 0 | Mighty Blow, Regeneration | m, -ma |