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Past Players of Tots 'n' Ham Hotspur
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 12 | Christian Erikson | Bonobo | 3 | 2 | Extra Arms | m, n |
| 8 | Danny Rose | Bonobo | 6 | 6 | Extra Arms, Block | n |
| 9 | Gary Lineker | Bonobo | 8 | 3 | Extra Arms | d |
| 8 | Glen Hoddle | Bonobo | 5 | 1 | Extra Arms | -ma |
| 16 | Ossie Ardiles | Bonobo | 5 | 5 | Extra Arms | d |
| 12 | Danny Rose | Bonobo | 10 | 3 | Extra Arms | -ma, m |
| 16 | Kyle Walker | Bonobo | 3 | 6 | Extra Arms, +AG | n |
| 16 | Mousa Dembele | Bonobo | 2 | 0 | Extra Arms | |
| 7 | David Ginola | Chimpanzee | 9 | 5 | Wrestle, Extra Arms | -ag |
| 15 | Christian Erikson | Bonobo | 27 | 5 | Extra Arms | -ma |
| 12 | Nayim | Bonobo | 15 | 4 | Extra Arms | d |
| 15 | Christian Erikson | Bonobo | 9 | 7 | Extra Arms, Kick | n |
| 5 | Jimmy Greaves | Gorilla | 32 | 37 | Grab, Extra Arms, Mighty Blow, Guard, Dodge | n, m, d |
| 9 | David Ginola | Chimpanzee | 18 | 21 | Wrestle, Extra Arms, Dodge, Side Step | m, -av |
| 4 | Gareth Bale | Gorilla | 25 | 36 | Grab, Extra Arms, Mighty Blow, Guard, Side Step | m, d |
| 6 | Dave Mackay | Gorilla | 21 | 38 | Grab, Extra Arms, Mighty Blow, Guard, Stand Firm | -av |
| 8 | Glen Hoddle | Bonobo | 40 | 27 | Extra Arms, Dirty Player, Wrestle | -ma, d |
| 7 | Ossie Ardiles | Bonobo | 19 | 32 | Extra Arms, Kick, Wrestle, Tackle | m, n |
| 11 | Paul Gascoigne | Bonobo | 32 | 27 | Extra Arms, Mighty Blow, Block | m, m, m, -av |
| 12 | Pat Jennings | Bonobo | 14 | 1 | Extra Arms | d |
| 15 | Christian Erikson | Bonobo | 20 | 1 | Extra Arms | m, m, d |
| 16 | Gary Mabbut | Bonobo | 32 | 6 | Extra Arms, Dirty Player | -ma, -ag, d |
| 6 | David Ginola | Chimpanzee | 7 | 26 | Wrestle, Extra Arms, Dodge, +AG | d |
| 5 | Jimmy Greaves | Gorilla | 15 | 22 | Grab, Extra Arms, Mighty Blow, Guard | m, -st |
| 4 | Gareth Bale | Gorilla | 13 | 13 | Grab, Extra Arms, Mighty Blow | d |
| 3 | Hugo Lloris | Gorilla | 39 | 41 | Grab, Extra Arms, Mighty Blow, Guard, Stand Firm | m, d |
| 2 | Dave Mackay | Gorilla | 5 | 0 | Grab, Extra Arms | -ag, m, d |