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Past Players of If he dies he dies
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 14 | Llewlyn Bowen | Goblin | 3 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | -av |
| 5 | Donald Trump | Goblin | 10 | 14 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Block | d |
| 16 | Made in Chelsea | Goblin | 15 | 9 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step | m, n |
| 14 | Llewlyn Bowen | Goblin | 1 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | -av |
| 13 | Gok Wan | Goblin | 4 | 3 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | d |
| 12 | Loose Women | Goblin | 9 | 15 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step | -ag |
| 9 | Kerry Katona | Goblin | 14 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, d |
| 8 | Simon Cowell | Goblin | 5 | 16 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Side Step, Diving Tackle | |
| 7 | Pippa Middleton | Goblin | 4 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | -ag |
| 6 | Jedward | Goblin | 5 | 0 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty | m, d |
| 2 | Jeremy Clarkson | Troll | 3 | 6 | Mighty Blow, Always Hungry, Loner, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate | d |
| 1 | Piers Morgan | Troll | 14 | 15 | Mighty Blow, Always Hungry, Loner, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate, Guard | -st |