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Past Players of Darn Dank Darkies
| Player | Position | Games | SPPs | Skills | Injuries | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 17 | Vincent Strongsnake | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 20 | Sylvester Dirtyrock | Lineman | 1 | 0 | d | |
| 12 | Terrible Toro the Third | Lineman | 3 | 4 | -av | |
| 12 | Terrible Toro | Lineman | 3 | 2 | d | |
| 10 | Misinformed Max | Lineman | 6 | 11 | Kick | n |
| 11 | Notorious Norbert | Runner | 7 | 10 | Dump-Off, Dodge | d |
| 9 | Leeway Laura | Witch Elf | 16 | 35 | Frenzy, Dodge, Jump Up, Juggernaut, Mighty Blow, Juggernaut | m, m |
| 6 | Cruel Cario | Lineman | 13 | 6 | Guard | -ag |
| 2 | Silly Sage | Blitzer | 1 | 2 | Block | n |
| 11 | Nasty Norbert | Runner | 11 | 36 | Dump-Off, +MA, Dodge, +MA | d |
| 10 | Misinformed Mal | Lineman | 11 | 8 | Dodge | -ma |
| 9 | Leeway Lanius | Lineman | 3 | 0 | d | |
| 6 | Ignorant Ignazius | Lineman | 5 | 2 | n | |
| 4 | Gruesome Gunter | Blitzer | 22 | 51 | Block, Dodge, Side Step, Diving Tackle, Tackle | m, m, -av |
| 2 | Excentric Eduard | Blitzer | 1 | 0 | Block | d |
| 1 | Dumb Dagobert | Blitzer | 20 | 21 | Block, Dodge, Side Step | d |