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This is a training team, mostly for 145ers. It is limited to 1 tomb guardian, to simulate a 'default team' that can execute all the basic strategies (caging, screening, bashing) reasonably, but none of the fancy stuff.


Location: Morkport
Nickname: The boring shits
Rivals: Shamoozle Kaboos


ORIGINS

When Duchess Mushka had her takeover bid for the Downtown Demolishers rejected, she conspired to have the team poisoned and subsequently raised. Ended up being far cheaper this way too*. After a name change to sound Khemrian, and a lick of paint on the kit, even their regular league opponents haven't recognised them. After all, teams disappear all the time don't they?

Hoping to encourage her children to do something healthy like playing blood bowl for once, instead of just listening to all these town square squawkers that have been popping up lately, Mushka named all players after the names she remembered her precious little ones continually babble about.

* At least the upfront cost, you have no idea how much Bloodweiser the players drink now they don't have a liver to manage.
ROMANCE

Allow me to present to you BloodBowl's greatest (and likely only) love story.**
There was once a norse player called Vlad who was deeply in love with the Amazon Nikita. However their love was forbidden and they had to keep it a secret. This double life caused great strain so they hatched a plan to be together... As skeletons! No one would recognise them then. Unfortunately the necromancer who raised them took their wish of 'being together forever' too literally and he raised them as two skeletons, each part Vlad, part Nikita. This was super awkward for them and the two skeletons split up to find a cure to split them up. Vlad and Nikita returned to BB to save up while Nikita and Vlad set off in search of a cure.

But tragedy struck. In a game against the Shamoozle Kaboos, Badabun the so called 'throwa' missed a troll with an exploding rune and injured Vlad and Nikita. Duchess Mushka told the staff to 'retire' the skeleton, meaning find them a cushy caretaker role. Again a misunderstanding necromancer blighted their life, as they understood retire as 'dispose of'. She used their body as a vessel for her master project - building a golem. Thus poor Vladenstein and Nikitaenstein was born/created. A terrible beast who only wishes to inflict misery on others. Makes a great BB player though, so Duchess Mushka is happy.
Things we've killed that had a back story (bio)


It feels a bit wrong to be taking credit for killing Sir Moonsky. Frankly I'm surprised he survived this far into life. The guy had no awareness or reactions or anything. If Undying Glory hadn't done it, he'd likely have been run over.


Fortunately for Dick, he believed in reincarnation. Unfortunately for dick, he's come back as an even stranger ... being?

WANTED
Wanted: Malformed
Crime: That time when he nearly pitch cl... well we don't talk about it
Reward: Recruited for the cause


Wanted: Dead, not alive
Crime: Killing multiple Undying Glory players
Reward: Ice cream


Wanted: Badly hurt, but not too injured that he will quit blood bowl.
Crime: None, he's never actually done anything other than help us win, its just fun.
Reward: You'll see what I mean

HALL OF FAME


Not only does Vladenstein and Nikitaenstein scare the opponents, but he intimidates the MVP judges too. After receiving 6 MVPs in their first 7 games, despite negligible match achievements, the MVP judges have had to be replaced with a random number generator. For fairness.


Despite being a well know speciesist, star player PewDiePie has amassed a large following, following his success in repeatedly injuring Milligan the Easter. PewDiePie has put him in the dugout more times than he's eaten hot dinners. Milligan that is, PewDiePie doesn't eat hot dinners, because he's sponsored by Huel.


Shoutout to these skelletons. Considering that I most play vs orcs, and they mostly get punched all game long by BOBs, the fact that they've reported for work in every team game is fairly special. But on the other hand, they're sitting there with 0 SPP, and all the new comers have overtaken them in actual achievements.
*** Did you know...

Rumour has it star player PewDiePie has been known to... ah I can see you've heard it before.

They featured in an article in the guardian, which was rather critical of their existance 'F***ing boring garbage men that suck and know it'

Despite being unable to average even as little as one touchdown every game*, they annihilated the Elves from Squangle Land 3 - 0. It was later discovered that the elves were actually stolen property from a supermarket cart park, which went someway to explaining their 'dodging'.

*Undying Glory typically prefer to report their mode or median score per match, which clocks in at one, no rounding up required.

Bio template by Balle2000. Helmet templates by Thom_Darkness.

New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Anointed Blitzer
6 3 2 8
Block, Regeneration
Guard, Mighty Blow, Dodge, Stand Firm
  26 0 2 0 13 4 52/76 180k
(90+90)k
 
2
Anointed Blitzer
6 3 2 8
Block, Regeneration
Guard, Mighty Blow, Tackle
  26 0 1 0 5 6 43/51 150k
(90+60)k
 
3
Anointed Thrower
6 3 2 7
Pass, Regeneration, Sure Hands
Block, Tackle, Kick
  25 1 5 0 4 2 34/51 130k
(70+60)k
 
4
Anointed Thrower
6 3 3 7
Pass, Regeneration, Sure Hands
Leader, Block, +AG
  26 2 12 0 1 2 50/51 150k
(70+80)k
 
5
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
  26 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 40k
(40+0)k
 
6
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
Guard, Block
  24 0 1 0 2 2 17/31 90k
(40+50)k
 
7
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
Block
  17 0 0 0 1 1 7/16 60k
(40+20)k
 
8
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
Block
  25 0 1 0 1 1 10/16 60k
(40+20)k
 
9
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 1 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
Dirty Player
-ag 13 0 0 0 1 1 7/16 60k
(40+20)k
 
10
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
  13 0 0 0 2 0 4/6 40k
(40+0)k
 
11
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
  26 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 40k
(40+0)k
 
12
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
Block
  10 0 0 0 2 1 9/16 60k
(40+20)k
 
13
Skeleton Lineman
5 3 2 7
Regeneration, Thick Skull
  7 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 40k
(40+0)k
 
14
Tomb Guardian
4 5 1 9
Decay, Regeneration
Guard, Mighty Blow, Stand Firm
  18 0 1 0 5 6 43/51 160k
(100+60)k
 
14 players  
Coach: Muff2n Re-Rolls (140k): 3  
Race: Tomb Kings Fan Factor: 9  
Current Team Value: 1560k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 250k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1560k Apothecary: No  

Games Played:26 (9/9/8) |TD Diff:2 (23 - 21) |Cas Diff:-6 (26/15/6 - 25/17/11)
Last Opponent: Shamoozle Kaboos

  For   Against  
Opponent Race TV SPP Cas Gold Score TV SPP Cas Gold Gate
Shamoozle KaboosOrc1000k91/0/050k1 - 0990k70/0/170k13k
Shamoozle KaboosOrc970k100/1/030k1 - 11090k110/0/140k16k
Shamoozle KaboosOrc860k110/0/040k2 - 21050k110/0/030k22k
Shamoozle KaboosOrc870k50/0/040k0 - 11170k121/0/140k15k
Hand-Picked ChosenChaos Chosen950k70/0/120k0 - 01000k111/3/060k14k
Manchester ManglerzOrc900k71/0/030k0 - 21220k151/0/160k27k
Manchester ManglerzOrc950k101/0/040k1 - 01210k102/0/040k29k
Shamoozle KaboosOrc980k111/2/030k1 - 11250k162/1/150k19k
La Maison BorniolNecromantic Horror970k140/1/230k1 - 21200k161/1/050k22k
Shamoozle KaboosOrc980k122/0/050k1 - 01170k51/0/050k19k
Shamoozle KaboosOrc1050k120/2/060k1 - 01300k112/0/140k26k
Shamoozle KaboosOrc1130k80/0/020k1 - 21320k254/2/140k21k
Moon Hater Chimp GloonsShambling Undead1090k50/1/050k0 - 01160k60/0/060k13k
Elves from Squangle LandHigh Elf1100k92/0/070k0 - 0990k80/0/060k20k
Elves from Squangle LandHigh Elf1110k223/1/060k3 - 01150k50/0/010k27k
Shamoozle KaboosOrc1140k50/0/050k0 - 11460k162/2/170k26k
Elves from Squangle LandHigh Elf1200k100/1/030k1 - 11230k90/0/020k22k
Elves from Squangle LandHigh Elf1230k141/3/250k1 - 11260k90/0/040k23k
TeaNBisgitzOgre1300k113/0/030k0 - 01410k174/1/120k29k
Burty boisOrc1290k172/1/060k2 - 11370k111/0/060k20k
Red Road RukkusChaos Renegade1400k122/0/060k1 - 01230k101/0/130k25k
Shamoozle KaboosOrc1430k50/0/070k0 - 21510k190/4/050k27k
Elves from Squangle LandHigh Elf1370k152/0/140k1 - 21300k171/1/050k28k
County Science FairGoblin1310k254/2/060k3 - 11390k80/0/050k25k
Shamoozle KaboosOrc1510k80/0/060k1 - 01560k111/2/060k32k
Shamoozle KaboosOrc1510k71/0/040k0 - 11570k110/0/150k26k