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Imagine your ideal workplace...

Do you receive a good salary? Is it free from physical, verbal, and sexual harassment? Do you have a nice chunk of paid vacation days as well as paid sick days? DO you enjoy what you do? Is it free of monotony and repetitive menial tasks?

Is your boss kind and understanding? Do you like your coworkers, heck, are you friends with your coworkers OUTSIDE of work? On that note, do you have a life outside of work? IS any overtime you do both optional and compensated at a higher rate?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you've clearly never worked for UPS. DO you know what UPS stands for? WRONG. You fool, of course you don't. You said United Parcel Service didn't you. Incorrect you ignorant troglodyte. It stands for Unpaid Postage Slavers. IT isn't a company, but a forced labour camp operating in the shadows. It's a front for the Illuminati and part of their first steps toward their goal of creating a New World Order. The (unpaid, forced) labourers who work for it receive no pay, no benefits, and no days off. They're worked to their deaths. How does one get "recruited" I hear you ask. Easy, all you have to do is speak out against the Illuminati, make jokes about the Illuminati, go against their plans for the NWO (knowingly or otherwise), or be black.

After years of working for UPS (Unpaid Postal Slavers) these deliverymen have finally had enough! No more letters and packages for this lot, they've decided to expediently deliver knives to throats and backs instead! Unfortunately for the average citizens, year of brainwashing coupled with (literal) soul draining forced labour has robbed these men of their wits and are now essentially mindless murder machines with one purpose. Eliminate everyone associated with the Illuminati. But because they have no way of identifying members from non-members, and no way to know who's lying and who isn't, they've decided the best course of action is to just kill everyone. Including their own team members, once they're finished with the rest of the world. (You never know if one of them is actually an Illuminati mole working undercover to further the plans for the NWO!)

Time to GO POSTAL!
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Shadow Blade
7 3 4 8
Dodge, Shadowing, Stab
Block, Mighty Blow, Side Step, Tackle
  17 4 10 0 6 3 61/76 200k
(110+90)k
 
2
Shadow Blade
7 3 4 8
Dodge, Shadowing, Stab
Block, Mighty Blow, Tackle, Strip Ball
  17 2 11 0 6 2 57/76 200k
(110+90)k
 
3
Assassin
6 3 4 7
Shadowing, Stab
Block, Dodge
  16 3 3 0 1 1 19/31 120k
(80+40)k
 
4
Assassin
6 3 4 7
Shadowing, Stab
  0 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 80k
(80+0)k
 
5
Assassin
7 3 4 7
Shadowing, Stab
+MA, Dodge, Block
  17 4 6 0 0 3 37/51 150k
(80+70)k
 
6
Assassin
6 3 4 7
Shadowing, Stab
Block, Dodge
  15 3 1 0 0 2 16/31 120k
(80+40)k
 
7
Neophyte
6 3 4 7   14 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 60k
(60+0)k
 
8
Neophyte
5 3 4 7
Wrestle, Dodge
-ma 16 1 0 0 5 1 16/31 100k
(60+40)k
 
9
Neophyte
6 3 4 7   4 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 60k
(60+0)k
 
10
Neophyte
6 3 5 7
+AG, Dodge, Block
  17 10 7 1 1 2 45/51 140k
(60+80)k
 
11
Neophyte
6 3 4 7   6 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 60k
(60+0)k
 
12
Neophyte
6 3 4 7
Kick
  11 0 0 0 1 1 7/16 80k
(60+20)k
 
13
Executioner
6 3 4 8
Chainsaw, Secret Weapon
Block
  8 0 0 0 1 1 7/16 90k
(70+20)k
 
13 players  
Coach: McLovin Re-Rolls (100k): 3  
Race: Khainite Assassins Fan Factor: 7  
Current Team Value: 1730k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 90k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1730k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:17 (11/3/3) |TD Diff:16 (38 - 22) |Cas Diff:2 (19/11/9 - 20/10/7)
Last Opponent: Shpirit Disturbers

  For   Against  
Opponent Race TV SPP Cas Gold Score TV SPP Cas Gold Gate
Sand is EverywhereAraby970k90/0/160k1 - 01000k91/0/160k8k
Shpirit DisturbersEthereal1050k182/0/060k3 - 11020k130/0/260k17k
Horrors of DunwichDaemons of Malal1100k161/1/280k2 - 11140k171/2/160k17k
Chumbawamba!Zandri1120k150/2/040k1 - 11220k161/1/150k27k
Crash Test Lab RatsClan Eshin1190k180/1/140k3 - 21190k141/1/040k27k
Run Boy RunNippon1280k120/2/040k2 - 11330k101/0/030k22k
Tis But a ScratchBretonnian1310k231/1/160k3 - 11170k90/0/060k28k
Crash Test Lab RatsClan Eshin1420k152/0/020k2 - 21290k182/1/160k20k
Shpirit DisturbersEthereal1330k200/0/190k4 - 11390k141/1/040k25k
Horrors of DunwichDaemons of Malal1470k192/1/150k3 - 01410k101/0/120k25k
Tis But a ScratchBretonnian1540k171/1/070k2 - 11500k110/1/020k25k
Sand is EverywhereAraby1540k193/0/080k2 - 21510k183/0/060k30k
Run Boy RunNippon1590k131/0/050k1 - 21390k162/1/060k28k
Chumbawamba!Zandri1610k180/1/050k3 - 21620k171/0/060k29k
Horrors of DunwichDaemons of Malal1650k120/0/120k1 - 21520k182/1/070k23k
Tis But a ScratchBretonnian1600k154/0/050k2 - 31540k191/1/050k32k
Shpirit DisturbersEthereal1630k162/1/140k3 - 01670k102/0/050k22k