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Normandale Con-Unity College
P [L] Chaos Chosen

A group of rag-tag go-getters who just need a 5th chance in life to cause your first death.

Season 36 (2-6-2): And the NonAq is now a better place with us here. But do they show any appreciation? No f'n way. So far have played two AV7 teams and currently sitting at a 0 +/- Cas difference. I don't care who the next skill piece is, the choice is Mighty Blow, especially knowing who said opponent will be. (Hint: It's Waags) *Space Reserved for Eventual Gloating or Crying*

And so a new day dawns on the NCUC program with the best game ever having been played the evening prior. If you're reading this, you're welcome. Not just for the fun fluff and mild entertainment, but for 'accidentally' killing Nelson Phenny. I lie. It was no accident and I enjoyed it immensely. Even more so when I learned said player was named after former rival Nelphine. You may know that Nelphine is was the coach of recently deceased player julian star who never graduated cuz he died. But that is an old rivalry from a different team so bringing up star's death is irrelevant. But fun. So here's to a new rivalry with whatever the name of Whaflalaga's team is and many more dead elves in our future!.


Season 37 (1-4-5): Oof. The mere fact that we were in the conversation for McNurgle's is embarrassing. Sure, it's an opportunity at an extra game or two, team building, player development, but Fuck. That. Shit. If I ever find one of my teams in that swirling dumpster fire of diarrhea I'm going to retire that team and take the next season off. Anyway, back to NCUC. Some bad luck, some bad play, some bad coaching. Nuff said. Shake that shit off and we're going to make year 3 something special. And we're going to kill some people. On or off the pitch, doesn't matter to me. Elves preferably. Or dwarves.

Thank Nuffle this wasn't one of many losses this season. It actually, in a way, can be viewed as a win as the 1-1 draw covered the spread. In fact, that's exactly how it will be viewed and recorded in the annals of history. Another win against that derpity dipstick Waaghs and his stupid elves. Definitely going to kill some of them in season 38. Recently ran a coach's poll and nobody said they liked him. Just sad.


Season 38 (4-3-3): Started off hot, cooled, spiraled to finish the season but a dominating Cotton Bowl performance was a pleasing night cap for 38. Lost Asshalt, the stereotypical muscle for NCUC, but perhaps some fresh blood will allow for a less tumultuous turnover after Season 39. Currently staring down the barrel of 5 highly skilled seniors graduating. Should probably start working on some plans B, C, and maybe D. E is right out. Will NCUC be able to push for a top seed in Season 39? Probably not, but we'll enjoying hurting opponents along the way.

2 games, 2 draws. Some would call that a push, but then again, some people are idiots who are unable to read between the lines. 0-0 draw with Canturkey, but a solid +3 in the casualty department. Plus Wolvezz got totally lucky. 2-2 draw with Notre Sham, but again an impressive +3 in the casualty department. That and I totally outskilled Waagh. He was up 0-2 at the half! What a clown. He retired from the NCBB after this season, largely due to this humiliation. Another rivalry won.

3-0 vs MZ STATE

Season 39 (4-4-2): I should really have written this at season's end as opposed to 4 months later. Here's what I recall: We once again started off with solid OOC play. Navigated through conference play successfully with a shot at the Big Beast title in the last game of the season. Cal sucks and is comprised of mostly asshats and coached by someone last picked for any team activity in school. But overall enjoyable, plenty of broken dreams and players left in our wake. Another dominant 3-0 performance in the Bowl game makes NCUC the winningest post season team in NCBB history (probably). On to more mayhem in Season 40. Now with 100% more Chaos Ogres!

Sadly, the problem with crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women is eventually they've all run so far away it's nigh impossible to find a worthy opponent. With only 1 official rival in Season 39, Canturkey, we were left to inflict double the embarrassment in only one match. 2-0 win with plenty a bloody dorf left laying on the pitch. There are rumors some woodies want a piece of this NCUC action. But their words and threats are like farts on the wind. Bring it to the game or stfu.


3-0 vs JOHN MOLSON

Season 40 (2-1-7): Nothing to see here. Move along. Move along.

0-1 loss to Canturkey. F that noise. Quit reading this crap and instead bask in the glory that is Season 41!


Season 41 (3-3-4): Better than the 'season-that-shall-not-be-mentioned' but still not great. The good news is the team has plenty of talent on paper to make a return to the coveted Bowl Games. The bad news is none of the bowl games hand out invites on the basis of pretty rosters. So apparently it will come down to coaching skill and good 'ol Nuffle to make a run in Season 41. Making a run in Season 41! Making a run in Season 41! Making a run in Season 41! The team is whipped into a frenzy with this catching jingle. Nothing can stop us now! What? It's Season 42? Poo...

Pretty sure we accepted a rivalry from PSU this season and that may have been a bad call. 0-3 loss to those hipster 'Horticulturalists' and their unwashed bullshittery. Want to know how to hide money from a Horticulturalist? Put it under the soap. Also lost to Canturkey again. Beginning to think this squad isn't paying enough attention to the importance of these matches


Season 42 (3-2-4): Let's see here, what's to report about good ol season 42? Well, not necessarily from the good category, but NCUC was happy to graduate 3 seniors this year! Regicide, J Skip and Bater Switch will all be moving on to the big leagues! Just as soon as their restraining orders have been lifted at least. So congrats to you three, and I hope you enjoy more violence in your near futures.

Rivalries are for sucks (read: 0-1). Probably should look for some more as I'll be down TV in season 43 and could use me some good wizarding. Obviously need some magic to get a win for this "college". To quote the immortal movie Slapshot "It's fucking embarrassing"
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Pa Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Chaos Troll
4 5 5+ 5+ 10+
Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Projectile Vomit, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-mate
Block, Guard
  17 0 0 0 3 4 2/24 175k
(115+60)k
 
2
Chosen Blocker
5 4 3+ 5+ 10+
Block, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Claws
  40 0 0 0 16 1 4/32 160k
(100+60)k
 
3
Chosen Blocker
5 4 3+ 5+ 10+ n, m 6 0 0 0 0 1 4/18 100k
(0)k
 
4
Chosen Blocker
5 4 3+ 5+ 10+
Block, Guard
  8 0 0 0 2 3 2/24 140k
(100+40)k
 
5
Beastman Runner Lineman
6 3 3+ 4+ 8+
Horns
Dirty Player
-av 19 0 0 0 0 1 1/20 70k
(60+10)k
 
6
Beastman Runner Lineman
6 3 3+ 4+ 9+
Horns
  2 0 1 0 0 0 3/18 60k
(60+0)k
 
7
Beastman Runner Lineman
6 3 3+ 4+ 9+
Horns
  1 0 0 0 1 0 2/18 60k
(60+0)k
 
11
Beastman Runner Lineman
6 3 3+ 4+ 9+
Horns
n 10 0 0 0 0 0 0/18 60k
(60+0)k
 
12
Beastman Runner Lineman
6 3 3+ 4+ 9+
Horns
Block, Tackle
  24 0 1 0 4 3 9/24 100k
(60+40)k
 
13
Beastman Runner Lineman
6 3 3+ 4+ 9+
Horns
Block, Mighty Blow
  11 1 3 0 0 2 4/24 100k
(60+40)k
 
14
Beastman Runner Lineman
6 3 3+ 4+ 9+
Horns
  10 0 0 0 0 0 0/18 60k
(60+0)k
 
16
Chosen Blocker
5 4 3+ 5+ 10+   3 0 0 0 0 0 0/18 100k
(100+0)k
 
11 players (+1 player missing next game) Favoured of Nurgle
Coach: charlie1331 Re-Rolls (120k): 3  
Race: Chaos Chosen Dedicated Fans: 2  
Current Team Value: 1335k Assistant Coaches: 1  
Treasury: 100k Cheerleaders: 1  
Team Value: 1435k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:41 (10/10/21) |TD Diff:-21 (26 - 47) |Cas Diff:-5 (31/28/9 - 31/32/10)
Last Opponent: Hawai'i Universitee
Opponent#RecordTDCasTV
 W/D/LAvgAvgAvg diff
Chaos Chosen10/0/10.0-2.02.0   1.0   0.0-1.0   2.0   1.0280k
Chaos Dwarf51/0/40.4-1.20.4   0.6   0.0-1.4   0.4   0.4170k
Chaos Renegade21/1/00.5-0.01.5   1.0   0.0-1.5   0.5   0.50k
Dark Elf10/0/10.0-2.00.0   1.0   0.0-0.0   1.0   0.0620k
Dwarf43/1/01.0-0.30.3   0.0   0.3-1.0   0.5   0.0-23k
Elven Union30/0/30.3-1.70.3   1.7   0.3-0.0   0.0   0.0120k
Human10/0/10.0-1.00.0   0.0   0.0-0.0   3.0   0.070k
Lizardmen61/0/50.7-1.71.0   0.3   0.3-1.0   0.5   0.2-38k
Old World Alliance10/1/00.0-0.01.0   1.0   0.0-3.0   2.0   0.0-30k
Orc31/1/10.7-0.70.0   0.3   0.0-0.7   0.7   0.7-133k
Shambling Undead61/3/20.7-0.80.7   1.0   0.5-0.3   2.0   0.2278k
Slann30/2/10.7-1.00.0   0.3   0.3-0.3   0.3   0.3-7k
Tomb Kings22/0/02.0-0.52.0   1.5   0.5-1.0   0.0   0.5-35k
Wood Elf30/1/20.7-3.02.3   0.7   0.0-0.0   0.3   0.0237k
Total4110/10/210.6-1.10.8   0.7   0.2-0.8   0.8   0.291k