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"If you can't beat them with skill, beat them with a stick"
(Chapter 1, Para 2)

"It's not cheating if the referee has been carried off in a
full body cast"
(Chapter 12, Para 3)

"Sometimes subtlety comes in the form of a head-butt "
(Chapter 13, Para 14)

"When discussing strategy, it is not vital that one knows
what they are talking about. One must meerly SOUND clever by,
for example referring to oneself in the first person.
The affect is exacerbated by an exponential factor if overly
long words are used to obfuscate the inherently obtuse
message (which, let us not forget, is essentially being made
up on the spot) When you have the audiences attention, but
not their understanding, you are the master! They will nod
sagely without actually admitting that they do not understand
what on earth you are saying. From then on, you may say what
you wish, and publish whatever crap you have rattling around
in your head, and people will buy it. After all, it works for
self-help books" ('I'm Awesome, You all Suck' available from
this author in all bad bookshops now - Editor)
Chapter 3, Para 14557

All quotations are from Cyber-Coach Tin Zoo's (Pictured left)
'Art of Gore for
Business, Blood-Bowl and competitive melon farming'

<U>Team Progress</U>
So, two games, one win. Good brutal stuff both times.
Against the halflings we played first, at least half the
little guys got Badly hurt. That's some good violence being dealt
out there.

In the second game, we suffered a death! Ah well, such is
Orc life. Again, the Chaos team suffered more with the Mino
being Badly hurt, and a beastman taking on a Serious Injury!

Third game, a victory against a High Elf team with a boring coach.
A good win, but yet more injuries, including a
niggling BOB means I go into the next game with 9 players!
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Blitzer
6 3 3 9
Block
Guard
  3 0 2 0 1 0 8/ 100k
(115)k
 
2
Blitzer
6 3 3 9
Block
Guard
  3 0 1 0 2 0 7/ 100k
(115)k
 
3
Black Orc Blocker
4 4 2 9   3 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 80k
(80)k
 
5
Black Orc Blocker
4 4 2 9
Block
  3 0 0 0 1 1 7/ 100k
(100)k
 
6
Black Orc Blocker
4 4 2 9   3 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 80k
(80)k
 
7
Thrower
5 3 3 8
Pass, Sure Hands
Block
  3 2 1 0 2 0 9/ 90k
(105)k
 
8
Lineman
5 3 3 9   2 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 50k
(50)k
 
9
Lineman
5 3 3 9   3 0 0 0 0 1 5/ 50k
(50)k
 
10
Blitzer
6 3 3 9
Block
  1 0 1 0 0 0 3/ 80k
(80)k
 
11
Lineman
5 3 3 9 m 3 0 0 0 0 1 5/ 50k
(0)k
 
9 players (+1 player missing next game)  
Coach: VampireHarlequin Re-Rolls (120k): 3  
Race: Orc Fan Factor: 9  
Current Team Value: 0k Assistant Coaches: 2  
Treasury: 30k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1020k Apothecary: No  

Games Played:3 (2/1/0) |TD Diff:4 (5 - 1) |Cas Diff:4 (8/1/0 - 1/3/1)
Last Opponent: Stay Alive
Opponent#RecordTDCasTV
 W/D/LAvgAvgAvg diff
Chaos Chosen10/1/01.0-1.02.0   1.0   0.0-1.0   0.0   1.0-30k
Halfling11/0/02.0-0.05.0   0.0   0.0-0.0   1.0   0.0-160k
High Elf11/0/02.0-0.01.0   0.0   0.0-0.0   2.0   0.020k
Total32/1/01.7-0.32.7   0.3   0.0-0.3   1.0   0.3-57k