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Short Black Coffees
P [R] Chaos Dwarf

The "Short Black Coffees" are little high on life due to a few to many expressos at breakfast. Actually, it is probably safe to say that it is breakfast, lunch and dinner with a few in between for good measure. The quantity they consume is bewildering and almost unquantifiable. Safe to say, if FUMBBL was ever to initiate random drug testing then the "Short Black Coffees" would be done for Caffeine doping, to the last Dwarf, Hobgoblin and Bull Centaur.

Over a few Irish Coffees after their first ever match the players made a pact, which boils down to a few simple rules:

  1. No Minotaur will ever be hired... they have all lost control at any cafe the team has taken them to and danced around like a bull in a china shop. Totally unacceptable and hence they are banned
  2. Because of the copious amounts of caffeine pulsing through their veins, every member of the Short Black Coffees is nervous of sharp objects and tends to develop twitches if they trip and literally dive to the floor. Hence no CLAW and no PILING ON skill choices are allowed
  3. Since an Apothecaries tend to have sharp implements in their medical bags, the Short Black Coffees are rather nervous of them and won't consider hiring one (due to the sharp stuff. This maybe reconsidered if they ever get a Star. NB, this is still under consideration since they only have 2 Stars and they are not that special
  4. Babes serve Beer which tends to mix with the caffeine and leads to unfortunate consequences... Hence Babes are only to be hired if there is no other option available... Bring on the full pack of inducements to make it impossible for the Short Black Coffees to hire one
  5. You only get to leave the team once you are DEAD

Finally, the dwarves in the Short Black Coffees have an even greater predilection for gold than pretty much any other dwarf going around. "Yes this may seem strange, but it is true", hence the coach has found it almost impossible to get to hold of the winnings. On the few occasions the coach has successfully received funds, it required a written request in triplicate, with a strategic positioning paper justifying the need for funds to be released and signed and countersigned by each playing member of the team. Safe to say the chances of the roster ever growing beyond 11 is extremely slim! OK... 12 or maybe 13 is one of the hobs snuck a friend in ;-)
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Café mélange II
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 2 9
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 70k
(70+0)k
  
2
Café Bombón III
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 2 9
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
Guard, Side Step
   24 0 0 0 3 4 26/31 120k
(70+50)k
  
3
Caffè latte IV
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 2 8
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
Guard, Mighty Blow
 -av 20 0 2 0 6 1 23/31 110k
(70+40)k
  
4
Café au lait III
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 2 9
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
Guard, Mighty Blow
   16 0 0 0 6 1 17/31 110k
(70+40)k
  
5
Café Mocha V
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 2 9
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 70k
(70+0)k
  
6
Caffè Americano III
Chaos Dwarf Blocker
4 3 1 9
Block, Tackle, Thick Skull
 -ag 9 0 0 0 1 0 2/6 70k
(70+0)k
  
7
Vienna coffee
Hobgoblin
6 3 4 7
Block, Sure Hands, Tackle, +AG, Fend
   59 7 31 0 9 1 123/176 160k
(40+120)k
  
8
Turkish coffee III
Hobgoblin
6 3 3 7
Block, Kick, Wrestle
   34 0 3 0 1 4 31/51 100k
(40+60)k
  
10
Instant coffee
Hobgoblin
6 2 3 7
Wrestle, Strip Ball, Tackle, Fend, Dauntless
 -st 56 2 12 1 4 8 88/176 140k
(40+100)k
  
11
Café Carajillo II
Bull Centaur Blitzer
6 4 4 9
Sprint, Sure Feet, Thick Skull
+AG, Block, +AG
   14 1 8 0 4 1 38/51 230k
(130+100)k
  
12
Freeze Dried Coffee II
Hobgoblin
6 3 3 7   4 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 40k
(40+0)k
  
16
Ca phe sua da II
Bull Centaur Blitzer
6 4 2 9
Sprint, Sure Feet, Thick Skull
Block, Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Stand Firm, Tackle
   39 0 14 0 27 3 111/176 230k
(130+100)k
  
12 players  
Coach: polemarch Re-Rolls (140k): 4  
Race: Chaos Dwarf Fan Factor: 12  
Current Team Value: 1850k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 1580k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1850k Apothecary: No  

Games Played:60 (35/16/9) |TD Diff:44 (93 - 49) |Cas Diff:59 (96/53/18 - 58/28/22)
Last Opponent: Surely This Team
Opponent#RecordTDCasTV
 W/D/LAvgAvgAvg diff
Chaos Chosen63/2/11.5-0.80.7   0.2   0.3-0.8   0.3   0.8-47k
Chaos Dwarf10/1/02.0-2.00.0   1.0   0.0-2.0   1.0   0.0-160k
Chaos Renegade32/0/11.7-0.71.3   0.3   0.3-1.3   0.7   0.0-17k
Dark Elf33/0/01.7-0.32.3   0.0   0.3-0.0   0.0   0.360k
Dwarf53/2/01.6-0.22.0   1.2   0.0-0.4   0.6   0.62k
Halfling22/0/02.5-0.55.0   1.0   1.0-0.0   0.0   0.0335k
Human43/0/11.3-1.01.8   1.8   0.3-1.5   0.5   0.5-40k
Lizardmen43/0/12.3-1.03.3   0.5   0.5-1.3   0.3   0.843k
Necromantic Horror30/2/10.7-1.00.7   0.7   0.3-0.3   0.0   0.3-7k
Norse43/0/11.3-0.52.3   1.5   0.5-0.3   0.8   0.325k
Nurgle21/1/01.0-0.50.5   1.5   0.5-1.0   0.5   0.0-20k
Orc54/1/01.6-0.40.0   0.4   0.2-1.2   0.2   0.410k
Shambling Undead64/1/11.3-0.72.0   0.8   0.5-1.3   0.7   0.5-50k
Skaven32/1/02.3-1.31.7   1.7   0.0-0.7   0.3   0.0-13k
Slann10/0/11.0-3.04.0   2.0   0.0-0.0   0.0   0.010k
Tomb Kings20/2/02.0-2.00.5   1.5   0.0-2.5   2.0   0.050k
Underworld Denizens22/0/02.0-0.02.0   1.0   0.0-2.5   1.0   0.5-80k
Vampire10/1/01.0-1.02.0   0.0   0.0-1.0   0.0   0.020k
Wood Elf20/1/10.5-1.50.5   1.0   0.5-0.5   0.0   0.0-40k
Total5935/15/91.5-0.81.6   0.9   0.3-0.9   0.5   0.40k