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Real Salt Ape [OBBA]
Roster [L] Simyin



Real Salt Ape was scraped together from the monkey pits surrounding a very salty lake. Just... too much attitude.
They've brought that attitude to the USL, and then the MLS, with absolutely no beneficial effect. Their suck is routine, their scoring is sporadic, it's like they don't really grasp the game. That's good news for everyone else in the MLS, except Real Salt Ape fans... Aww, screw em, they should've picked a better team.


Participated in:



We did some things:





Who do we hate?

DC United. We just can't foul them enough. We tried.
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Lalo Apenandez II
Silverback
5 5 1 9
Extra Arms, Grab, Loner, Mighty Blow, Wild Animal
   4 0 0 0 2 0 4/6 140k
(140+0)k
  
2
Tony Belape II
Gorilla
5 4 2 8
Extra Arms, Grab
   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/6 100k
(100+0)k
  
3
Aperon Maund
Gorilla
6 4 2 8
Extra Arms, Grab
+MA, Break Tackle
   22 0 3 0 2 2 23/31 150k
(100+50)k
  
4
Carlos Apecedo
Gorilla
5 4 3 8
Extra Arms, Grab
+AG, Dodge
   22 4 3 0 1 3 30/31 160k
(100+60)k
  
5
Chris Flingert
Gorilla
5 4 2 8
Extra Arms, Grab
Block, Dodge
   22 0 4 0 1 2 24/31 150k
(100+50)k
  
6
Joao Aplata
Chimpanzee
7 3 3 7
Extra Arms, Wrestle
Strip Ball, Tackle
   20 4 5 0 1 0 21/31 120k
(80+40)k
  
7
Robbie Flingley II
Chimpanzee
8 3 3 7
Extra Arms, Wrestle
+MA
   8 1 1 0 0 1 9/16 110k
(80+30)k
  
9
Jordan Apelen
Bonobo
6 3 3 7
Extra Arms
Block, Wrestle
   22 2 0 0 5 2 22/31 90k
(50+40)k
  
10
Cole Grossapeman
Bonobo
6 3 3 7
Extra Arms
Wrestle
   20 2 1 0 1 0 7/16 70k
(50+20)k
  
11
Ned Grabafruit
Bonobo
6 3 3 7
Extra Arms
   4 0 0 0 0 1 5/6 50k
(50+0)k
  
12
John Stertzer II
Bonobo
6 3 3 7
Extra Arms
Guard
   20 0 0 0 1 2 12/16 80k
(50+30)k
  
15
Boyd Ookwuonook
Orangutan
5 3 3 8
Extra Arms, Strong Arm
Pass
   4 10 0 0 0 1 15/16 90k
(70+20)k
  
16
Jámison Olape
Orangutan
4 3 3 8
Extra Arms, Strong Arm
Accurate
 -ma 10 4 1 0 0 1 12/16 90k
(70+20)k
  
13 players  
Coach: Village_Idiot Re-Rolls (120k): 4  
Race: Simyin Fan Factor: 5  
Current Team Value: 1780k Assistant Coaches: 2  
Treasury: 200k Cheerleaders: 2  
Team Value: 1780k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:22 (2/8/12) |TD Diff:-20 (22 - 42) |Cas Diff:-2 (21/12/5 - 26/7/7)
Last Opponent: Montreal Im-PACT
Opponent#RecordTDCasTV
 W/D/LAvgAvgAvg diff
Chaos Renegade30/1/21.0-1.70.7   0.3   0.0-1.3   0.3   0.7507k
High Elf10/0/10.0-4.00.0   0.0   1.0-0.0   0.0   0.0-970k
Dark Elf30/2/11.3-1.70.7   0.3   0.3-0.3   0.3   0.0460k
Dwarf20/0/21.0-2.50.5   1.0   0.0-3.5   0.5   0.0200k
Human10/0/10.0-2.00.0   1.0   0.0-1.0   2.0   0.00k
Norse20/1/10.5-1.51.5   2.0   0.0-2.5   0.0   0.0320k
Shambling Undead21/0/11.0-2.01.0   0.0   0.0-1.0   0.0   1.5205k
Simyin60/3/31.0-1.80.8   0.3   0.5-1.0   0.2   0.3147k
Skaven10/1/02.0-2.03.0   1.0   0.0-0.0   0.0   0.0630k
Tomb Kings11/0/02.0-1.03.0   0.0   0.0-0.0   1.0   0.0250k
Total222/8/121.0-1.91.0   0.5   0.2-1.2   0.3   0.3234k