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Booger Bandtiz
Retired [S] Goblin

The gibbering hyenas were a relatively new bloodbowl team. Like all goblin teams they’d had no real success. But they had an edge… Well so skips told them. Skips was the leader of the team. Not because he was smart, not because he was a good player but because his mother was a troll and no one wanted to argue with her. The edge skips spoke of, was a skaven moulder shaman that they had kidnapped and blackmailed into helping them as their apothecary. He didn’t mind, he now had countless green rats to experiment on. The team had lost 48 players so far to his experiments some of them had melted into puddles of green goo, others limbs swelled to such eneromous proportions they couldn’t hold their own weight anymore. And a few had thought they were rockets running around shouting “WOOOSH!” at the top of their voices followed by a loud bang. But it didn’t matter skips had no trouble finding new players for the team, goblins were gullible.

But the experiments hadn’t all been a complete disaster there was Rage. He was big… and as skips would describe him “ he aint just big, his real big” Rage was enormous… for a goblin. He stood taller than a human, about 7 foot his arms were like tree trunks. Dok Rat, as they called him had made him he did whatever Skips would tell him, and that was about all he did. In an interview for the SPIKE! Magazine skips had described Rage as “Really real big, e does the clobberin’ for our team” And the other freak of the show was smarts. Named by Skips because he was well smart. He had tendency to confuse himself and his teammates though. He would run off on wild tangents in the middle of team talks and leave the team completely gormless. In the same SPIKE! Article Skips had described Smart “ ‘es quite bright you see so we call em smarts. His so bright his gone off the bright end of the scale and started at stupid again for another lap” Smarts was the coach. He had a jacket said that coach, they had stolen it from the Middenheim Mongrels coach while he was stuck on the toilet. They had pulled this dirty trick on him to give them the edge in the game. They were going to glue him to the toilet seat but they didn’t have any glue and smarts had gone off on one about how glue wasn’t “Economically Friendly” So they had used nails instead, painted black so he wouldn’t notice them against the black toilet seat.

The Hyenas had still lost that game, but they won a trophy for innovative use of nails.

It was a Sunday. Which for the Hyenas meant gametime. They were up against the Averland Wardogs. A semi-pro human team. It was 20 minutes before the game was due to start. And Smarts was giving them the game plan for todays game in the locker room. There was a blackboard covered in chalk symbols and formula. “ Right chaps” began smarts “Were going to start of with the drifting 3 gameplan.” Smarts continued drawing his hieroglyphics on the board “Worm, give the ball a good wellie deep into their half. Everyone else is to charge down there like the clappers and try and filch that ball.” Smarts drew what Skips thought was an arrow covered in hair and fluff on the board. “Now were defending close today gentlemen, so don’t be afraid to give and take a little and put a few into the wood for eachother” Smarts drew what looked like a ring of flowers on the board and then slammed his chalk against a large squiggly line.

“And remember gentlemen, scoring touchdowns is like a leaking tap it wont fix itself. You need to call a plumber. Feed him his own bodyweight in tea and biscuits. Watch as he fiddles with parts that you never knew your sink and tap had and then pay him an outrageous bill to make him go away. Any questions?”

“Smarts, what are you talking about? Plumber?” Skips sighed in confusion “Rage…get me the phone book”

Over the loudspeaker

Jim: “Good Afternoon ladies and gentlemen and thank you for joining us!”
Bob: “And the teams are making their way out onto the pitch for what promises too be an exciting day of bloodbowl action.”
Jim: “Well would you look at that bob!” Jim said, giggling in excitement
Bob: “ I see it Bob, and I haven’t seen a tactic like this used in all my years of commentating”
Jim:”It appears, playing number 11 for the Gibbering Hyenas. Is a plumber. It’s a bold tactic bob, do you think it will pay off for them?”
Bob: “I hope so Jim, those guys aren’t cheap.”
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Brax
Troll
4 5 1 9
Always Hungry, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate
   1 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 100k
(100+0)k
  
2
Mjax
Troll
4 5 1 9
Always Hungry, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 100k
(100+0)k
  
3
Snart
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
4
Smrinit
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
5
Earbooger
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
6
Hrooper
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
7
Derrit
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
8
Dewang
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
Sure Feet
   1 0 0 0 1 1 7/ 60k
(40+20)k
  
9
Hnarit
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
10
Roblin
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
11
Rottit
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
12
Scrunter
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 1 0 0 0 3/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
13
Tawitt
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
 n, m 1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 40k
(0)k
  
14
Skiso
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
15
Derkin
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   1 0 0 0 1 0 2/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
16
Xablah
Goblin
6 2 3 7
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty
   0 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 40k
(40+0)k
  
15 players (+1 player missing next game)  
Coach: RagingGoblin Re-Rolls (120k): 3  
Race: Goblin Fan Factor: 8  
Current Team Value: 1000k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 0k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 1040k Apothecary: No  

Games Played:1 (1/0/0) |TD Diff:1 (1 - 0) |Cas Diff:1 (1/1/2 - 1/1/1)
Last Opponent: Evil Ratz