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Retired [S] Gnome

TOUCHDOWNS AND ALL THAT MALARKEY

The aim of the game is to carry, throw, kick and generally move an inflated animal bladder coated in leather and - quite often - spikes, across the field into the opposing team`s end zone.
Of ccourse the other team is trying to do the same thing.
Once the inflated bladder, also known as the ball, has been carried or caught in the opposing team`s end zone, a `Touchdown` has been scored.

Traditionally the crowd then goes wild, though the reactions of the fans vary from celebration if it was thier team that just scored to anger if their team have conceded.

The player who has scored will also have his moment of jubilation and much celebratory hugging with fellow teammates will ensue, although a bear hug from an Ogre, even if his intention is that of mutual happiness, is best avoided! The team that scores the most touchdowns within the allotted timeframe is deemed the winner.

The game lasts about two hours and is split into two segment unsurprisingly called `the first half` and `the second half`. The first half starts after both teams have walked onto the pitch and taken thier positions, usually accompanied by much fanfare and cheering from the fans.

The team captains meet in the centre of the pitch with the `ref`(more on his later) to prefrom the start-of-the-game ritual know as `the toss`.

A coin is flipped in the air and one of the captains will call `orcs`or `eagles`. Whoever wins the toss gets the choice of `kicking` or `receiving`.

Kicking teams will kick the ball to receiving teams. Once the ball has been kicked the whistle is blown and the first half will begin.
The second half begins in much the same way except that the kicking team at the beginning of the first half will now become the receiving team and vice-versa.

Violence is encouraged to gain possession, keep and move the ball, although different races and teams will try different methods and varying degrees of hostility.

The fey elves, for instance, wil often try pure speed to collect the ball and avoid the other team`s players.

Orcs and Chaos teams will take a more direct route of overpowering the opposing team and trundling down the centre of the field almost daring thier oppenents to stop them.

Rookies reading this maybe confused as to why I haven`t mentioned the use of weapons yet. This is because in Blood Bowl Nuffle decreed that one`s own body is the only weapon one needs to play the game.

Over the years this hasn`t stopped teams using this admittedly
rather loose wording to maximum effect and is the reason why a player`s armor is more likely than not covered in sharp protruding spikes with blades and large Knuckle-dusters attached to gauntles. Other races and teams often `forget`about this basic principle and just ignore Roze-el`s teachings on the matter.

Dwarfs and goblins (yes, them again) are the usual suspects, although this is not exclusively their domain.

The Blood Bowl is littered with the illegal use of weapons and the many deviouse contraptions bought forward by the dwarfs and goblins, raging from monstrous machines such as the dwarf death-roller to the no-less-dangerous Chainsaw.


THE PSYCHOS.... I MEAN PLAYERS

As I`ve already mentioned, there are many way to get the ball from one end of the field to the other. Equally, there are as many ways to stop the ball from moving towardsa team`s end zone.

A blood bowl player, to an extent, needs to be a jack-of-alltrades - as eqally quick on offence as well as being able to defend. This doesn`t mean mean that there aren`t any specilists in the sport, far from it - a Blood Bowl player needs to specialise in one of the many positions if he wishes to rise above the humble lineman. Let`s look at the more commen positions:

Blitzers: These highly-skilled players are usually the starts of the game, combining strength and skill with great speed and flexibility.
All the most glamorous Blood Bowl players are blitzers, since they are always at the heart of the action and doing very impressive things! Their usual job is to burst a hole through thier opponent`s lines, and then run with the ball to scor.
Team captains are usually blitzers, and all of them, without exception, have egos the size of a halfling`s appetite

Throwers: there is more to Blood Bowl than just grabbing the ball and charging full tilt at the other side ( though this has worked for most teams at one time or another). If you can get a player on the other side of your opponents`line. Why not simply toss the ball to him and cut out all that unnecessary bloodshed?
This, of course, is where the special thrower comes in! These guys are usually lightly armoured (preferring to dodge a tackle rather that be flattened by it).
Throwers of certain races have also been know to launch other things than just the ball. For decades now, an accepted tactic of orc, goblin and even halfling teams is to throw their team-mates down-field, This is usually done by the larger members of said teams such as ogres, trolls and in the case of the halflings, treemen. Of course this tactic is not without risk. Whilst the bigger players are strong it doesn`t necessarily mean they are accurate.
As regular fans know, goblins make a reassuring `splat`sound as they hit the ground or stadium wall head-first - much to the joy of the crowd! Trolls are notoriously stupid with memory spans that would shame a goldfish. So a goblin or snotling about to be hurtled across the pitch by his trollish team mate will often find itself heading for the troll`s gaping maw instead as the monster forgets what he`s holding and decidesto have a snack!

Catchers: And of course if you are throwing the ball, it would be nice if there was someone at the other end to catch it! This is where the specialist catcher comes in. Lightly armoured for sped, they are adept at dodging around slower opponents and heading for the open field ready for a long pass at arrive. The best catcher of all time is generally reckoned to be the legendary Tarsh surehands of the otherwise fairly repulsive skaven team, The Skaven Scramblers. With his two heads and four arms, the mutant ratman plainly had somthing of an Advantage.

Blockers: If one side is trying to bash its way through the opposing team`s lines, you will often see the latter`s blockers come into action to stop them.
These lumbering giants are often slow and dim-witted, but they have the size and power to stop show-off blitzers from getting any further up the field! Black orcs, ogres and trolls make especially good blockers, but this fact has hampered the chances of teams like the Oldheim Ogres, who, with nothingbut blockers and linemen in their team, have great trouble actually scoring a touchdown!

Linemen: While a good deal of attention is paid to the various specialist players, every true Blood bowl fan would agree that the players who do most of the hard work are the ordinary linemen.
These are the guys who get bashed out of the way while trying to stop a hilking great ogre from sacking their thrower, who are pushed out of the end zone, or who get beaten and bruised by linemen of the opposite side while the most gifted players skip about scoring touchdowns. `Moaning like a lineman`is a common phrase in Blood bowl circles for a bad complainer, but if it wasn`t for the linemen whingeing about their flashier team-mates, the newspapers would often have nothing to fill their sports pages with!

DA REFS.

Blood Bowl has often been described, as `nearly-organised chaos`by its many critics. Blood Bowl`s admirers emphatically agree with the critics then again they don`t like to play up the nearly-organised`bit.
In fact some quite happily just descibe it as `chaos`. However, it is widely accepted that you do need someone in charge of the game`s proccedings and to enforce the games rules or else it wouldn`t be Blood Bowl at all. Again, this point is often lost on some fans who would quite happily just come and spectate/participate in a big fight. In any case, the person and/or or creature in charge of a game is know as `the ref`.
The ref, in his traditional kit of zebra furs, has a very difficult job to do. You have to ask yourself what kind mind accepts this kind of responsibility especially when the general Blood Bowl viewing public rate refs far below taxcollectors, traffic wardens and sewer inspectors in their estimation.
Of course some refs revile in the notoriety and are as psychopathic as the players themselves.
Max `kneecap`Mittleman would never issue a yellow or red card but simply disembowel the offending player. It is also fair to say that most (if not all) refs are not the bastions of honesty and independence they would have you belive.
In fact the Referees and Allied Rulekeepers Guild has strict bribery procedures and union established rates. Although teams may not always want to bribe a ref - especially when sheer intimidation can be far cheaper.

THAT`S THE BASICS

Now I`ve covered the rudimentary points of how to play blood bowl it`s worth going over some of the basic plays you`ll see in most games of one variation or another. Remember, it`s not just about fighting; you have to score at some point as well!

The Cage: Probably the most basic play in the game yet it`s the one halfling team still can`t get right. This involves surrounding the ball carrier with bodyguards and then moving the whole possession up the field. Once within yards of the team`s end zone the ball carrier will explode from his protective cocoon and sprint across the line. Not always good against elf teams who have an annoying knack of dodging into the cage and stealing the ball away, still you should see the crowd`s rapure when an elf does misstep and he`s close-lined to the3 floor by a sneering orc.

The Chuck: The second most basic play, although it does require the use of of a semi-competent thrower, does rule a large proportion of team out from the start. Blockers on the `line of scrimmage`will open a gap for the team`s receivers to run through, and once they are in the opposing team`s back the thrower will lob the ball to them. provided one of the cachers can catch it, all that remains is a short run into opposing end zone for a Touchdown.
The survival rate of a lone catcher in enemy`s half is oviously not great so it`s important to get as many catchers up field as possible. The more catchers a team employs, the more chances at least one of them will remain standing to complete the pass.

The Chain: A particular favouite of blitzers everywhere. Players position themselves at different stages up field. The ball is thenquickly passed from player to player in a series of short passes until the blitzer on the end of the chain can wave to the crowd and gallop into the end zone.
A broken link in the chain can balls this up (excuse the pun), giving the opposing team opportunity to intercept the ball.

The Kill-em-all!!: Favoured by dwarf teams and those that lack a certain finesse. It works on the principle that if there isn`t anyone left in the opposing team, then who`s going to stop you from scoring ?The receiving team simply hides the ball in its half and maul, break and kill the opposition, Chaos teams are particularly good at this.
When there is less then a third of the opposing team left, the ball will slowly make its way up field. The downside is that some teams can get so engrossed in maiming they simply run out of time to score.
Nevertheless it`s a fan farourite and is here to stay.



Thx to Matt Forbeck.
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Marvin Dairyson
Gnome
4 2 3 8
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50+0)k
  
2
Harry Creamson
Gnome
4 2 3 8
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50+0)k
  
3
Clivie Plowson
Gnome
4 2 3 8
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50+0)k
  
4
Harry Jugson
Gnome
4 2 3 8
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50+0)k
  
5
Mario Glytteson
Gnome
4 2 3 8
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50+0)k
  
6
Roman Glowmen
Gnome
4 2 3 8
Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50+0)k
  
7
Steve Smith
Dwarven Cannon
2 3 3 10
Always Hungry, Hail Mary Pass, Secret Weapon, Strong Arm, Throw Team-Mate
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 50k
(50+0)k
  
8
Brian Westbrook
Mad Bommaz
4 2 3 8
Bombardier, Right Stuff, Secret Weapon, Strong Arm, Stunty, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 60k
(60+0)k
  
9
Gil Brandt
Mad Bommaz
4 2 3 8
Bombardier, Right Stuff, Secret Weapon, Strong Arm, Stunty, Thick Skull
 n, m 1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 60k
(0)k
  
10
Fuggie Macbash
Squig Slayer
5 2 2 8
Block, Dauntless, Frenzy, Right Stuff, Stunty, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 90k
(90+0)k
  
11
Red Fungoson
Squig Slayer
5 2 2 8
Block, Dauntless, Frenzy, Right Stuff, Stunty, Thick Skull
   1 0 0 0 0 0 0/ 90k
(90+0)k
  
10 players (+1 player missing next game)  
Coach: raae Re-Rolls (120k): 3  
Race: Gnome Fan Factor: 8  
Current Team Value: 900k Assistant Coaches: 0  
Treasury: 0k Cheerleaders: 0  
Team Value: 960k Apothecary: Yes  

Games Played:1 (0/0/1) |TD Diff:-1 (0 - 1) |Cas Diff:1 (0/1/0 - 0/0/0)
Last Opponent: Ojos de la jungla