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George Mikes (1912--1987) was a Hungarian-born British author most famous for his commentaries on various countries. How to be an alien poked gentle fun at the English, including a one-line chapter on sex: "Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles." Subsequent books dealt with (among others) Japan (The land of the rising yen), Israel (Milk and honey, The prophet motive), the USA (How to scrape skies), and the United Nations (How to unite nations), Australia ("Boomerang"), and the British again (How to be inimitable, How to be decadent), and God (How to be God). George Mikes Quotes: <b> An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one. Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars. The world still consists of two clearly divided groups: the English and the foreigners. One group consists of less than 50 million people; the other of 3,950 million. The latter group does not really count. Continental people have sex-lives; the English have hot-water bottles The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together, and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. To the eternal glory of British science their labor bore fruit. In England only uneducated people show off their knowledge; nobody quotes Latin or Greek authors in the course of conversation, unless he has never read them. Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles, - but never England. On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists. Here the similarity ends: the Loch Ness Monster seems to be a gentle beast and harms no one; English humour is cruel. An average English motorcar could be placed, I believe, without much difficulty, in the luggage-rack of an average American automobile. Everybody can write; even among professional writers the percentage of those who can write is as high as 12.37. Everybody can write but only a few people can read and that makes the job a shade more difficult. Going to bed with women is almost a national hobby with Brazilians; it is rather like cricket in England. I firmly believe that humanity consists of three main groups: (1) BBC employees; (2) former BBC employees; (3) future BBC employers. It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not known, however, why this decision has not been carried out. Nobody uses his car in New York, because so many people use it that traffic is congested and unbearably slow. Our society is a free society. In a free society you are allowed to say what you think. But you are not allowed to think. Table manners are usually quite senseless all the world over. The rules are created by a small class of people who ridicule others for eating differently. The English have no soul; they have the understatement instead. Three Italians engaged in a friendly chat can make more noise than the average English mass-demonstration in Trafalgar Square. We are much more modest. Only the rich are insatiable. No rich man considers himself rich enough; but I consider myself poor enough. You are my darling little fiancée and you will remain my fiancée forever. </b> |
Player | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Skills | Inj | G | Cp | Td | It | Cs | Mvp | SPP | Cost | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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1 |
Witch Elf
|
7 | 3 | 4 | 7 | Dodge, Frenzy, Jump Up Block |
  | 5 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 11/ | 130k
(155)k |
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2 |
Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block |
  | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 11/ | 90k
(90)k |
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3 |
Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block |
  | 4 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 6/ | 90k
(90)k |
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4 |
Lineman
|
5 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block, Kick |
-ma | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 17/ | 110k
(105)k |
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5 |
Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 4 | 8 |   | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1/ | 70k
(70)k |
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6 |
Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block |
  | 5 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 10/ | 90k
(90)k |
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7 |
Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | m | 5 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2/ | 70k
(0)k |
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8 |
Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block |
  | 5 | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 7/ | 90k
(90)k |
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9 |
Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Dirty Player |
  | 5 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6/ | 90k
(120)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
10 |
Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block |
  | 5 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6/ | 90k
(90)k |
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11 |
Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block |
  | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 6/ | 90k
(90)k |
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12 |
Blitzer
|
7 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block Tackle |
  | 3 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 6/ | 120k
(130)k |
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11 players (+1 player missing next game) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Games Played: | 5 (4/0/1) | | | TD Diff: | 5 (12 - 7) | | | Cas Diff: | 10 (7/4/3 - 2/2/0) |
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Last Opponent: Fattyfud's Boyz |