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Chefs around the world have wondered how to create the perfect Orc team? Many have pioneered the techniques shown here, and to help the rest of the uninitiated here is the guide to a perfect Orc team. Now we can all 'enjoy' a team full of highly armoured clones, ideal for winning SMACK's and making a run at Majors. <i>Preparation time </i>: Ideally less than 60 minutes per match <i>Cooking time</i> : 10 to 30 games until ready ============================================== <big><b>INGREDIENTS</b></big> <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/oblackorc1.gif> <b>For the Black Orcs</b> <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/oblackorc1.gif> 440lb of mean, bad tempered Black Orc 6 SPP as soon as possible ST4, to compliment the bad temper Small amounts of movement, ball handling skill and IQ <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/oblitzer1.gif> <b>For the Blitzers</b> <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/oblitzer1.gif> 1 giant ego A heap of potential 1 sealed can of whoop-ass (To open) Sprinkling of stat increases <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/othrower1.gif> <b>For the Throwers</b> <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/othrower1.gif> A worrying lack of armour 2 chances to pick the ball up 110% reliability on ball handling <small>(110% reliability not guaranteed)</small> <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/olineman1.gif> <b>For the Linemen</b> <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/olineman1.gif> A good chance of death via the LoS 0.01 chance of getting an apothecaries help A hint of Dirty Player Some comfortable cushions (for warming the bench where they are likely to spend most of a match) <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/goblin1.gif> <b>For the Goblins</b> <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/goblin1.gif> 1 pair of flying goggles Small amount of life expectancy 1/2 tbsp of Troll-sauce to season T16 kicking boots <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/troll1.gif> <b>For the Troll</b> <img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/troll1.gif> .... erm.... ..... SMUSH!! .... <small>(Good enough for us!)</small> <big><b>METHOD</b></big> 1. Preheat the team to ~200TS/~200TR/Gas Mark 5. 2. Volunteer for SMACKS, Tours, SFC's and pickup games along the way. 3. Develop a team full of dull, clone, generic Orc players. <i><small>(Blitzers=Guard, Tackle, Mighty Blow, Repeat... Black Orcs=Block, Mighty Blow, Guard, Repeat, etc...)</i></small> 4. Add chainsaws, bombs, ball and chains and pogos for flavour. 5. Leave plenty of time for opponents reaction to your generic Orc team. Allow generous helpings of "cheese" and "whine". 6. Build up a solid fanbase and more cash in reserve than the average bank. 7. Bring to the boil for an upcoming major and set aside. ============================================== <big><b>Team Roster</b></big> 1. TROLL - Ainsley Harriott 2. BLITZER - Gordon Ramsey 3. BLITZER - Marco Pierre-White 4. BLITZER - Jamie Oliver 5. BLITZER - Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall 6. BLACK ORC - Kevin Woodford 7. BLACK ORC - Keith Floyd 8. BLACK ORC - Brian Turner 9. BLACK ORC - Antony Worral-Thompson 10. THROWER - Nigella Lawson 11. THROWER - Delia Smith 12. LINEMAN - Gary Rhodes 13. LINEMAN - Raymond Blanc 14. LINEMAN - Rick Stein 15. LINEMAN - Heston Blumenthal 16. GOBLIN - Rustie Lee ============================================== <big><b>Broken Eggs</b></big> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5798101><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/dlongbeard1.gif title="Lewontin - 5 SPP (Niggled & Retired)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5796858><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/amlineman1.gif title="Isis - 6 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5999617><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/goblin1.gif title="Small Tackle - 7 SPP (Niggled)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6008078><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/uwight1.gif title="Cutthroat Kermit - 2 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5994786><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/ughoul1.gif title="Robin 'The Rascal' Frog - 8 SPP (Niggled)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5967336><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/ughoul1.gif title="Adonis Pimp - 4 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5754931><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/centaur1.gif title="Mr Mint - 34 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5930576><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/centaur1.gif title="Bilbo der Boxer - 31 SPP (Strength Drop & Retired)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5754934><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/cddwarf1.gif title="Ola Molo - 23 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5987371><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/cdhobgoblin1.gif title="Digigo - 6 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5933303><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/troll1.gif title="Jingo - 4 SPP (Killed & Regen Failed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=team&op=view&team_id=482403><img src=http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y120/Don__Vito/FUMBBL/CD.gif title="Team Retired - Beverley Baddies"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5539018><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/olineman1.gif title="Darak Daruk - 25 SPP (Strength Drop & Retired)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5287550><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/drunner1.gif title="Ravnur Handless - 58 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5514702><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/dlongbeard1.gif title="Rufus Hildursson - 10 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5513480><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/dslayer1.gif title="Wildeye - 43 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5791591><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/kroxigor1.gif title="Manfred `Garmish` Stolzer - 11 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5757128><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/lmsaurus1.gif title="Reinholt `Frankfurt` Buchauer - 26 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6280518><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/dblitzer1.gif title="Nrur Flamemolder - 16 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=3301249><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/dlongbeard1.gif title="Dignar Holderhek - 38 SPP (-MA)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6429442><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/ngolem1.gif title="Double Personality - 13 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6410651><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/nzombie1.gif title="Kent Gilbert - 9 SPP (-AV)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6539883><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/uwight1.gif title="Right Thompson - 13 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6728011><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/cwarrior1.gif title="War IV - 25 SPP (-MA)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6378266><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/troll1.gif title="Rottweiler - 47 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6598326><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/cbeastman1.gif title="Grim Reaper II - 56 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5593547><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/kmskeleton1.gif title="Longstride - 30 SPP (-AG)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6718807><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/weblitzer1.gif title="Ineluki - 75 SPP (-MA)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6140591><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/dlongbeard1.gif title="Ganto - 25 SPP (Niggled)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=7178984><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/eplineman1.gif title="Soldier Mirawana - 0 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=7053671><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/epthrower1.gif title="Sergeant Yunia - 31 SPP (Niggled & Retired)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=7178984><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/eplineman1.gif title="Soldier Hanha - 16 SPP (Niggled & Retired)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5318722><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/kmskeleton1.gif title="Aaron Keathley II - 11 SPP (-AG)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=5322310><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/kmskeleton1.gif title="David Gabineau II - 23 SPP (Niggled & Retired)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6859525><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/cbeastman1.gif title="Cloud Strife - 12 SPP (-ST & Retired)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=6784139><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/cddwarf1.gif title="Alphrets - 20 SPP (Killed)"></a> <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=player&op=view&player_id=7115893><img src=http://www.nicklovick.co.uk/01_Fumbbl/BB7/images/cdhobgoblin1.gif title="Matina - 20 SPP (Niggled & Retired)"></a> <big><b>Minors Records</b></big> Losing Finalists FUMBBL SMACK Rookie CCXLII Losing Semi-Finalist FUMBBL SMACK Veteran CCLXXXIV <a href=http://fumbbl.com/FUMBBL.php?page=match&id=2410105>WINNERS</a> FUMBBL SMACK Pro CCCIV ============================================== |
Player | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Skills | Inj | G | Cp | Td | It | Cs | Mvp | SPP | Cost | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 |
Troll
|
4 | 5 | 1 | 9 | Always Hungry, Big Guy, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regenerate, Throw Team Mate Block, Guard, Break Tackle |
  | 38 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 11 | 3 | 39/ | 170k
(163)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
2 |
Blitzer
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 9 | Block |
  | 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 5/ | 80k
(60)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
3 |
Blitzer
|
6 | 4 | 4 | 9 | Block Guard, Tackle, +AG, +ST |
  | 52 | 8 | 9 | 0 | 5 | 6 | 75/ | 210k
(205)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
4 |
Blitzer
|
7 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Block Guard, +MA, Tackle, +AG |
-av | 54 | 6 | 5 | 0 | 6 | 5 | 58/ | 190k
(168)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
5 |
Blitzer
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 9 | Block Guard |
  | 5 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 6/ | 100k
(90)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
6 |
Black Orc Blocker
|
5 | 4 | 2 | 9 | +MA, Block |
  | 28 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 24/ | 130k
(128)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
7 |
Black Orc Blocker
|
4 | 4 | 2 | 9 | Block |
  | 13 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 13/ | 100k
(100)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
8 |
Black Orc Blocker
|
4 | 4 | 2 | 9 | Block |
  | 11 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 12/ | 100k
(100)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
9 |
Black Orc Blocker
|
4 | 4 | 2 | 9 |   | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/ | 80k
(80)k |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
11 |
Thrower
|
5 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Pass, Sure Hands Block |
  | 8 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 7/ | 90k
(60)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
13 |
Lineman
|
5 | 3 | 3 | 9 | Dirty Player |
  | 10 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6/ | 70k
(100)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
15 |
Lineman
|
5 | 3 | 3 | 9 |   | 15 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/ | 50k
(50)k |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
16 |
Goblin
|
6 | 2 | 3 | 7 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty |
  | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/ | 40k
(15)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
13 players | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Games Played: | 57 (24/15/18) | | | TD Diff: | 8 (72 - 64) | | | Cas Diff: | 30 (73/49/30 - 56/40/26) |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Last Opponent: Belibasta's Heretics |