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LIES, DAMNED LIES... IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE... "The Road to Glory begins with but a single Block..... from a rampaging Minotaur" sports comentator Gus “The Guts” Garsson "Three Cheers for the Scissor teams walking the line, Screams for all the Rock teams, they never bash alone, Huzzahs for the Paper teams doomed to die, Cries for all the damned, hunting a Prem throne On the Fields of Bloodshed, where the Glory lies. One Team to rule them all, a Talent Scout to find them, One Team to bring them all and there the Coach to bind them On the Fields of Bloodshed, where the Glory lies." graffiti found scratched into the wood panels under the bleachers at various stadiums frequented by the Chaos All Sorts "We take all sorts here.." Coach D_Arquebus ... & STATISTICS TROPHIES Night Patrol Regional LXIX TEAM RECORDS Biggest Crowd: 19k/ 38k 7th Rd Season 63 vs Redgum's Rodents 17k/ 38k 7th Rd Season 65 vs Urban Nightmare 19k/ 38k 2nd Rd Season 66 vs Blackwater Glee Club Biggest Match Purse: 80,000, Rd 7 Season 40 Bedouin Falcons 80,000, Rd 7 Season 62 Psych Labs 80,000, Rd 1 Season 61 Colour of Money 80,000, Rd 2 Season 65 Hostile Kiddies IV 80,000, Rd 7 Season 66 High Elvis 80,000, Rd 3 Season 69 Yutee'ess Tigerjets Most Popular: Fan Factor 11 Streaks Longest Winning / Longest Drawing / Longest Losing 3 Games* / 2 Games / 2 Games *broke the 2/2/2 on Game 69 Longest Undefeated 11 Best Victory: 4-0, Rd 3 Season 40 vs Nehams Manic Husks 4-0, Rd 2 Season 65 vs Hostile Kiddies IV Worst Defeat: 0-3, Rd 6 Season 62 vs Orcs for Correct Spelling AWARDS The SWL Season XXXX Awards Pandemonium - Highest number of blocks (66) The SWL Season LXII Awards Bedlam The Unofficial Maester Whippy Team Awards - Season 62 Season 62 Conference: Kills (4): Chaos All Sorts The SWL Season LXIX Awards Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 10 cas Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 4.3 block/cas Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 20 SPP Bedlam The Unofficial Maester Whippy Team Awards - Season 69 Season 69 Regional: TDs (13): Chaos All Sorts Cas (28): Chaos All Sorts SPP (94): Chaos All Sorts Rushing yards (258): Chaos All Sorts Blocks/Cas (10.5): Chaos All Sorts Pass/Cp (2.3): Chaos All Sorts LXIX SWL All Star Bedlam LXIX Rising-Stars Bedlam Caterwaul LXX Conference Rep team Monsterous FOUNDING TEAM Pandemonium**DECEASED** - STAR Bedlam ACTIVE - STAR Muddle ACTIVE - STAR Anarchy **DECEASED** - EMERGING STAR Clutter **DECEASED** - VETERAN Disarray *RETIRED* - VETERAN Tumult **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED Turmoil ACTIVE - SUPER STAR Discord ACTIVE - STAR Misrule **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED Disorder ACTIVE - SUPER STAR QUARTER CENTURIONS Pandemonium ***DECEASED** - STAR Bedlam * ACTIVE - STAR Muddle * ACTIVE - STAR Anarchy * **DECEASED** - EMERGING STAR Confusion **DECEASED** - VETERAN Disarray * *RETIRED* - VETERAN Tumult **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED Turmoil * ACTIVE - SUPER STAR Discord * ACTIVE - STAR Misrule * **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED Disorder * ACTIVE - SUPER STAR HALF CENTURIONS Pandemonium**DECEASED** - STAR Bedlam ACTIVE - STAR Muddle ACTIVE - STAR Anarchy **DECEASED** - EMERGING STAR Clutter **DECEASED** - VETERAN Disarray *RETIRED* - VETERAN Tumult **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED Turmoil ACTIVE - SUPER STAR Discord ACTIVE - STAR Misrule **DECEASED** - EXPERIENCED Disorder ACTIVE - SUPER STAR THE FALLEN SACRIFICES TO THE GODS Pandemonium Menace Mayhem Tumult RNG Tempestuous Apprehension Agitation Agression Anarchy Clutter PUT OUT TO STUD Viki Versa - NI Confusion -AG Disarray -ST Tempest -ST THE ILLUMINATED V.I.L.L.A.I.N.S Twas a bright Autumn day in the wastes as the good fellows of The Club sat in in the executive both, with good cheer and fine brandy flowing watching their HEROES run the pants off some upstart hobgoblins. Laughs were had, spirits were high until and a glorious long ball was thrown, spiraling deep into the opposition territory. And then it fell harmlessly to the ground with the Lion Warrior still staring into the sun looking for a clue. And then the crunch was heard by all. The laughs had stopped. The cheer had dissipated. Monocles were lowered. The brandy in the gold gilded cut crystal balloons had gone still. The members held their breath, for one of the favourites was trying vainly to rise to their feet, his ankle clearly twisted in a manner most foul as the medic rushed on to the field. And then he was still. So very, very still. A murmur went through the crowd. A legend had fallen, and this day had somehow darkened. The score no longer mattered, the coaches attention turned to more important matters; the organising of (another) journeyman, the hiring of a new player & subsequent training plan, and notifying the widow that her husband's neck had somehow been broken due to complications with a sprained ankle. "There has to be something that we can do to protect these fellows". Professor Daudy remarked "These HEROES bring such joy to the common people, and to have a day end like this is so... Regrettable." It's just the way they're built" offered Professor Semitenece, "I don't mean to be racist, but it's a known fact that for all their agility - elves have an Achilles zone, a weak spot if you will, located somewhere between the instep and the forehead." "Well, something has to be done, no-one like to watch someone murdered on a blood bowl field. It's just not family entertainment". Daudy added. "There was that red-headed chap last month" Doctor DustBunny interjected, not one to mince words. Daudy countered "Yes but that hardly counts, he was a referee. My point is that we should support these HEROES follows, since they formed at the start of the season interest has piqued and the game has been better for it." "But something is missing, they're just not living up to their potential. We've had week after week of lesion, laceration and amputation, punctuated by the occasional excellence in scoring. It should be the other way around." DustBunny sceptically added, polishing his monocle. "Undoubtedly." Daudy agreed "They seem to be mortally challenged. They're loved by the people, but they should be idolised. Ballads should be written. Songs should be sung. HEROES should be immortalised" "But they'll hardly amount to anything if the go around dying all day. You can't argue with those facts" Semitence said reaching for his top hat. The game today was approaching an end DustBunny thought hard, Daudy's wisdom providing the inspiration for a deeper thought on the matter. "I feel there's something that we could be doing, should be doing. What is it that HEROES need to be great? Methinks you're right, something else needs to be present in the SWL." "If only there was a way to gain information on how the inner workings of how a blood bowl players body functions. If someone could collate the information, and conduct a study, for academic purposes of course." Semitence mused. "Such research would need to be considerable and exhaustive. A cursory look would not suffice; we'd probably need to form some sort of official institute." DustBunny concluded. Brows were furrowed. Glances were exchanged. Long moustaches were twirled in deep thought. The silence was deafening until a voice came from the rear of the clubhouse "Noble scholars, we have the technology! Such a virtuous undertaking has to be done, and if it falls to us to give the HEROES what they need to be great, than that is a burden we must carry. No-one is better suited than us, we've taken the last 2 Trials of Blood and between us we've only lost 1 game this season" Doctor Chavo added. In that moment a purpose was born and glasses were raised to an illustrious honourable cause. And then the crunch was heard by all. Eyes turned back to the game as the referee lay motionless on the pitch. And they laughed and laughed and laughed... Season 69 Season 67 Season 66 2516 BobOrc Cup Season 65 Season 64 Season 63 Season 62 Season 61 Jose Rodriguez Retired due to AG Bust Game 4 Felicia Tigre Killed Game 4 with Apoth assistance returned for more examination. Andromache from Round 2 Match Deinomache III from Round 2 Match Season 41 Season 40 Cost of Playing Ball Spiraling Expenses 1,040k Season 40: 00k Season 41: 20k Season 61: 60k Season 62: 80k Season 63: 180k Season 64: 130k Season 65: 180k Bob Orc Cup**: 30k Season 66: 150k Season 67: 210k Butchers Bill TBC Season 40: 00k Season 41: 00k Season 61: 00k Season 62: 00k Season 63: 00k Season 64: 00k Season 65: 00k Bob Orc Cup**: 00k Season 66: 00k Season 67: 00k SYMPHONY of DESTRUCTION Circa 2511 - Joined SWL Season 40 with the influx of new blood We Fink We're Orks Conference - Season 40 Tavern Talk Results: 2/3/2 Position: 4th Coach's Thoughts: Outmuscled the Bash but were run rings around by the Agile teams in their first season. AWARDS: Pandemonium - Highest number of blocks(66) Season Scuttlebutt Chavo Asguard Conf (Sting excluded) {..ranking..} 1. All Sorts Angry Asgardians Conference - Season 41 Tavern Talk Results: 2/2/3 Position: 4th Coach's Thoughts: They came back against the speedy teams but were out-muscled and beaten down by the Bash this season. CAST ADRIFT - Seasons 42-60 Post Season 41 the C*A*S took an indefinite hiatus while Coach D_Arquebus took a tour the Old World. Returning to his home town he found the slavers had been through and with half the working age population gone he was consigned to the impenetrable darkness of the Salt Mines for the next several years to fill the work quotas. Having been released for good behaviour many years later he tried to resurrect the growing legend of the Chaos All Sorts into Season 60 of the SWL, but was devastated to find his fans had left and the team had let itself go. With an uncertain move to Albion beckoning Coach D_Arquebus chose not to consign another team of misfits to the same fate and set sail in search of the fabled Deserted Isles Fatema the Camel Regional - Season 61 Return to Glory... in the basement... Supplications to the "Powers that Be" were not in vain. Allowed full access back into their spawning grounds and proffered up a tasty sacrificial feast of blood stained offerings to put some meat back on their somewhat anemic looking bones. The Chaos All Sorts have a long haul to climb back up from the Reggies into some form of contention with the major players of the league, but as always they have fire in the eyes and a healthy appetite to get them there. Tavern Talk Results: 4*/2/1 Position: 2nd *One a forfeit from Prisoners of Pain (Ogres) Coach's Thoughts: Out-muscled some of the Fresh Meat bash teams but did not quite have the cage security against the Agile teams. Left Coast Style Conference - Season 62 Tavern Talk Results: 2/2/3 Position: 5th Coach's Thoughts: Season Scuttlebutt Terrence and Phillip (tussock) Image Chaos All Sorts. Rating: 188, treasury 200k. Have to expect them to struggle against the premier giants and speed of the others, should start well against the goblins. Tomay 29/36 Chaos All Sorts - Pact with 3 big guys are mediocre until I’m proven otherwise. Darq is a solid coach and the marauders are almost getting the versatility they need but I can’t get past those 3 Big Guys. Electrik Boogaloo Conference - Season 63 Tavern Talk Results: 2/4/1 Position: 4th Coach's Thoughts: Round 1: Horrors of Skye Round 2: Port Macquarie Snowleopards Round 3: Wonga Wonga Whalekillers Round 4: Nemesis Demons Round 5: Daemon Ex Tesserae Round 6: Blackwater Glee Club Round 7: Redgum's Rodents Season Scuttlebutt: Terrence and Phillip (Tussock): Chaos All Sorts Rating 205, treasury 300k. Just the fifth season of play for this ancient team, their three giants still growing by the match may one day threaten the best of them. Semitence: The Chaos All Sorts have a delightful smattering of skills but will be heavily reliant on the unreliable big guys. If D_Arquebus can survive *that turn* each game, should continue to be able to build on a solid regional performance... ..Spoonerific: I think it'll be a pact team [C*A*S or Demons]. Toss a coin. Tomay: 20: Chaos All Sorts (+9) Dead Rat Walking Conference - Season 64 Tavern Talk Results: 1/2/4 Position: 6th Coach's Thoughts: Back to the drawing board :P Good, Bad, Furry Conference - Season 65 Tavern Talk Result: 2/4/1 Place: 4th Season Scuttlebutt Tomay: 25. Chaos All Sorts [-3]: Consistently ok. Terrence and Phillip (Tussock): Chaos All Sorts Rating 211, 300k banked. 6th season and starting to show their age, they'll be looking to develop their stars and get the whole pact back together, not to mention promotion if the big boys keep their heads. Coach's Thoughts Round 1: SWL Fun Police One of the feared enforcers and founders of V*I*L*L*I*A*N*S, this game may make or break the season for the C*A*S out of the gates. Will the season be one to aim for Prem or just one to rebuild the team... cause against these Bad Boys even a win can lose you your team... Round 2: Hostile Kiddies IV A victory against the Hostile Kiddies in their return to SWL in Reggies saw a victory but at the cost of many a bruise and battering amongst the C*A*S. Coming off the back of the Fun Police this may well be the nail in the coffin of the C*A*S season hopes... echoes of Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire ringing in his ears, will D_Arquebus' dark horses be able to win this rematch? Round 3: Macabre Morticians Young team, but Coaches Tribalsinner and D_Arquebus have tangled many a time in the tournament circuit and in SLOBB. Tribal tends to get the advantage in laying a beat down on D_Arquebus' teams and sometimes following up with the attritional win. Coming off the back of two bruising games first up the All Sorts may be in all sorts.... of trouble with this match up. Round 4: Daemon Ex Tesserae Elves that flew too close to the Sun too soon? The last time these two met the C*A*S turned it on for an powerful display winning 3-0 and taking a CAS count in their favour for a change. 3 games of grind remains to be seen if there is anything left to defend against the talents Bob and his High Flying.. men? Round 5: Colour of Money Only one match before in Colours previous trip to the Conferences. An anything but conclusive match saw a victory to the C*A*S but honors about equal on beat down. Coming after the potential recovery match vs the Daemons and a tough first 4 games, the goblins have to be asking... will C*A*S have anything to play for except their namesake...? Round 6: Southern Warpstone Scavengers This fellow For-lorn team is starting to make a name For-itself... if only for their die hard optimism. But they get to play with the big boys now... the C*A*S have been matching themselves against these monsters for some time now and will plan to make this match up a resounding exclamation point of dieing hard for these rookies first time in the Conferences. Round 7: Fatality101 The C*A*S have a decidedly avg match history against Chaos Dwarf sides... but these guys have a ways to go before they build the Bullocks the Colliders carrying about in their back pocket. The main up side for C*A*S is that these guys will also have to go through the meat tenderizer that is this division and particularly the Fun Police 2 games earlier. May be mopping up the pieces. BOBOrc Cup - 2516 Tavern Talk 0/0/1 and Out Lost Pandemonium, Dark Lore, and Discord lost a step. Coaches Thoughts: Out muscled and out CASed if not out positioned by another brute Rock team. Consistently poor footwork, evasion, and ball handling helped to end the dream. Black Crowes Conference - Season 66 Tavern Talk Results: 4/2/1 Position: 3rd Coaches Thoughts: ROCKs suck :P Paper needs careful tearing to avoid paper cuts :O Scissors smash good >:) Don't grip Dynamite too tight or you'll lose your hand... :P Southside Stone Smashers Conference LXVII Tavern Talk Results: 2/1/4 Position: 7th :( Coaches Thoughts: Tumbling down down to Reggies... 1 - Domestic Blitz - Floundering Loss 2 - Port Macquarie Snowleopards - Wipe Out Win 3 - Griffon Gate Sentinels - Monstered them for DE Fail 4 - Steaked - Hypnotised.... 5 - Office Rats - Slipped through the fingers 6 - Freezy Trees - Arm Wrestin Win 7 - Madness Mountain Misery - MIstakes were made Away to the Old World S68-BobOrc 2517 Tavern Talk S68 Tavern Talk BobOrc Cup 2517 Results: N/A Position: N/A Coaches Thoughts:Guinness is GUD! :D Night Patrol Regional (69) Tavern Talk Results: 5/2/0 Position: 1st Place Coaches Thoughts:XXX Regional: TDs (13): Chaos All Sorts Cas (28): Chaos All Sorts SPP (94): Chaos All Sorts Rushing yards (258): Chaos All Sorts Blocks/Cas (10.5): Chaos All Sorts Pass/Cp (2.3): Chaos All Sorts The Unofficial Maester Whippy Dean Douglas Sundae Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 20 spp The SWL Season LXIX Awards Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 10 cas Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 4.3 block/cas Bedlam (Chaos All Sorts) 20 SPP LXIX SWL All Star Bedlam LXIX Rising-Stars Bedlam Caterwaul |
Player | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Skills | Inj | G | Cp | Td | It | Cs | Mvp | SPP | Cost | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 |
Minotaur
|
5 | 5 | 2 | 8 | Frenzy, Horns, Loner, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Wild Animal Juggernaut, Guard |
  | 16 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 10 | 0 | 20/31 | 190k
(150+40)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
2 |
Ogre
|
5 | 5 | 2 | 9 | Bone-head, Loner, Mighty Blow, Thick Skull, Throw Team-Mate Block, Claw, Guard |
  | 15 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 12 | 2 | 36/51 | 220k
(140+80)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
3 |
Troll
|
4 | 5 | 1 | 9 | Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate Guard, Stand Firm |
  | 16 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 18/31 | 150k
(110+40)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
4 |
Renegade Dark Elf Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | Animosity Wrestle, Tackle, Horns |
  | 16 | 2 | 6 | 0 | 4 | 1 | 33/51 | 130k
(70+60)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
5 |
Renegade Orc Lineman
|
4 | 3 | 3 | 9 | Animosity Block |
-ma | 15 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 9/16 | 70k
(50+20)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
7 |
Renegade Goblin
|
6 | 2 | 3 | 7 | Animosity, Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty Sure Feet |
  | 16 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 6/16 | 60k
(40+20)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
8 |
Renegade Human Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 |   | 7 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 50k
(50+0)k |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
9 |
Renegade Human Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block, Tackle |
  | 15 | 0 | 3 | 0 | 4 | 0 | 17/31 | 90k
(50+40)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
10 |
Renegade Human Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block, Tackle |
  | 16 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 2 | 21/31 | 90k
(50+40)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
11 |
Renegade Human Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 4 | 8 | +AG, Dodge, Block |
  | 16 | 2 | 9 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 49/51 | 140k
(50+90)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
12 |
Renegade Human Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Block, Mighty Blow |
  | 14 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 2 | 25/31 | 90k
(50+40)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
13 |
Renegade Human Lineman
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 |   | 7 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0/6 | 50k
(50+0)k |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
12 players | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Games Played: | 98 (39/31/28) | | | TD Diff: | 14 (135 - 121) | | | Cas Diff: | 61 (158/93/31 - 135/64/22) |
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Last Opponent: Har Ganeth Hellebores 2016 |