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"Prancing Unicorns?!" The CEO of Dark-side Bloodbowl Pty Ltd screamed at the coach Keothi, "What kind of a name is THAT for a Heavy-Duty Orc team? Sounds like the kind of foppish Elf-team name that I'd expect to see from the elf-lovers over in the Southern Wastes! Explain yourself!" Keothi smiled and leaned back in his coaching chair... "Yes, we're a heavy-duty Orc team, with the best players recruited from the Empire and the Rebel Alliance and yes our team name/logo looks like it belongs to the House of Elrond. Confusing isn't it? Well, I like to sow seeds of doubt into the minds of my opponents and this combination will certainly have them scratching their heads. Luke Skywalker our young Jedi is coming along nicely, he has mastered the ways of the Force, is the team's first Legend and is causing a stir in the Southern Wastes Bloodbowl League. His contract will need re-negotiating soon and although expensive, I think he's worth the price. Bloodweiser, the brewery have also offered a sponsorship deal for his sister Leia, as she's also a star attraction at our games. Not many girls on an Orc side, so she has definite market appeal... Speaking of, Jaja is annoying, but we were forced by marketing to hire him. Something about appealing to the younger generation and broadening our demograph of appeal, not to mention the Jaja plushy dolls that sell like hot-cakes every game. Poor Obewan Kenobi has retired from numerous injuries on the field and who am I to deny him his retirement and generous benefits package? But he's still there in the background guiding Luke and now Rey.. Who else? Hmm, our front pack is looking solid with the Chancellor replacement Wookie and Ewok II all figuring out how to handle a hit or two and throw their support where needed.. You know the Chancellor moves very nimbly on the field for a big boy. Then there's Han Solo and Darth Maul, both of them have taken to Bloodbowl like they were born to it, I expect those two boys to continue to dominate the midfield and keep our opponents on their toes. Of course, everyone laughed when I suggested putting a droid on the field, but with some reprogramming and then a leg servo motor upgrade to increase his speed, C3PO has repaid my coaching decision in spades. That robot can anticipate the kick, scoop up the ball and hurl it down-field like a seasoned veteran of Bloodbowl, both those with a pulse and those without. And he's also got a sharp boot! Oh, do you remember the time he smashed in Clark's leg? Sure the ref saw it and sent him off, but the fans loved it and I spoke to him in the dugout, telling him it was the right choice and worth the risk. I'll bet that furball Clark thinks of C3PO every time he limps onto the pitch... That's the core team, just leaving our older veteran Jedi Qui-Gon Jin, he has strengthened in the ways of the Force increasing his agility and has a remarkably accurate boot! Mace Windu has also agreed to join the team and enjoys dragging his foes down and then kicking them when down to keep them there. Yoda is getting old, slow, less agile and his injuries have taken their toll... With regret I have approved his request to retire from the side at the end of Season LXIX. I had heard of another droid that was interested in playing Bloodbowl, called R2D2 so I've added him to the roster and I've recruited another talented young Jedi, by the name of Rey - Daughter of Han and Leia. It will be good for the fans to have another talented girl on the pitch to cheer! I think that the Unicorns will continue to develop in strength and skill. I've got faith in this side. May the Force be with them. Team Awards from the SWL Record Page TEAM SEASON RECORD Tightest (Lowest TD for + against)* (9) Prancing Unicorns (Keothi) Martha The Stout Regional LX TEAM RECORDS PER GAME Immortals (Least Deaths per Game)* Prancing Unicorns(Keothi) 6 Deaths in 75 games 0.08 Deaths per game Lowest Intercepts (most games) Prancing Unicorns (Keothi) 0 Int in 75 games **** Season History (Most recent to Trial of Blood) **** Team finally finishes in SWL with a positive Win/Tie/Loss ratio 29:18:28 Kowabunga Connection Conference LXX Conference Team Award LXX Kills (4): Prancing Unicorns Second Place (possible Prem promotion as equal 2nd best 2nd place) 4 Wins, 2 Ties, 1 Loss The Unicorns did very well this season. First game a loss; 0-1 against a well coached Dwarf team; Manzoo's Striking Thunderbeards. From there however the team and coach pulled their socks up. Improvements on defence - The Unicorns only had 3 Touchdowns scored against them over the entire Conference. And a bungled chainpush 1TTD on T16 (Failed GFI on the TD line by Luke Skywalker) against Tomay's Compare the Meerkat would have meant a 2-1 win and would have delivered the Unicorn's their Second Conference Title. Sadly it was not to be and Tomay played a very solid Season with 5 wins, 2 Ties, 0 Losses. It wasn't all roses though! Luke Skywalker suffered -AG to a gang foul against the Wonga Wonga Whalekillers and poor Ewok (II) suffered a smashed knee (NI) against the same side. But Princess Leia made it into the SWL Records Page as the highest SPP Orc Troll Positional. All in all, a strong season from the Unicorns and I would have loved taking this team to Premier League... However, the winds of change are blowing in the Southern Wastes and Luke may need to lead his side into the Fringe. Adelaide Anvils Conference LXIX 3 Wins, 1 Tie, 3 Losses The Unicorns finished middle of the Conference table (4th out of 8). An average performance with much room for improvement. Some lessons to be learned here, hopefully the Unicorns perform better in their Conference Division in Season LXX. The team is [mostly] intact. Darth Maul narrowly avoided death from the bloodthirsty Hungrinir [Yhetee] when he played against the Wonga Wonga Whalekillers; but he was stretchered off the pitch with a broken neck [-AG] after some swift doctoring. A couple of Unicorns will miss the first game of the Season due to serious injuries sustained against DDS' Lizard side and thankfully Samaranthae's beast of a side will be up in Prem causing carnage and mayhem where they belong :) SWL Bob Borc Cup II The Unicorns dusted themselves off and regrouped after losing two of their star players; Ewok and Obewan Kenobi. Three Swiss Rounds saw the Unicorns battle for 3 Ties, which was insufficient to make the cut for the final 8 contenders in BBCII. But the team was happy enough with their performances over the three games, no losses against some tough coaches, the ties were as enjoyable as wins and the it was a great three games to blood the rookies and slot them into the ranks, thus readying the team for Season LXIX. SWL Season LXVIII ** Out of Play ** SWL Premier League LXVII 0 Wins, 0 Ties, 3 Losses and 4 Forfeits On the back of a terrific Conference Season, Coach Keothi and the Unicorns suffered badly in Premier League and in 'RL'. The season was one of sadness and loss both on and off the pitch. The Unicorns reluctantly bowed out of SWL midway through the competition and sat out for the next Season as well. Blue Mountain Dragons Conference LXVI Conference Champion 5 Wins, 0 Ties, 2 Losses Lucky to win in H2H against the other Conference leaders: RedMaul and buuface which gave the Unicorns the Conference Title. The losses were against eganra's Skaven and a Nuffle blessed game for almic's well coached Underworld team. A tough Conference against the likes of (in order of play): buuface's "Banner of the Black Stag" [1-0] WIN tussock's heavy-weight Goblin Team "Bribery and Corruption" [3-1] WIN eganra's "Psych Lab" [1-2] LOSS PatDragon's "Wildcard Nats" [2-0] WIN Irgy's "Eau de Toilet" [2-1] WIN RedMaul's "Asha'maniacs" [1-0] WIN almic85's "Southern Warpstone Scavengers" [1-3] LOSS The Unicorns/Keothi started the season ranked 36/38 according to Tomay's team/coach assessment: Tomay quote: "36. Prancing Unicrons [+4]: Keothi has been watching some games and his team is cool. I hope he is the next guy I’m calling a big improver." SWL Season LXVI Forum Pretty chuffed to win this Season =) Schola Conference LXV Finished 7th out of 8 2 Wins, 2 Ties, 3 Losses Awarded the winner of most Rushing yards (269): Prancing Unicorns (Which was most rushing yards in any competition, including Premier) Hoping for a more consistent performance next conference. King Jareth Regional LXIV Finished 9th out of 10 2 Wins, 2 Ties, 3 Losses Harlequins of Despair Conference LXIII Finished 7th out of 8 1 Win, 3 Ties, 3 Losses SWL Jetta Regional LXII Finished 4th out of 8 3 Wins, 1 Tie, 3 Losses Fatema The Camel Regional LXI Finished 5th out of 10 3 Wins, 1 Tie, 3 Losses Martha The Stout Regional LX Finished 6th out of 10 2 Wins, 3 Ties, 2 Losses ** Trial of Blood ** 6 Games Played 4 Wins, 2 Losses Placed 4th out of 24 in Trial of Blood. Notable achievements: Least games played (6 vs 7,7 and 11 games for positions 3rd, 2nd and 1st). Luke Skywalker: just pipped to the post for star player of the Trial of Blood (most SPPs earned) by Stonetroll, past player of Dustbunny's Madness Mountain Misery. |
Player | Ma | St | Ag | Av | Skills | Inj | G | Cp | Td | It | Cs | Mvp | SPP | Cost | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1 |
Troll
|
4 | 5 | 1 | 9 | Always Hungry, Loner, Mighty Blow, Really Stupid, Regeneration, Throw Team-Mate Block, Strong Arm, Guard, Pro, Dodge |
  | 76 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 31 | 6 | 92/176 | 240k
(110+130)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
2 |
Black Orc Blocker
|
4 | 4 | 2 | 9 | Block, Side Step, Dodge, Guard |
  | 74 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 15 | 5 | 55/76 | 180k
(80+100)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
3 |
Black Orc Blocker
|
4 | 4 | 2 | 9 | Block, Stand Firm |
  | 20 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 17/31 | 120k
(80+40)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
4 |
Blitzer
|
6 | 3 | 2 | 9 | Block Guard, Tackle, Mighty Blow, Grab, Stand Firm |
-ag | 68 | 1 | 5 | 0 | 38 | 4 | 112/176 | 180k
(80+100)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
5 |
Blitzer
|
8 | 3 | 3 | 9 | Block +MA, Frenzy, Tackle, Dauntless, +MA |
  | 73 | 2 | 13 | 0 | 23 | 2 | 97/176 | 200k
(80+120)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
6 |
Blitzer
|
7 | 5 | 3 | 9 | Block +ST, +MA, +AG, +ST, Sure Hands, Stand Firm |
-ag | 75 | 11 | 41 | 0 | 12 | 8 | Legend 198 |
290k
(80+210)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
7 |
Blitzer
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 9 | Block Guard, Tackle, Mighty Blow |
  | 19 | 0 | 6 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 32/51 | 140k
(80+60)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
8 |
Black Orc Blocker
|
4 | 4 | 2 | 9 | Block, Guard, Dodge |
n | 17 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 6 | 34/51 | 150k
(80+70)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
9 |
Thrower
|
6 | 3 | 3 | 8 | Pass, Sure Hands Leader, Block, +MA, Kick-Off Return, Accurate |
  | 75 | 65 | 3 | 0 | 7 | 4 | 108/176 | 180k
(70+110)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
11 |
Goblin
|
6 | 2 | 3 | 6 | Dodge, Right Stuff, Stunty Diving Tackle, Catch, Side Step, Block |
-av | 75 | 1 | 6 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 54/76 | 130k
(40+90)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
12 |
Black Orc Blocker
|
4 | 4 | 2 | 8 | Dodge, Block, Guard |
-av | 44 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 6 | 44/51 | 150k
(80+70)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
13 |
Lineman
|
5 | 3 | 4 | 9 | Kick, +AG, Block |
  | 59 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 4 | 32/51 | 130k
(50+80)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
15 |
Lineman
|
4 | 3 | 3 | 9 | Dirty Player, Wrestle |
-ma, m | 28 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 20/31 | 90k
(0)k |
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||
12 players (+1 player missing next game) | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Games Played: | 78 (29/19/30) | | | TD Diff: | -12 (88 - 100) | | | Cas Diff: | 72 (122/58/22 - 73/51/6) |
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Last Opponent: Billabong Bunyips |