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Da Hui
Roster [R] Necromantic Horror

Da Hui

Chapter 0

Coach Robsson came round slowly and tried not to move too fast, or at all, in fact. He certainly didn't try opening his eyes. If hangovers were Bloodbowl players, this one would definitely be Taku the Second, thumping its way up the list of Most Casualties in a Single Match. The details of last night were still a bit vague... he remembered the cask of Bretonnian wine, and the dark elf cheerleaders, and that one raven-haired beauty in particular, but after that things got a bit fuzzy.

But now he could hear the roar of the pre-match crowd, and could smell the... well, they must have left him to sleep it off in the team's changing room, bundled up with the dirty under-garments after morning practice. He'd have words with them later for that. But first things first - there was a match to win. The White Men in Black Suits, his soon-to-be-vaguely-famous wood elves were about to play... to play...

"Coach Robsson?"
He cautiously opened one eye. "What?"
The figure gazing down at him lept back and punched the air in triumph. "Yes! It worked. Praise the gods."
Robsson opened the other eye, and tried to close his ears at the same time. "What worked? Who are you? Where am I? What's going on?"
The figure reached down, took one of Robsson's hands and shook it vigorously. "Ebeneezer of Giza, Dread Lord of the Foul Lands of the Blighted... look, never mind. Just call me Ebeneezer the Geezer. I'm a necromancer, and as of two days ago, I'm also the proud owner of this lot." He spread his arms wide to reveal the rest of the changing room. Robsson took a quick look around. Then he closed his eyes, shook his head - which was a mistake - and took another look around, hoping that things might have changed in the meantime. They hadn't. He was surrounded by monsters. Ugly, smelly, vile-looking monsters, who were all dressed in what could only be described as really, really old armour, tattered clothes and flies. Then the penny dropped. Robsson had a quick count. There were eleven of them. They were dressed in armour, and the rags they wore underneath were all just about the same colour.
"I get it. You bought yourself a team of undead Bloodbowl players."
Ebeneezer looked shocked. "I didn't buy them, I won them in a game of dice."
"And what? You want to play them against my wood elves?"
"Not exactly, no." He paused, trying to find the right words, then gave up. "No time for long explanations. Here's the deal. I have a team, we have a match due to start in five minutes and we'll be disqualified if we don't have a registered coach to lead them. I didn't have time to advertise on the bulletin boards, so I had to improvise. You're the result."
"What?" Robsson's brain was finally beginning to get up to speed. It wasn't exactly sprinting like a wood elf yet, but it was at least outrunning a halfling. "But I've already got a team. And even if I didn't, league rules state that undead teams have to be coached by undead coaches. I don't qualify."
Ebeneezer had the decency to look embarrassed. "Actually, you do."
"What?"
"It happened last night. You probably don't remember. You were a little worse for wear at the time."
"How?"
"Well, it had something to do with one of the dark elf cheerleaders..."
"Oh."

Dying, Robsson thought. Actually, it wasn't anything like as upsetting as he'd imagined it would be, and was certainly a lot less painful than he'd expected. These days death wasn't necessarily the end of everything, it was just the start of the next chapter, especially for a Bloodbowl player - or coach. There were plenty of guys whose careers had only come alive after they were dead. Maybe he could be one of them. Maybe he could be the best of them.

He looked around at his team. They didn't look like much, but already he was having ideas. Sure, it might take a while for them to be bashed into shape, but one thing to be said for undead teams - they had time on their side. It may take a few games, or it may take a few seasons, but he'd get there in the end. He smiled. He might well be dead, but Coach Robsson was back in business and he was about to introduce the Bloodbowl world to the all new, all-star... He paused.
"One question."
"Shoot."
"What's the name of my team?"
Ebeneezer shrugged. "Um, actually, I hadn't got that far yet. I was hoping maybe you might have some ideas."
"I have a few."

Just then one of the referees stuck his head round the side of the blood-stained sheet that was serving as a door. "Time's up, Geezer. You got an official team, or not?"
"Yes, I do."
"With a coach?"
"With a coach."
"And a name?"
Ebeneezer looked hopefully at Robsson. Robsson looked hopefully at his new team. In life he'd had only two passions - well, three if you counted dark elf cheerleaders, but he wasn't right now. One was Bloodbowl, and in particular the passing game which was, in his opinion, the purest, the most elegant and most exciting way to play. His second passion had been for the ocean, and he'd always planned to retire to a small place by the sea, to live out his remaining days listening to the roar of the waves and tasting the salt on the breeze. Well, retirement was not an option now, but the ocean still could be. He'd convince Ebeneezer to relocate the team to one of the coastal regions where he would train them night and day - or just night for those who weren't fans of sunlight - until they could long bomb and diving catch and intercept with the best of them. And, goddammit, he would teach them to surf.
"Name?" the referee repeated.
"Da Hui," Robison told him.
'Da what?"
'Da Hui. If you don't know, look it up." He turned to face his team. " Now lads... and other things... let's get out there and show the crowd what we're made of!"
New Team Page Beta
Player Ma St Ag Av Skills Inj G Cp Td It Cs Mvp SPP Cost  
1
Kornelius Kane
Wight Blitzer
7 3 3 8
Block, Regeneration
Tackle, +MA
   17 0 3 0 1 2 21/31 140k
(90+50)k
  
2
Ivan the Terribly
Wight Blitzer
6 3 3 8
Block, Regeneration
Dodge, Tackle
   17 0 2 0 6 1 23/31 140k
(90+50)k
  
3
Sanjlfrntyg
Flesh Golem
4 4 2 9
Regeneration, Stand Firm, Thick Skull
Block, Guard
   17 0 0 0 2 3 19/31 150k
(110+40)k
  
4
Number Eight
Flesh Golem
4 4 2 9
Regeneration, Stand Firm, Thick Skull
Block
   17 0 0 0 3 1 11/16 130k
(110+20)k
  
5
Celandril Autumnleaf
Werewolf
8 3 5 8
Claw, Frenzy, Regeneration
Block, +AG, +AG
   17 3 7 0 5 0 34/51 220k
(120+100)k
  
6
Feccia
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
Kick
   13 0 0 0 2 1 9/16 60k
(40+20)k
  
7
Jeremiah the Forsaken
Ghoul Runner
8 4 3 7
Dodge
+ST, +MA
   5 0 5 0 0 1 20/31 150k
(70+80)k
  
8
Tobias the Outcast
Ghoul Runner
7 3 3 7
Dodge
Sure Hands, Sure Feet, Pass
   16 7 5 0 0 2 32/51 140k
(70+70)k
  
9
Kaaaal
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
Block
   17 0 0 0 1 1 7/16 60k
(40+20)k
  
11
O-fish
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
Block
   17 0 0 0 2 1 9/16 60k
(40+20)k
  
12
Richard Dirtyrock
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
Block
   11 0 0 0 2 1 9/16 60k
(40+20)k
  
13
Mormimuh
Zombie
4 3 2 8
Regeneration
Guard
   4 0 0 0 1 1 7/16 70k
(40+30)k
  
12 players  
Coach: Stikki Re-Rolls (140k): 5  
Race: Necromantic Horror Fan Factor: 11  
Current Team Value: 1870k (±540) Assistant Coaches: 1  
Treasury: 80k Cheerleaders: 2  
Team Value: 1870k Apothecary: No  

Games Played:17 (8/4/5) |TD Diff:13 (30 - 17) |Cas Diff:1 (13/10/4 - 12/7/7)
Last Opponent: Harpooners