Sung by 'Obgob supporters on the terraces whenever Fernando gets a casualty:

Can you crush the bums Fernando?
I remember long ago another bloody night like this
Under stadium lights Fernando
You were humming to yourself and briskly sharpening your horns
I could hear the distant drums
And sounds of screaming elves were coming from afar

They were closer now Fernando
Every hour every minute seemed to last eternally
They were kicking off Fernando
We were green and drunk as hell and all of us prepared to die
And I’m not ashamed to say
The roar of orcs and gobbos almost made me cry

Bodies flying through the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
Fans were cheering there for you and me
For casualties, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
There’s no regret
If I had to play the game again
I would, my friend, Fernando

Now we’re old and grey Fernando
All these many years I've never seen a halfling in the stands
Can you crush the bums Fernando?
Do you still recall the rainy night we smashed that catcher's hand?
I can see it in your eyes
How proud you were to fight for touchdowns in this land

Bodies flying through the air that night
The stars were bright, Fernando
Fans were cheering there for you and me
For casualties, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
There’s no regret
If I had to load the game again
I would, my friend, Fernando

Bodies flying through the air that night
Their blood was bright, Fernando
Fans were cheering there for you and me
For casualties, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
There’s no regret
If I had to watch that game again
I would, my friend, Fernando
Yes, if I had to play that game again
I would, my friend, Fernando...

-with profoundest apologies to the nation of Sweden