(14 November 2018, Andaman Islands, India) John Allen Chau, a self proclaimed world explorer inspired by Livingston and Jesus, was killed by the very tribe of natives he was offering eternal life. According to the BBC in Delhi, Chau bribed six fishermen to ferry him to the off-limits island so he could offer the Sentinelese tribe gifts of scissors, a soccer ball, and Jesus.

In a letter he wrote to his family, this Vancouver resident and Alabama native said he wanted to make contact with the 60,000 year old tribe because "The eternal [life] of this [Sentinelese] tribe is at hand."

He paddled to the island in a kayak and was immediately "attacked by arrows but continued walking," stated the global news agency AFP. The fishermen then witnessed the natives "tying a rope around his neck and dragging his body" along the shore. They were clearly rejecting his gifts.

The tribe, the most isolated on earth, has taken a well documented, zero tolerance approach to visitors since a British occupation almost wiped them out during the 1800's. It's no surprise Chau's remains remain unrecovered.

Was he a martyr as friends claim on Instagram? a missionary according to his parents? or just a selfish selfie seeker? or a genocidal maniac bringing the tribe life threatening disease, as his bible quote from Revelations 7 indicates? He said he wanted to "see them around the throne of God worshiping in their own language as Revelation 7:9-10 states." We'll never truly know the answer, since the tribe doesn't seem to have updated their social media accounts in quite some time.

https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2018-13.html

(3 September 2018, New Zealand) Sometimes the fastest method results in the deadliest outcome. The tale of Howard Miller, 39, professional welder and Darwin Award Winner, illustrates the pitfalls of ignoring high school chemistry with a time-saving invention.

Always helpful, Miller spent his last moments helping a friend weld an exhaust pipe onto a classic Holden Kingswood sedan. He arrived at the garage shed with an experimental welding kit: an LPG bottle, similar to a propane tank, in which he had mixed both components that make up oxy-acetylene welding gas: acetylene and oxygen.

Now, that last detail should send a shiver down any welder's spine! Professional welders know that these components are kept in separate tanks because, when combined, they burn hot enough to cut metal. A tank of mixed acetylene/oxygen + no flow regulator = an accident waiting to happen.

Like a scene from Breaking Bad, Mr. Miller had unwittingly constructed a lethal explosive!

Once Miller unveiled his jury-rigged device, his friend regognized this dangerous equation and repeatedly warned that it was crazy! Finally he high-tailed it out of the shed while Miller, undeterred by a bit of panic, attachec a torch head straight onto the bottle and lit the welding tip.

Sans regulator, the flame crept back into the bottle and the inevitable explosion flattened the shed, which also contained about twenty litres of paint thinner and gasoline. The force of the explosion was so intense it shattered the windows of neighboring properties.

Needless to say, the friend is in need a new car.

The deceased winner, a gentle and generous man, would surely be grateful to know that no one else was hurt in the fracas. And as a consolation prize, his tragic experiment will benefit others by demonstrating a potential consequence of skipping chemistry class.

https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2018-15.html

(5 May 2018, Odisha, India) Driving home from a wedding, Prabhu Bhatara idled the car on the roadside to relieve himself in the woods. From a squatting position he spied an INJURED bear--but instead of calling the authorities to help the bear, he opted to get a #selfie with the distressed animal.

Meanwhile, instead of intervening, the passengers in his car pulled out their mobiles and filmed the carnage...

As he neared the bear, the passengers advised him against his plan. Mr. Bhatara, however, was determined to fulfill his selfie mission. Once he was within reaching distance, though, the bear was not as injured as it seemed (or it was just having a bad hair day) and lunged forward, pinning Mr. Bhatara to the ground, "killing him on the spot," according to Forest ranger Dhanurjaya Mohapatra.

Then, perhaps disgusted at this epic display of homo-sapien apathy, a stray dog joined the fray in an attempt to save the man, and tried to fight off the bear! The bear, however, seemed to believe that the world had one too many selfie-seeking humans and finished off poor Mr. Bhatara.

According to media reports, once the body was retrieved, forest officials treated the bear for its injuries. The dog, although probably still disgusted, was unharmed.

https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2018-17.html

(28 January 2018, Selangor Malaysia) Zaim Kosnan spotted a twelve-foot reticulated python dozing on the side of the road. "That sizeable snake is worth money!" The 35-year-old prepared for this windfall with gloves and a sickle.

Sweet success! Swiftly was the first round won, and triumphantly Zaim held the reptile's head high as he transported it home by motorbike. Picture that crazy scene.

Swinging in the air, the displeased captive made a counter-move and wrapped its body round and round its captor, constricting in self-defense. Zaim swerved off the road and the results of Round Two became apparent to passers-by the next morning. They killed The 3.5 meter snake to free the man's body, and a post-mortem confirmed his death by strangulation.

Zaim Khalis was described as a quiet person who kept to himself.

https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2018-06.html

(30 January 2018, Gaza) A sexagenarian was examining his personal weapon in his home when he inadvertently discharged it into his face! Twenty-one days after accidentally shooting himself, Abu Hamam, 62, succumbed to the self-inflicted head-bang and died clutching a Darwin Award. But, who is Abu Hamam?

Abu is known to the world as Imad al-Alami, a founding member of Hamas, a militant group that has been the de facto governing authority of the Gaza Strip since 2007. Mr Alami served as Hamas' main envoy to Iran, a military and financial backer, during several wars with Israel. Although declared a specially designated global terrorist by the United States, in recent years Abu Hamam was a key negotiator in Hamas ceasefire talks with Israel, and in the 2011 release of a captured Israeli soldier.

"Hamas was Abu Hamam and Abu Hamam was Hamas," said Hamas Politburo Chief Haniyeh. One would assume that a senior member of Hamas knows how to handle a gun--yet Abu's incautious "personal weapons inspection" was unexpectedly daft. This Darwin Award's for you, Mr. Alami.

https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2018-02.html

(8 September 2018, Massachusetts) An evening Booze Cruise in Boston Harbor led to the death of a 21-year-old man who was performing handstands on the railing of the ferry. Ordered to "stand down" from the rail by crew, acrobatic Aaron Dibella sneaked back up as soon as the crew turned their backs. He was performing a maneuver described as "a type of vertical pushup" when his hands faltered and he toppled overboard into the Boston Harbor.

Perhaps he could not swim? The crew snapped into action, focused a spotlight on Aaron, tossed him a life preserver, leapt into the harbor and swam to within five feet of the booze-cruiser... but sadly he sank before they could snag him. Coast Guard spokesperson Nicole Groll said, "We launched all our assets" upon receiving the report of a person overboard, but to little avail. His body was found by divers three hours later.

Young men feel immortal. They show off their physical prowess with rousing confidence. Unfortunately their human mortality is all too real. May this be a caution to others to reign in the confidence that leads to catastrioge. There is a joke here about sperm and swimmers, but I can't find it.

https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2018-12.html

(28 November 2019, Maine) Ronald Cyr, 65, was shot dead on Thanksgiving evening in the rural town of Van Buren. Upon investigation, it was determined that the shooter was none other than Ronald Cyr himself.

To protect his family jewelry, this Maine coon decided on a DIY approach. Recalling his childhood, when a loose tooth was tied to a doorknob and he was told by Papa, "When I slam this door that tooth will shoot out of your mouth like a bullet!" our man rigged a handgun trigger to pull when the door was opened - by unauthorized personnel, natch.

This and other booby traps were installed about the property with the confidence of an idiot savant. Imagine the harm that could befall an unwitting visitor to this Maine home on the Canada border.

Thankfully no harm came to random passers by, because it was the homeowner himself who accidentally triggered the discharge of the jury-rigged home protection bullet that ended his life. Darwin Award Winner #932 We Salute You!

https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2019-03.html

(16 November 2015, Croatia) Bojan Bešic was a petty criminal who spent much of his life in prisons. A small-time crook with a police dossier as extensive as the literary works of Tolstoy, Bojan's career was marked by persistence rather than success. For example, death letters persistently sent to his ex-girlfriend landed the criminal 'mastermind' in Pula to serve an eight-month sentence, adding to a cumulative 5 years already spent behind bars.

During his incarceration, Bojan's behavior was so 'outstanding' that on a fateful Monday the prison guards locked him in a padded cell in solitary confinement. Little did they suspect that the cool-down time would leave him literally more hot-headed than before. The brilliant prisoner had managed to smuggle a lighter into the rubber room!

Both hands were cuffed behind his back, but that did not prevent our persistent pal from retrieving the lighter and flicking the Bic. Captured on video, at 3:35PM, Bojan strikes the lighter and purposely starts a fire near the door. The video, tactfully edited, shows the euphoria of the moment as the rubber wall begins to ablaze. As he nonchalantly swaggers around his tomb, the fire grows. Suddenly panic sets in as Bojan realizes that suffocation is imminent! What a surprise.

The prison guards were really not expecting the cell to burst into flames, and why would they? They noticed the smoky situation too late to save the prisoner from himself, making The Case Of The Charred Crook the first prisoner death in the history of the country. At 25 years of age, the only excellence Bojan Beši? displayed was in the manner of his demise. We recognize his outstanding effort with the not-coveted Darwin Award. Better luck next time.

https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2015-02.html

(9 February 2020, Mount Gambier Australia) At midnight the phone rang for Police Inspector Campbell Hill. "What? Someone fell into the sinkhole??? Bloody hell. Better ring up the Fire Department. We will need their Rope Rescue Rig for this one."

Cave Gardens Sinkhole, the most magical spot in South Australia, is actually the cenote on the flanks of a dormant volcano. Located at the heart of the City of Mount Gambier, beautiful vines and roses cascade down its steep walls and a graceful waterfall adds to the natural beauty. A protective fence surrounds the sinkhole, and a lovely wrought iron platform extends over the precipice to offer a thrilling view of the cenote floor one hundred feet below.

"What do you mean they drained the pool?" - Rick Lotz, FB
"Bastard owes me a 20-spot. Told him he couldn't do it." - James Madison, FB

The Mayor said the sinkhole, a popular local and tourist attraction, was "a safe environment for many years, enjoyed by thousands of people." Inspector Hill may have muttered those same rueful words as he arrived before dawn on Sunday morning. The Fire Service had already rigged the Rope Rescue apparatus. Searchlights focused on the lifeless body of 20 year old Bradley Streeter, who was hoisted up and out of the sinkhole at 3:00 am.

Police investigation swiftly uncovered the events that led to his tragic tumble. Two facts were certain: Bradley died instantly at the scene, and foul play was ruled out. But when Inspector Hill was told of the specific reason for Bradley's death he could only stand dumbfounded. "He did WHAT???"

Unlucky, ya poor silly bastard. RIP. Likely all of us have done
some almighty stupid shit and lived to tell the tale. -Matthew Ice, FB

Bradley was a cheeky lad with a heart of gold, adventurous and mechanically talented, fond of four-wheelers and fishing, an aspiring mechanic with a side hustle selling car parts. He had a good future ahead of him, and was well-loved by family and friends in his small hometown five hours away from Mount Gambier. So Inspector Hill found it hard to accept what witnesses and first responders were telling him: Young Bradley did a midnight handstand on the viewing platform railing.

Yes. A handstand. Moments before midnight, Bradley was poised upside down on a rail a hundred feet above the dark cave floor. In a single moment, his proud alley-oop! became a disastrous alley-oops! as he lost balance and his trajectory took him down into the deep dark cenote. Friends were with Bradley the night he performed an "illegal handstand that resulted in his death."

Handstands are fine at ground level, where a bump to the butt is the worst that can happen. But, add any amount of altitude and your chance of injury grows exponentially along with the force of gravity. The speed of an object in freefall doubles for each second it falls toward the earth. We editors at The Darwin Awards regretfully hand Bradley this Darwin Award, while wishing we could have talked sense into him before he did the deed.

https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2020-02.html

(17 March 2020, Colorado) Michael Sexson, 58, read of a buried treasure in a book authored by an eccentric and controversial art dealer named Forrest Fenn. In The Thrill of the Chase, Fenn claims that he himself buried two million dollars worth of gold coins and other artifacts somewhere out in the Rocky Mountains, and gives "clues" throughout the book, hinting at its secret location in nine poetry verses.

Temptation was great for Michael. Although 350,000 others had gone looking for the buried box, no one is known to have found it; worse, four men died in the effort. Unlike the rest of them, however, Michael KNEW where the treasure was buried, based on his interpretation of the "clues" in the book...so he talked a 65-year-old acquaintance into joining him on a treasure hunt, and their quest for quick riches began.

In February of 2020, they headed to Dinosaur National Monument on the Colorado-Utah border. Michael was so certain he knew where the treasure was that neither he nor his colleague prepared for an overnight stay in the mountains, no doubt assuming that if they started early enough they would be home by sunset, two million dollars richer.

Well, Michael was wrong. They found no treasure, and they lost their bearings. Cold, hungry, and disoriented, the future looked grim for Michael and his friend. Shivering and close to death, they were fortunately found just in time by a search and rescue team who brought 'em down the mountain.

One would think that having survived such an experience, Michael would have learned better...but he did not. One month later, having sufficiently recovered, he set out for a second try!! Once more he sweet-talked the 65-year old colleague into joining him because, treasure! THIS time they would find it.

The unfolding COVID-19 epidemic had prompted intermittent closures of Dinosaur National Monument, and hikers were cautioned that difficult terrain should be avoided so first responders could remain safe in quarantine. But that didn't stop Michael. On Tuesday, March 17th, he left Denver with a few candy bars, two bottles of water, a copy of Fenn's book, and the clothes on his back.

Just outside the park, the two men rented snowmobiles and loaded them onto the bed of their pickup truck. The bemused rental agent watched the unprepared treasure hunters drive off towards the remote northwest boundary of the park, perhaps wondering how long the unlikely pair would last before they returned. After nightfall, the rental agent alerted local authorities.

The search began. On the morning of Friday the 20th, they found Michael's truck. On Saturday morning they found the abandoned snowmobiles, and saw that Michael and his friend had unwisely continued on foot. Saturday afternoon they located the two men about a mile from the snowmobiles, ironically at nearly the exact spot of the previous rescue a month earlier. Michael was brought back down the mountain, but this time in a body bag. His friend barely survived, and refuses to talk about their ordeal to this day.

In June of 2020, the treasure was rumored to have been finally discovered, but this word came from the author Forrest Fenn himself, and he has not provided any further details as of the time of this writing. Fenn's veracity has been questioned by, among others, the FBI, and several lawsuits have since been filed against him. Some speculate that the treasure, if it exists at all, consists of artifacts illegally harvested by Fenn; whatever the truth is, people will no doubt continue looking for the fabled treasure. If so, they had best proceed better prepared... or else find themselves in the same sorry predicament as Michael and the treasure trove... buried.

https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2020-03.html

(17 November 2017, Florida) "Flying ICON-A5 low over the water is like flying a fighter jet!" tweeted Roy Halladay to numerous followers on the maiden flight of his brand-new Amphibious Sports Plane. One follower tweeted, "Roy please be careful...!" Four weeks later, the baseball hall-of-famer was killed in a nose-dive into the Gulf of Mexico.

Roy's illustrious career in professional sports did not qualify him as a fighter pilot, nor is the ICON-A5 a fighter jet. Sporty-looking on the outside, inside the plane is similar to a 1912 Curtiss Model F. Powered by a pusher propeller, and meant for level recreational flying, the A5 has one main advantage over the 1912 Curtiss: the wings are detachable for ease of transport.

The ICON-A5 is classified as a Light Sports Plane, and designed to take advantage of FAA regulations that recently created the category of Sports Pilot. A Sports Pilot certification requires less rigorous training, but a Sports Pilot is subject to considerably more restrictions than a regular pilot.

Because the ICON-A5 is so compact, it packs more power. But does that mean to go ahead and fly through a canyon at top speed, ala Luke Skywalker? NO! The Lead Engineer of IKON-A5 and the Director Of Engineering both perished in a crash on May 8, 2017, when the engineer attempted to maneuver at top speed down a narrow canyon. Because of that notorious tragedy, A5 pilots are acutely aware of its limitations.

"Roy, please be careful...!"

Roy Halliday's fateful Friday morning began early. He towed the ICON-A5 to a Florida beach and began working on a pre-flight checklist that included attaching the wings, ingesting alcohol, and downing a drug combination commonly referred to as a 'speedball.' A career in sports MIGHT justify a morphine prescription to quell the pain of cumulative injuries. But if a dose of morphine is needed, why choose mixers such as alcohol, amphetamines, and sleeping pills? After hitting that grand slam, a body is better off lying on the beach counting clouds rather than flying amongst them.

Checklist completed! Hepped up and ready for takeoff! Halladay was soon flying high-as-a-kite over the Gulf of Mexico with the throttle firewalled. Scare-o-batics began: steep banking climbs, sudden rivet-popping dives, pulling out of the dive a mere 5-10 feet over the water's surface.

As previously established, these antics exceeded the design of the small aircraft, and soon caught the attention of fishermen and recreational boaters. Some pulled out smart phones and recorded Halladay's high jinks, fearing that tricks would lead to tragedy.

Considering the pre-flight cocktail of alcohol, amphetamines, morphine, and Zolpidem, the phrases "feeling no pain" and "liquid courage" come to mind. Roy felt like a Top Gun, but his overloaded nervous system was Top Gunk! Some 15 minutes after takeoff, he entered his final maneuver -- a steep, turning climb that caused the speed to suddenly drop. One of the wings stalled, inducing an inverted spin, and the crate cratered the water at a 45 degree angle upside down.

According to the autopsy, Halladay perished by drowning. To the deep and lasting sadness of his family, his friends, and his fans, Roy wasn't careful.

https://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2017-14.html