"You have to tame the beast before you let it out of its cage"

"You think that you're too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite... you aren't."

"If there is anything that this horrible tragedy can teach us, it's that a male model's life is a precious, precious commodity. Just because we have chiseled abs and stunning features, it doesn't mean that we too can't not die in a freak gasoline fight accident."

In his first game, Hansel pulled off 1 completion, 1 td, 1 casualty and naturally got the mvp (he is, after all, the rising of star of male modeling).

"Who are you tryin' to get crazy with, ese? Don't you know I'm loco?"

"I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot."

"So I'm repelling down mount vesuvius, when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall, and I mean I'm about to die. Just falling, ahh, ahh! I'll never forget the terror, when suddenly I remember; holy shit, Hansel. Haven't you been smoking payote for 6 straight days, and couldn't maybe some of this maybe be in your mind?"
"And?"
"..It was! I was totally fine. I've never even been to mount vesuvius."

"Earth to Meekus..."

"Earth to Brint..."

After acknowledging that he had a son, he agreed to play bloodbowl for the new team. Unfortunately he doesn't take it very seriously so sometimes he comes late to the games; can't miss his shift in the coal mines.