Van Halen is Surgical Hits top scorer and a pest on defense, staying on his feet well and difficult to shift.

Surgical Hit's first witch Page has had a promising start. A match winning dodge, dodge, pass to a blitzer come to mind, and she has done as much as any elf to preserve the sides fine record.

A late arrival in the surgical hit ranks, Townshend is their first thrower and despite some dreadful inconsistency in early games has now taken to the role and is developing into a talented ball handler.

At 16spp Satriani became more and less agile at a stroke, LOS duty beckons for this silly elf.

Having smashed his ankle, May II has found himself often deployed on the line of scrimmage where he fulfills his role despite his belief that if brutally injured or killed the coach might, well, let him go.

Original Member of surgical hit and is graduating from LOS duty to become a useful versatile player, but still finds himself picking up experience on the front line. Reaching 76 spp without ageing Cobain learnt how to tackle and having accomplished this land mark the hard way- taking a tonne of hits, he has now officially become far too good for the LOS and will take down, and pin down those pesky blodgers in the backfield on defense.

An original member of surgical hit, Vai assumed kicking duties for Surgical hit on the very same day that his dear friend Corgan died on a drive begun by a bad kick from his very boot. Vai is looking to specialise in backfield defense when kicking and is often given the dirty job of dealing with the big and ugly opposing players and has done a good job dispatching rat ogres and the like.