Elected president in a close (and fraud-ridden, some argue) election, Kennedy's administration was known for its advancement of civil rights for goblins and the deft handling of the Amazonian Trebuchet Crisis. Elvish assassins thought they could dispatch Kennedy by shooting him in the head, but that just made him angier...

This charismatic figure presided over a period of economic growth and prosperity for the Orclands, spurred by the spread of really large rocks in everyday Orc life. His presidency was marred by scandal, especially centered around shady real estate deals and an inappropriate "relationship" with a goblin working as an intern. However, he still remains one of the most popular Orc presidents.

The spiritual center of the team, St. Glenn the Anchorite is a devout Glennian and aeschetic, having once spent two years in the desert sustained on a diet of small children.

Raised in the remote plains of the Orcish hinterlands, Napoleon dynamite is a certified elf-flesh inspector, and world-famous tether-rock champion.

A true beacon of progressive Orc society, this Orc/Elf/Amazon/Chaos Dwarf/Vampire/Khemri/Goblin/Dark Elf/Human/Norse/Troll/Lizardman hybrid is as talented as he is diverse. He dominates the game so much it makes betting on the sport lame and pointless.

Nobody *bleep*s with Matthew Broderick

A timeless star of stage and screen, appearing in such classics as "Bloody Christmas" and "The Secret Life of Urgnak Gristhos". His trademark red hair is really a wolfskin hat dipped in the blood his enemies.

Coming to power after the assassination of President McKinley, Roosevelt gained swift popularity with the Orcs. He arbitrated the end to the Large Rock Manufactory Strike, adopted the "Big Bludgeon" policy for foreign relations, and negotiated the end of the Khemri-Vampire War. His efforts against the great Blunderbuss monopolies of the age earned him the moniker "The Skull Buster." He also showed tremendous foresight, passing laws to protect the barren wastelands from landscapers attempting to beautify them. Ending his presidency after two terms, he sought a third term four years later, believing his obese successor incompetent. He lost, painted by his opponents as a warmonger seeking a fight against the dwarves. Ironically, the Orcs ended up fighting the Dwarves two year laters. Because they're Orcs. That's what they do.